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Some people never grow up !


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Well, as some of you on here know from my previous post regarding the situation with my son who will be turning 21 next week.

 

I sent a birthday card and once again his father is trying to interfere in my relationship with him.

 

My ex who I had in my 20's told me I am freakin insane to send him a kids card (the card was for a kid/adult...it had a cute dragon on the front with a red balloon, but the inside wording was for an adult). Then he told me not to send him anymore letters or cards, that he don't want anything to do with me.

 

I am not angry, but had prepared myself for this reaction. I mean goodness can this guy at the age of 47 still be mad after 18 years that I broke up with him because I was tired of being abused by him? Talk about grudges...geez ! I didn't particularly like him either, but I am a very reasonable person and will always try to make the best of a bad situation and try to get along even with the likes of him.

 

I wrote an e-mail back telling him that I have no intention of staying out of my son's life and he had better get used to it...and if my son doesn't want me in his life then needs to call and tell me...that I don't want it coming from him (my ex). I told my ex that after all these years I waited until my son was grown to write him because I didn't think it was healthy for him to hear us fighting when he was a kid, but in the meantime he was bad mouthing me....now I think to myself how in the heck to fix this?

 

Any suggestions...my roommate said to write my ex's mother a nice undisclosed letter and see if I can get my son's information.

 

I knew it...I just knew my ex would intercept his mail and start poking his nose in my business with my son...this was the problem 18 years ago....he cannot just let us alone...he was also a very jealous person too, funny thing I didn't even cheat on him....Anyone who knows me knows very well what a loyal, hardworking, loving person I am....and those who don't such as him (my ex) is blind.

 

At the moment I am still trying to process this one-liner e-mail my ex sent me, which he said my son told him to send the card back, that he wants nothing to do with me....guess my ex was mad because I didn't send any check for him to convince my son to cash and give him the money.

 

Right now I am trying to figure out what to do.

 

I suggest that if anyone is deciding on having kids with someone, you better think long and hard about it, in the case things go sour you don't end up like me. Once you have kids with someone it's until death to you part....married or not!

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I think, as long as the outlaw is reasonable, that writing a sincere letter do her might be a very good idea- -situations like this are horrible...

 

My folks have only just realised, after 8 years apart, that they are divorced and are supposed to demonise each other (apparently).

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I am sorry this happened, but not surprised. Even if your ex did not interfere, you may indeed face the wrath of your son because you actually did make the choice not to fight for him..not to fight to see him. I couldn't blame him for being angry and resentful.

 

What makes you think I didn't? I made several journeys 2500 miles by plane and car and spent thousands of dollars working long hard hours, to pay a lawyer, but the judge said since he was living at the time with his grandmother it's better not uproot him. Not to mention I used to call him all the time and send him cards, gifts, letters...please don't kick me more crazy I am already in pain over this and this is the second time in a lifetime I have had to deal with this rotten SOB~

 

You have no idea what I did for my son...so don't make assumptions.

 

I need advice not criticizing. I have suffered alot in my life and don't need anyone telling me what I did wrong...I did what was right and that's that!

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What makes you think I didn't? I made several journeys 2500 miles by plane and car and spend thousands of dollars working long hard hours, to pay a lawyer, but the judge said since was living at the time with his grandmother it's better not uproot him. Not to mention I used to call him all the time and send him cards, gifts, letters...please don't kick me more crazy I am already in pain over this and this is the second time in a lifetime I have had to deal with this rotten SOB~

 

You have no idea what I did for my son...so don't make assumptions.

 

I am sorry, I didn't mean to accuse. The sad thing is that no matter what you did, your son will likely see it differently since the bottom line for him was that you weren't around..plus your ex probably spit poison about you. The only thing you can do is keep trying and hopefully one day your son will come around.

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I am sorry, I didn't mean to accuse. The sad thing is that no matter what you did, your son will likely see it differently since the bottom line for him was that you weren't around..plus your ex probably spit poison about you. The only thing you can do is keep trying and hopefully one day your son will come around.

 

I wasn't around not because I didn't want to be, but every freakin time I tried to call or visit my son my ex was always threatening me, calling me names, and harassing me....crap 18 years later he still trying to do it. my son is grown and the SOB is still trying to keep us apart and intercepting his mail...grrrrrrrrr I am getting pissed off with this guy all over again...see this is the crap I wanted to avoid all this time...I just couldn't allow my son to see the abuse I endured, but the butlick used my love for my son to try and trap me so he could use me as his mental/physical punching bag and when I ended the relationship he held him hostage...If he would have lived in California where I am from he would have never gotten away with this .

