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Do you feel like killing yourself when your upset, or every moment of every day?

Just a thought, tonight made me realise a lot.

 

My mum is away (again) I'm home alone. I'm always alone. My dad said i can't stay with him because his girlfriends kids are sleeping in my room. ''You can have the sofa if you want though, E'' Would anybody even notice if i went. If your family don't notice you, what hope is there for the rest of humanity. Whenever i'm about to cut myself, i distract myself by talking to my ex boyfriend, who is also the only one who knows about my cutting/suicidal thoughts/problems/whatever, and when hes too busy for me, too busy to talk when i'm upset.. it makes me think 'i could be calling to tell you i'm about to kill myself, then when you finally have time for me it will be too late because i'll already be dead'

 

At the end of the day, every day i suppose.. I'm alone, and nobody would even notice i existed until i was gone, as Tennyson so rightly thought.

 

 

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Have you got any friends you could call or talk to? A book you could read? You could try writing down how you feel, or maybe go to counselling it helps.

 

I have felt very alone, and down, and like letting go before. But when I see the beauty in life, and how fragile it is and how it can be taken away in a second. I realise its worth living no matter what.

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None of my friends know i guess, on the outside nobody would be able to tell.

How did you see the beauty in life? What was your realisation? Every time i get this low.. I think how easily it could be taken as a good thing, we struggle and continue to battle through this feeling all for what? for who? I write in a journal, then read back on it and think.. if i feel like this all the time then what good is going to come out of it.

thankyou for your reply, its good to know somebody understands.

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