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Not coping with a break up


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This is my first post and i found this site through hours of loneliness trawling the net looking for answers.Basically my girlfriend of four years walked out on me over a very petty argument.I really thought she was just in a temper and would come back,how wrong i have been.It doesn't add up to me as she completely shut down any feelings she had for me plus the fact she abandoned 50 odd various birds she had in avaries,7 rabbits fishtanks etc.She walked out with two dogs said she didnt know when she was coming back then rang five minutes later to say she wasn't coming back.

Since then i've been in hell everyday as she has changed her number and has made no contact about all the animals.She has been twice with her folks and grabbed a few items and just simply ignored me when i pleaded with her to talk.All i got was i've had enough!.I truelly don't understand what is going on as i truelly love her and all i have done for the past four years is work and gave her everything she wanted and i really mean that.

Thinking back,she was having womans troubles with periods and stuff and she did become very irrational at times.Two days before she left she promised to go to the doctors about her moods with periods.Actually the day she left she recieved clear results of an ovarian scan from hospital as she did think something was seriously wrong as she sometimes had two periods a month.

Helen is 27 and recently has been friends with an 18 year old girl through horse riding.The girl is so immature i asked Helen what the big friendship with her was about as she never even acted 18,she said it was just about horses.When Helen left,this is the first place she went.I drove up to her house and asked to speak to Helen,she came out and said "i'm 27 and have never done nothing with my life" and that she wanted me to go and find someone else then went back in.I phoned her mobile and went through to answer machine and left a message saying why are you here with a stupid 18 year old.Next thing the girls dad came out,started swearing at me about calling his daughter stupid and told me to leave.I'm sorry but this girl doesn't even act like a 15 year old kid and obviously Helen has no respect and passed on my phone message.

The feedback that i did get that i was grumpy and i know i can be but there really was no signs of her walking out.We were at the beach the night before with the dogs having a picnic.She wanted to have a bbq hours before she left.We were planting flowers in tubs in the garden the whole week for summer.I just can't cope with the loss,it's made me ill how someone can shut down and couldn't care if i lived or died,is this normal.She just walked away with 2 dogs and that was it,over.She left the 4x4 jeep i bought her for xmas all the money we saved in the safe and all her animals that she tended to daily.I just curled up and died and my folks who are in their 70's have been helping with the animals.We haven't heard anything from her and it's destroyed me....................any feedback is welcome

Jim

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Jim,think about yourself buddy forget about her for now...trust me dont stress yourselff over it.let her hang with the 18 year old,soon she will realise that she its almost 30 and not a teen ager anymore and might come looking for you.probably you guys need something different to do,like a new hobby together or somme new exciting activity.

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Jim- Dare I speak of this as a man, but as someone once said to me when I mentioned my gf's mood problems with her cycle, 'oh and you believed that?'. Sounds like there's a lot going on with her that you haven't been hearing about.

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I'm not hearing very much although a guy that used to work for me said he spoke to her where she works and she was bragging that she was single! Seems to be running me down and telling downright hurtful lies.She seems quite happy to leave most of her commitments and possesions here with the great wall of silence from her end.I forgot to mention that she got all her long hair cut off the day after she left,new beginnings,i'm in control?.I said i preferred her hair long,now she's saying i stopped her getting the haircut she wanted?

I dropped a couple of bags of clothes off at her sisters today,obviously i wanted to find out how she was.Her sister said she was immature when i met her and changed to suit me for four years and now she is back to what she was before she met me.Her sister is disgusted with what she has done and said she doesn't give a * * * * about her animals because her happiness is only temporary and moves on when she's fed up.She also said she is behaving like a drama queen and playing a victim,victim of what?.She has been wrapped in cotton wool by her folks.Her sis says she thinks of no one but herself......she's certainly right on this occasion.It's like she has changed into another person.Maybe i never knew her as much as i thought i did.

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Hardtrack

 

I'm sorry for your pain, this does sound confusing and I'm sure you want answers..who wouldn't? Sounds like she was bottling things up or who nows? maybe something unexpected came over her.

 

Try and get through each day and with time you will gain some clarity..

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All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You

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