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Why I think cheating is justified.


Lowconfidence

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I know it takes two to tango and you can't blame it solely on the male.

 

But from a guy's perspective, most males just cannot keep it in their pants. Yes there are a few males, but most guys don't care and are in the hunt for a new p****y all the time. They don't care if a woman is taken are not. The only times they will back off is if the woman is involved with a relative or a close male friend.

 

Most guys are not like the posters on ENA. Most guys are aggressive and will flirt with women in relationships and hope it leads to somewhere. Or they will try the friend route and hope for a break-up or in fact try to break it up.

 

I just find there is very limited honour in men. A woman has the final say if she will cheat or not. But if men had more honour and backed off from the beginning there wouldn't be so much cheating.

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You make it seem as if women who cheat have no self control if a man hits on them. It's as much a choice to respond as it is to initiate.

 

And men have just as much a final say . In fact the whole 'final say' idea would be redundant if there were not a first approach. And it's not always men who make the first approach.

 

I believe cheating is an equal-opportunity choice.

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But from a guy's perspective, most males just cannot keep it in their pants.

 

That is complete B.S.

 

I can understand that most people have a harder time controlling their thoughts, or their eyes if they see a gorgeous person in front of them, but it takes many many more steps to take it out of their pants and do something about it.

 

That is the most ridiculous excuse ever. If men cannot keep it in their pants and control their urges, then it follows that he may not have control over other things. So why do people say that men are rational beings? There was a party at a law firm that I had heard about from a friend, where this male lawyer (who was married) was dirty dancing with a female secretary (who was single). Since he was married it caused many rumours and who was blamed? The woman, who "should have known better". Why was the man not blamed? Almost everyone in the middle of that gossip had said "he's a man, he can't help it". Firstly, the woman is married and she can do whatever she wants. Sure it was not right for her to dance with the man, but the man should have been more careful since HE was the married one, and he is MORE in the blame.

 

If this lawyer "could not help it, he's just a man", then WHAT gives him the ability to be a LAWYER, an occupation which requires a lot of rational thinking? What a silly excuse!

 

If they cannot control their urges then maybe we should have a penis-brace so that they can't "take it out" whenever there is a possibility for temptation.

 

Of course men can control themselves. There are just those who choose not to.

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well, i think what she is trying to say (not to put words into her mouth!) but that we are beings capable of thought and restraint. we aren't animals unable to control their urges. we know what is right and wrong, and we can exercise restraint. i may really want that diamond necklace, but i'm not going to steal it. because i know that if i get caught, i will have to pay a huge price, both fine and jail time. now, some people are willing to take that risk, and they get caught. if a man (or woman) is willing to cheat, then they are also willing to take the risk that they may get caught and will lose their loved one, and may potentially lose their good lifestyle, if they get taken to divorce court.

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Good post, annie, that is exactly what I am trying to say.

 

If only you were a male and had conversations with other males who are not afraid to voice out their TRUE thoughts.

 

Believe me I know there are MANY males who would screw any girl. Do you not see the point I was making in that post? The argument that "they can't help but take it out of their pants" is very weak. Unless you want to give up the idea that most men are rational beings (I mean this from a human perspective, not a gendered one), then you cannot say that they have no control over their bodies (hands, penis, lips, etc.).

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Good post, annie, that is exactly what I am trying to say.

 

 

 

Believe me I know there are MANY males who would screw any girl. Do you not see the point I was making in that post? The argument that "they can't help but take it out of their pants" is very weak. Unless you want to give up the idea that most men are rational beings (I mean this from a human perspective, not a gendered one), then you cannot say that they have no control over their bodies (hands, penis, lips, etc.).

 

If most males were the ENA type, then I would say yes, the majority can control themselves.

 

But the other men in the real world? Good luck.

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If most males were the ENA type, then I would say yes, the majority can control themselves.

 

But the other men in the real world? Good luck.

 

People who are on ENA are real people too, we don't live in an ENA world. We come accross plenty of people in real life. So I guess you will just ignore what I said and think that I have no experience with the real world. I know there are guys who cheat, I know there are girls who cheat, and I know there are people who do NOT cheat.

