DN Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 Hey - have you been spying on the mods? But, more seriously, I agree with your post. Link to comment
Lowconfidence Posted June 20, 2009 Author Share Posted June 20, 2009 Your putting all the Pressure on the women to resist. while shouldn't it really be the men not doing it in the first place? The women shouldn't have to "Stop taking advances" because the men shouldn't be making them knowing that they are in a relationship It would be great if men stopped in the first place. But the majority of cheating IMHO starts with the man who instigates. It's hard to control the roving eye of men. Link to comment
DN Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 It would be great if men stopped in the first place. But the majority of cheating IMHO starts with the man who instigates. It's hard to control the roving eye of men.Well, since you qualified this statement with "IMHO" it is pointless asking you to provide some sort of statistical evidence, since you admit it is just an opinion we can just take it at face value. Link to comment
D_Lish Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 That will never happen, all women on earth won't follow what you said. Well I wasnt and am not dumb enough to think it will happen.... And even if they did, I doubt that men would stop cheating. Some would just try to hide it better. Uhm if they all said NO, Men couldn't cheat. If they aren't cheating, there is nothing to hide.... As well, a man may cheat with a woman and not even tell her that he is in a relationship. It would not be the other person's fault for the cheating if they had no clue the cheater was in a relationship and in fact, cheating. Saying "no" will not eliminate cheaters. I already mentioned this....the fact that some will get involved with cheater and unbeknowingly. But if one is a relationship with someone who may be attached or married, there are ALWAYS red flags, that he may be married/attached. You get his mobile, but not the home phone number. He's never there, on special days such as Valentines Day, Xmas, etc. He doesnt take you out in public, doesn't take you to his house, etc, etc, etc.....it aint hard to tell, if you may be a in a relationship with someone attached...some women just refuse to see the signs, to dumb to notice or just plain arent bothered. The cheater has to make the decision to control themselves. Which like women never saying NO, won't and is not going to happen....because they get away with it too easily, albeit 'easy' women who cant say NO. Saying "men are men" is like I said, just reinforcing the idea that they cannot help it, which is bogus. You have your opinion, I have mine. Link to comment
Lowconfidence Posted June 20, 2009 Author Share Posted June 20, 2009 I really dislike it when some guys make a statements like this assuming that their own personal feelings about sex and inability to control themselves is reflective on all other guys. This is what you have to do(or there's a good chance you have already experienced this). Have a group of player friends that tell you about their conquests and see how some guys really are. Or have a pretty GF and get her to tell you about all the guys who intentionally hit on her knowing she has a bf. Link to comment
Lowconfidence Posted June 20, 2009 Author Share Posted June 20, 2009 Well, since you qualified this statement with "IMHO" it is pointless asking you to provide some sort of statistical evidence, since you admit it is just an opinion we can just take it at face value. Who actually has statistical evidence? And aren't all statistics supposed to be taken with a grain of salt? Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 Its a people thing, not whether your a girl or a guy, basically, if someones going to cheat, they will. If they arent, they wont. Some people have different morals, ethics, uprbringings all these things contribute to whether they will or wont. Link to comment
DN Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 Who actually has statistical evidence? And aren't all statistics supposed to be taken with a grain of salt? link removed According to a controversial British survey that came out last year, it may well be the opposite. Said link removed found that women actually cheat more than men. Mind you, not a lot more, but still a significant amount: Forty percent of females cheat on lovers, compared with 34 percent of males. Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 According to the most recent data on infidelity that I have read the percentage of women and men who cheat at one time or another in their marriages is around 50% (for both sexes). It seems often to men that men are seen as the sex who commits infidelity more frequently and the data shows this isnt necessarily true. Infidelity isnt about sex, its about something that is missing in the relationship. Infidelity is an emotional response to the feeling that something is lacking in a person's current relationship. I dont believe that people are perfect and they are going to make mistakes, therefore I understand why they cheat but perhaps there are few if any instances that could be justified. The bottom line is that infidelity is an emotional based response, it is not well thought out, its is not logical and is contrary to that person's relationship. The logical or illogical causes of infidelity can be debated until the end of time, but the simple fact is that infidelity will never stop. Just an interesting side note, people have an idea that some how in the past the human race was more pure and such things like infidelity were rare if they occurred at all. Of course this is an incorrect assumption, but just for reference one major world religion defined adultery as any man engaging in sexual relations with a married woman. Therefore a married man could not commit adultery if he was married and had sex with an unmarried woman. Of course this is just for reference. Link to comment
