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Want to learn to go to places alone more often but.. (poor sense of direction + anxiety)


g84

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I would prefer to have some company when i am going somewhere (shopping, to see a movie, etc), but i would like to be able to do these things on my own as well. In the past two years, my anxiety has become a lot worst, and it's really difficult for me to imagine going anywhere without some company. (There are certain things i can do with no problem, but others are a lot more difficult)

 

I remember someone made a thread once about how they felt a bit self-conscious about going places by themselves, and when i read that thread - i was thinking: I want to do it so badly, but i am afraid of panicking if i feel lost. That's really my only worry, i think. I don't have the best sense of direction at all, and i feel so transparent when i'm out somewhere. I feel like people can tell that i have no idea what i'm doing.

 

For example, I really would like to see a movie on my own some day, but i fear getting lost inside the actual place somehow. I'm afraid that i'll walk into the wrong theater or something. Don't ask me why or how i would do this lol. I don't know why i have all of these fears. I'm afraid that if i do feel lost, it will trigger some kind of panic attack as well. I realize that people make mistakes all the time, so i don't know why my fear is so strong.

 

I feel so stuck Even if I do have some company, i still feel alot of anxiety. So, the anxiety is there, no matter what i do, ultimately.

 

When i was in my teenage years, it wasn't like this..not as much. I would often go to places by myself.. and if i felt lost - i would try my best to deal with it. Now, it's so much worst. As sad as it sounds, one of my goals is to go to the movies by myself.

 

There isn't really any place that i'm accustomed to, since i don't go see movies often at all. If i was more used to a specific place, i guess my fear would be less strong..

 

If i could control my anxiety more, i think i would have a stronger sense of direction as well. But i guess my anxiety seems to cloud everything around me when i'm out..

 

does anyone have any advice?

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No i've never taken any medication, but i did a bit of therapy years ago. Only, my anxiety was actually better a few years ago..

I am thinking about getting some help again though..

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You could try putting yourself in situations where you're alone, but not alone... Maybe you could go to the movies with a friend, but ask that friend to go in ahead of you and that you will meet him inside. That way, you'd be going inside and finding everything by yourself, but if you panic you know that there's a friend close by to help you that you could call on their cell phone, or who would come looking for you if you hadn't arrived in X minutes.

 

I've had huge anxieties about certain things as well, and taking small steps helped me to get over them, as well as therapy. If it's helped you before, you should definitely look into it again. Or, join a support group that shares your same fears. I hope this helps!

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And if you do walk into the wrong theatre, you walk out and find your way to the right one. Getting lost is natural. It's called being human. Are you ok with your humanity? (I ask b/c I've had the same problem--I act as though I'm not allowed to be human and mess up sometimes, but really it's me trying to pretend I know that others will make fun of me or whatever, when really I don't know at all).

 

I used to get really anxious about going places alone. Now, I prefer movies and shopping alone. I dine out alone often. It's relaxing for me. It just takes one time to do it. Just have to have the balls. But it's not a do-or-die situation either. If you don't do it, if you chicken out, yuou can try next time.

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It might help if you ask yourself "what's the worst that could happen"? First, if you go to a show, the chance of going into the wrong theatre isn's likely, as they're each numbered. The ticket taker will tell you which theatre to go to, plus your ticket will have the number on it.

 

So, the worst that could happen is you'll forget which theatre number the ticket taker told you and you won't be able to read the number on the ticket, maybe you forgot your reading glasses. You could simply go and ask the ticket taker "Which theatre is ---- playing in and where is it? He'll answer your question and direct you to the right theatre. It's no big deal to him, because he probably does it 50 times every time he works.

 

Or, another scenario is you thought you went into the correct theatre, but when the show starts, you realize you're in the wrong one, because a different show is playing. In that case, you could leave the wrong theatre and again ask the ticket taker where the right theatre is. The worst that might happen is a couple of people might look at you when you get up, but people get up and leave their seats at the theatre all the time, either because they're in the wrong show, they have to go to the washroom, or they want to go buy some popcorn. Another option if you lose your nerve, is to just sit and watch the show in the wrong theatre.

 

Going to the show on your own is a good start to get over this anxiety, because it's a pretty easy one to plan. If you just use the same method whenever something causes you anxiety, figure out the worst that could happen and plan in advance how you could deal with it, you'll start to face your fears and it will get easier for you each time. Good luck.

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5 Ways To Become More Self-Accepting
5 Ways To Become More Self-Accepting

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