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If most males were the ENA type, then I would say yes, the majority can control themselves.

 

But the other men in the real world? Good luck.

 

i still disagree. people have control over their bodies, and if they do not, then they need to be locked up into a psych ward. it's just that they are willing to risk for what they want. most people don't go to the grocery store and steal food because the risk outweighs the benefit. i have money, if i am hungry, i will buy a sandwich. i don't want to risk going to jail over a sandwich. but maybe some hungry street orphan will steal food, because they have no other choice, no money, and are willing to risk getting caught to eat.

 

these men can choose not to cheat. many people might be tempted, but don't want to cheat because they don't want to lose their wife, get taken and dragged through divorce court, and then pay her 50% salary for the rest of her life. the stakes can be high.

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It's called 'temptation'. Some people can resist it and some can't.

 

If people are happy with their lot, then they can resist and don't tend to give in to temptation...those unhappy, or those seeking 'greener pastures' continually, will give in....and likely die of AIDS, sad and lonely.

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LC- since most men will cheat because they do not have the self-control women have, what do you suggest women do?

 

And because women tend to put up with crap from men, tis why some men, are the way they are....

 

I think if we women were to kick men to the curb a lot more often, men would think twice about messing us around....do you think?

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LC- since most men will cheat because they do not have the self-control women have, what do you suggest women do?

 

Stop taking in advances and flirtations from men when you are in a relationship. It takes two to tango but most of the time it's the male who instigates.

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And because women tend to put up with crap from men, tis why some men, are the way they are....

 

I think if we women were to kick men to the curb a lot more often, men would think twice about messing us around....do you think?

 

I agree with this. I think women love men more than men love women, generally.

STOP IT. You have to make yourself number one.

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And because women tend to put up with crap from men, tis why some men, are the way they are....

 

I think if we women were to kick men to the curb a lot more often, men would think twice about messing us around....do you think?

 

i agree. no crap!!!!! walk away when the crap starts. i agree with that line from 'he's just not that into you,' if more women put their foot down, there would be a lot more better behaved men.

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LC- since most men will cheat because they do not have the self-control women have, what do you suggest women do?

 

Women do not have better self-control. For example, men are more successful at quitting smoking. It's just the fact that men's sex drive is stronger, so is the urge. It's like comparing men controlling themselves and saying no to cocaine, to women saying no to ice cream.

 

Some men are shameless about cheating, yes. We are programmed to spread our genes, as human beings. If we weren't, none of us would be here today.

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Women do not have better self-control. For example, men are more successful at quitting smoking. It's just the fact that men's sex drive is stronger, so is the urge. It's like comparing men controlling themselves and saying no to cocaine, to women saying no to ice cream.

 

Some men are shameless about cheating, yes. We are programmed to spread our genes, as human beings. If we weren't, none of us would be here today.

 

I can say no easily to ice cream.....in fact I can say no to most things, that I know are wrong! Never cheated in my entire life and although when I was married and had opportunites with guys who were wayyyy more attractive than my ex H....I was able to say NO quite easily enough.

 

And again, if women didn't put up with 'flighty' men and kicked them to the curb immediatley the 'red flags' were flying....men would be different and may not want to so readily, spread their genes allover the place....and with whoever will have them.

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there's a HUGE difference between saying no to ice cream, saying no to cocaine, saying no to sex. huge!!! if i eat 1 bowl of ice cream, what happens? i have like 500 calories, that's not even gaining 1 pound. cocaine is illegal and a narcotic that can impair judgement. sex outside of a relationship can lead to STDs, upsetting your SO, and divorce!

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Women do not have better self-control. For example, men are more successful at quitting smoking. It's just the fact that men's sex drive is stronger, so is the urge. It's like comparing men controlling themselves and saying no to cocaine, to women saying no to ice cream.

 

Some men are shameless about cheating, yes. We are programmed to spread our genes, as human beings. If we weren't, none of us would be here today.

 

I thought gendered ideas like these were not allowed on this website?

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