DN Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 link removed Up to one in 25 dads could unknowingly be raising another man's child, UK health researchers estimate Link to comment
thathoopla Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 Being fortunate enough to know some player friends, reading about the exploits of some Don Juan types, seeing with my own eyes the over the line flirtations with attached people at work, and having gfs who guys still hit on and tried to undermine me, yeah, it has opened my eyes to males who just don't care and want to tap that ass if given the chance. Those are not all men, hah. You can't make blanket assumptions. Of course there are those who don't care, and will try to get with any female/male. But it is not a male thing, otherwise, all males would be engaging in those activities. Uhm if they all said NO, Men couldn't cheat. If they aren't cheating, there is nothing to hide.... Sorry, but even if their partner is strong enough to say no and leave, some people will still cheat. Cheaters aren't always afraid of the consequences. Especially hedonistic people. It's not the fault of the person being cheated on. Link to comment
D_Lish Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 link removed Haha, true say. You can always be 100% sure of who your mum is....never your dad! LOL I know my dad is my dad though. The milkman was on strike when i was concieved Link to comment
keithlancaster Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 The milkman was on strike when i was conceived How about the mail man? Link to comment
D_Lish Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 Sorry, but even if their partner is strong enough to say no and leave, some people will still cheat. Cheaters aren't always afraid of the consequences. Especially hedonistic people. It's not the fault of the person being cheated on. Depends upon what a guy thinks of a woman, as to whether he will change or not...but granted, some men aren't bothered and still will go ahead and try his luck. But again, if all women said No to cheaters....he'd have no luck, so he'd likely run back to the wife and he wouldn't get her back either, if all women said No and didn't give men a 'second chance'....hed end up a sad, lonely old man.... I've been cheated on by the same guy, my ex H, not once, but three times.... Now after the first time he cheated, I took him back. When you take back a cheater, the man suffers no consequence and he thinks that because he cheated once and he got away with it, would he get away with it again? When you take back a cheater, you are saying that it is OK for him to have cheated on you! Whereas if you dumped his a$$ immediatley and didn't take him back, you are saying it's not OK to cheat on you.....there will be consequences! So I view it, that it was my fault that he went on to cheat on me a second and third time....and because I allowed him to get away in doing it a first time and because I so readily took him back! Link to comment
thathoopla Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 If a partner cheats multiple times, then it is more the fault of the other partner. I just don't think women saying "no" will eliminate cheaters. People will always make mistakes. Link to comment
D_Lish Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 If a partner cheats multiple times, then it is more the fault of the other partner. I just don't think women saying "no" will eliminate cheaters. People will always make mistakes. So if all women said No to a man they suspected or knew to be a cheat, who are these cheaters going to cheat with? It cant or couldnt be a woman, if we all say No.... If the women my H had cheated with had said NO and all other women he may have approached said No....the opportunity to cheat, wouldn't have been there or risen. So the likelihood is, he'd have stayed with me for life. Because there are so many 'loose' women, he could cheat easy. The women he cheated with, knew he was married!.. One of them cheated with him, because she'd thought he had money. She didnt spare a thought to me or couldn't give a crap about the fact he was married! Link to comment
Iakasot Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 So if all women said No to a man they suspected or knew to be a cheat, who are these cheaters going to cheat with? It cant or couldnt be a woman, if we all say No.... If the women my H had cheated with had said NO and all other women he may have approached said No....the opportunity to cheat, wouldn't have been there or risen. So the likelihood is, he'd have stayed with me for life. Because there are so many 'loose' women, he could cheat easy. The women he cheated with, knew he was married!.. One of them cheated with him, because she'd thought he had money. She didnt spare a thought to me or couldn't give a crap about the fact he was married! I think if that happened, a lot more guys would be bisexual Link to comment