 

When I lived with my son at Children's Hospital for one year that was the hardest thing in the world to be there watching little kids dying all around you...I felt incredible pain...but I had to suck it up and feel nothing, couldn't let my son see what I was going through. When the doctor told me he was gravely ill and needed surgery to survive I ran to bathroom at the hospital and threw up the bile from my liver while my tears mixed with the vomit...and after that moment I never shed a tear and I refused to believe he would die...and now 21 years later he is still here...and so if the death didn't take him from me no SOB will either...at least not again...his day of lies are over!

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Okay... there's one thing I don't understand.

 

You kept mentioning about your ex interfering with everything you do for your son. But I find it really weird how he would know about it in the first place.

 

Obviously, you can just send him an email and your ex wouldn't have known. So what's the problem here?

 

I mean unless your son is really weird, the fact that you're sending your son an email probably wouldn't make him tell his dad what you sent him.

 

Exactly what happened that made the judge give the son to him so many ago?

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Okay... there's one thing I don't understand.

 

You kept mentioning about your ex interfering with everything you do for your son. But I find it really weird how he would know about it in the first place.

 

Obviously, you can just send him an email and your ex wouldn't have known. So what's the problem here?

 

I mean unless your son is really weird, the fact that you're sending your son an email probably wouldn't make him tell his dad what you sent him.

 

Exactly what happened that made the judge give the son to him so many ago?

 

For the 5th time...the judge didn't give him custody...second, I sent the letter to my ex's mothers house, because that is the only address I know... so when the letter came... because my ex and my son have the same name...he opened it up and probably decided to tell me some lie that my son didn't want to have anything to do with me.

 

I am I not making myself clear in my posts on this situation? My ex sent me the e-mail not my son! I put my contact info in the card/letter so my son could get a hold of me, but my ex hijacked the letter.

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Okay... there's one thing I don't understand.

 

You kept mentioning about your ex interfering with everything you do for your son. But I find it really weird how he would know about it in the first place.

 

Obviously, you can just send him an email and your ex wouldn't have known. So what's the problem here?

 

I mean unless your son is really weird, the fact that you're sending your son an email probably wouldn't make him tell his dad what you sent him.

 

Exactly what happened that made the judge give the son to him so many ago?

 

She sent him a card by post, not by email. She doesn't have her son's email address so the only way she could try to reach him was to mail a birthday card to her ex's mother's place and hope that it is given to the DW's son.

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Thanks mods for reopening my thread...

 

Guess the only thing I can do right now is write my ex's mother...(I hope she is still alive) because I am not sure the living situation, far as I know she may have passed on and he is living in her house now.

 

I had tried People Search, and some other people finders last year, but my ex's name is the only one that came up and the address I sent the Birthday card to. Better I get on my knees and pray for a miracle right now, because I need one. Guess there is nothing much that I can do because he is of age now and if he is believing I just walked out then I have a tough road ahead of me.

 

After I left and went back home to California (my son lives 2500 miles away on the other side of the US), I went to school, worked, got a place to live for him to stay and saved up to get a lawyer, and the judge said he had been living with his grandmother and he didn't think it would be a good idea to uproot him now....I couldn't believe what I was hearing, but it's okay to abuse a pregnant woman, which I completely believe that caused my son's heart problem, kidnap him, and hold him hostage so I cannot see him, only because I was tired of having him pull out my hair by the roots, and kick me around like a dog, then bust open my lip !

 

It took me two years to get a good job, find a beautiful home by the ocean, had transportation in a very gorgeous beach community blocks to the best schools around...I had everything set up for him...I worked so freakin hard to do this in the shortest time frame possible for the rotten judge to give me some lame excuse like that...I was devasted...so this is our legal system here!

 

I could see the judges reasoning if there were just cause say for instance if I were a drug addict, drank, didn't take care of my responsibilities...but geez guess criminals, bums, and abusers have more rights....legal system...rubbish !

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Hi Dreamwarrior. As the other day that you posted..I am shaken by your story and full sympathise for what you have been through. It left a lump in my throat then ann another bigger one now.

I want you to know that you are not alone in your prayers and I hope you find some peace ..somehow from your bad luck with your ex. Maybe your son will find out sooner than later? Somehow? I dont know. I know that you have my emotional support right here in my words and that those words may help you somewhat because I feel you pain. I am sorry he put you through this..

There has to be another way to get the truth to your son...?

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