thathoopla Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 So if all women said No to a man they suspected or knew to be a cheat, who are these cheaters going to cheat with? It cant or couldnt be a woman, if we all say No.... If the women my H had cheated with had said NO and all other women he may have approached said No....the opportunity to cheat, wouldn't have been there or risen. So the likelihood is, he'd have stayed with me for life. Because there are so many 'loose' women, he could cheat easy. The women he cheated with, knew he was married!.. One of them cheated with him, because she'd thought he had money. She didnt spare a thought to me or couldn't give a crap about the fact he was married! If all women said no, the men who are true cheaters will still do it behind their backs and do everything they can to hide it. You're using just 1 example of a cheater, I am saying that your solution for women to say "no" will not solve cheaters ALTOGETHER. Link to comment
annie24 Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 i was dating a guy for 6 weeks, that i only found out much later was married!!!!! Link to comment
IphigeniaSaysHi Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 I'm just judging for myself, I can't say no to food after I haven't eaten for one day, now if it was 2 weeks, I'd probably start devouring the iron bars of the cage I was in lol. Is this metaphor helping? I didn't sift through the rest of the posts but my immediate thought is: Plenty of men cheat in relationships where they are getting frequent and satisfying sex. Not all men cheat to get sex, it can be the anonymity or the rush of doing something "wrong". If all women had to do to keep their men from screwing other random chicks was give them more sex, I think cheating wouldn't be as rampant. Some men just like the thrill of infidelity. All of this goes for women cheaters, as well. Link to comment
Iakasot Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 I didn't sift through the rest of the posts but my immediate thought is: Plenty of men cheat in relationships where they are getting frequent and satisfying sex. Not all men cheat to get sex, it can be the anonymity or the rush of doing something "wrong". If all women had to do to keep their men from screwing other random chicks was give them more sex, I think cheating wouldn't be as rampant. Some men just like the thrill of infidelity. All of this goes for women cheaters, as well. You don't understand the definition of the term "satisfying", do you? If you have sex with someone, you can't say that they are getting satisfying sex, it's up to them to determine whether it is or not. Link to comment
IphigeniaSaysHi Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 You don't understand the definition of the term "satisfying", do you? If you have sex with someone, you can't say that they are getting satisfying sex, it's up to them to determine whether it is or not. No, I'm completely retarded apparently. By satisfying, I mean: the wife is into it, she does what he asks him to do, etc. Not the "dead fish" and "she won't give me oral" type of sex some fall into. Still- take out the word satisfying. The rest of the argument stands. Link to comment
D_Lish Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 If all women said no, the men who are true cheaters will still do it behind their backs and do everything they can to hide it. You're using just 1 example of a cheater, I am saying that your solution for women to say "no" will not solve cheaters ALTOGETHER. I think it would. And these are the examples I spoke of: 1. Women not putting up with crap. Kicking men to the curb, as soon as they see 'red flags...saying NO to second chances, with a man who has shown and proven himself to be unstrustworthy and meaning NO! 2. Women saying NO and keeping their legs crossed, to men who they know to be in relationships/or married.. Men would respect women, far more in a world like the above...and in a world where women respected themselves. Alas, it aint gonna happen - there will always be some other woman who cant wait to get her claws into someone else husband....so cheaters both male and female will continue to cheat and thrive. Link to comment
DropToZero Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 8 pages later...what's new hah Uh... yeah, statistics, infidelity, sex drives, the "need" to spread seed", or the fear of commitment to one and only one... all add up to one thing, sad morals and excuses. It's a joke what the idea of "family" in today's culture is... and it has nothing to do with race, background, religion, or faith... it has to do with personal CHOICES and RESPONSIBILITY. We live in a current age where no one can take responsibility for mistakes... It's not the idea that we wish to achieve perfection because believe me, I make mistakes, the difference is people either don't realize them as mistakes when they make them, or they deny them, or they DON'T LEARN from them. Go ahead, it's fine, if you wish to believe you have justification in cheating, I can't stop you or change your mind(and neither will 8 more pages of arguments)... and that's not the point, just do every person who TRIES to stay faithful and wants a family and responsible person next to their side a favor.. and stay the hell away from them... Keep your beliefs away from families, children, and fidelity, and people won't have a problem with you. Your rights end where mine begin. Link to comment
Kantriakhor Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 I'm just judging for myself, I can't say no to food after I haven't eaten for one day, now if it was 2 weeks, I'd probably start devouring the iron bars of the cage I was in lol. Is this metaphor helping? No, because eating is a need for an individual to live, sex is not. Link to comment
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