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Lonely at night, and hate going to sleep alone


Traveler27

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I am having an extremely hard time coping with feelings of loneliness - particularly at night as I'm getting ready to go to bed. I hate the idea of getting in bed, alone and worrying about everything. I am feeling sad and very scared of sleeping alone. I was in a 5 year relationship that ended over 1 year ago, so I thought I would be used to sleeping alone by now, but I'm not.

 

I hate this feeling. I am lonely during the day too, but obviously there are ways of distracting oneself during daytime hours. To add to the problem, I have insomnia and usually have to force myself to go to bed, and even then I just lay there for hours - it is horrible.

 

Does anyone else notice their loneliness intensifying at night? I feel like I should be stronger. I need to get over this.

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Yes! I am exactly the same way... to the point where I'm staying up for 35+ hours a few times a week, and sleeping for 2-3 hours a night at best.

 

I was in a 2.5 year relationship that ended over a year ago, and I haven't slept the same since. It had gotten better until about 8 months ago, and is steadily getting worse.

 

Lately, I've taken to sitting up all night reading the same things I do during the day - books, websites, and other random material. I have to stay quiet as I live with my family, but it doesn't matter whether I sit or lay down, I'm never comfortable to get restful sleep. Instead, I pass out from sheer exhaustion.

 

If you want to talk about this, feel free to PM me.

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Does anyone else notice their loneliness intensifying at night?

I think it's normal that feelings, emotions and loneliness intesify at night, because that's when you have a lot more quiet time which allows your mind to wander and overthink literally everything. During the day one is usually distracted with many other things, work occupies most of the day and you're always interacting wih others - therefore not much time to think.

 

I think it's normal that your loneliness intensifies at night.

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Yes, I know the feeling all too well. It sucks. I hate being alone at night. Especially since I sleep in a sexy nightie and it's like well jeez I might as well sleep in sweats since there's no one here to appreciate it lol I think with these feelings will become less intense. It's just part of the grieving process. I'm sorry you're having such a hard time

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I just broke up 24 hrs ago, so this is pretty much my first night but I sure feel a lot more lonely than I did today! During the day, like it was said, it's easier to distract from the loneliness but at night......I've been in bed for 4 hours now and can't picture myself falling asleep anytime soon...

I wish there was a way to make this feeling go away so I could sleep!!

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i'm currently in a relationship, but it's mostly long distance and could possibly be ending in a few months. so i do know that feeling all too well. the loneliness and anxiety at night, your mind racing with worries...

 

what i find helps for me is reading a book in bed with just a small lamp on. i usually force myself to keep reading until i can't keep my eyes open anymore. keeps my mind occupied and then i fall asleep easier without getting sidetracked with daily worries and loneliness. melatonin is good as well - i'll take one or two before bed sometimes if i'm feeling tense or anxious and it really helps to relax and make falling asleep easier.

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I know the feeling all too well....I sit up til late a lot of nights unless I can knock myself out somehow. I listen to podcasts, read, go online, do whatever I can to occupy myself. A drink or two settles the nerves and I just hope to fall asleep without thinking of how my friends are miles and miles away and of how much I worry about not finding someone else.

 

(Sorry, Mr Jack Daniels is speaking tonight, lol)

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I feel like I couldve written this thread (in fact I've probably written a similar one). I'm single for a year now and I'm lonely. I'm not lacking in social life but in love I am. Nights are hardest b/c I'm hugging a pillow (or my dog if she feels like sleepign with me) just for the sake of having something to hug. I battle insomnia also and having to stay up more hours than I should...alone...makes it harder at times.

 

I don't have any advice b/c I go thru the same thing too often. Just wanted to let you know you're not alone...

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I watch a lot of TV series too, particularly Science Fiction. I am on my second run through of Battlestar Galactica right now (midway through Season Two) and have a fair few others to boot.

 

I enjoy it to be honest. That's one time I don't mind my solitude.

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Yeah, I've been sleeping without my boyfriend for a year now and I have gone into a habbit of sleeping late and waking up late (I also start at my job in the early afternoon). My whole scedule is messed up!

 

I do meet up with friends, venture out and enjoy things but overall I think like many posters I lost a "stability" that was there because of the relationship, for example not cooking anymore like I used to because now it's just for me.

 

Also maybe it's that I have moved back to my mother's house, lost a sense of my own life who knows? Do I remember you kave moved as well traveler27?

 

I as well kinda exhaust myself to sleep, I have found that classical music helps by the way! Also I visualise that I'm floating in space and that helps as well.

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Yeah, I've been sleeping without my boyfriend for a year now and I have gone into a habbit of sleeping late and waking up late (I also start at my job in the early afternoon). My whole scedule is messed up!

 

I do meet up with friends, venture out and enjoy things but overall I think like many posters I lost a "stability" that was there because of the relationship, for example not cooking anymore like I used to because now it's just for me.

 

Also maybe it's that I have moved back to my mother's house, lost a sense of my own life who knows? Do I remember you kave moved as well traveler27?

 

I as well kinda exhaust myself to sleep, I have found that classical music helps by the way! Also I visualise that I'm floating in space and that helps as well.

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Show called Supernatural. It's fairly odd, I must say.

 

Oh, I love that show. That and Family Guy are the only two shows I watch (other than Judge Judy, of course, but that's a given). I know a lot of women like that show because of the two male leads.

 

Also, cheer up everyone. We've all been there, but it always gets better.

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Im sorry about that...I feel the same whenever my

SO isn't at home because he works during the Pm...

Try buying yourself a good book, and laying down in bed

reading, this helps A LOT for me..

I have some what gotten use to the fact that im alone

at night, but there are times when i feel verely lonely and

afraid of somebody breaking in. I have had numorous

dreams about this ...I hope everything gets better for you!~

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  • 1 month later...

Hi everyone, I know these posts were written here a while ago but i've only just found this site. I've been single for the past 6 years and I suppose you could say I've got used to sleeping alone after all that time. But I thought I would have found someone by now and night-times just serve as a miserable reminder that I'm still on my own. I dont really sleep properly either, because i cant relax as there's no-one else in the house. I think at night everything just seems ten times worse cos u are alone with your own thoughts. I'd love to be able to cuddle up at night to someone who cares about me, that to me would be worth more than winning the lottery...but for now at least I've found this site. I know I'm not the only one in the world who feels isolated and alone right now, and to all of you I send good wishes. Take care xxx

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Hey Bluebellstar. I'm in a very similar situation, feeling very lonely wondering if I'm ever going to find someone again. It's really tough when things get stagnant in life and as a result all my negative tendencies and thoughts start to come flooding back. But yeah, for some reason knowing that we're not alone in our loneliness gives a little consolation, however little. You know the old saying, misery loves company I send my good wishes to you as well and everyone else in the same position. Hopefully this is only temporary for all of us.

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Yes - I can relate. There's less to focus on outside of yourself at night time and the darkness also hangs heavy I think and contributes to this feeling of isolation and loneliness. Not sleeping is one of the worst htings in the world and when you're becoming more and more tired as the days go on, it makes life seem a lot harder and makes things seem a lot worse.

 

I'm feeling very lonely at the moment and my life in recent years has consisted of one bad thing after another. I'm finding it diffiuclt to dig myself out of a hole and don't like being on my own. I miss the warmth of another and even my lovely, cute little cat isn't enough.

 

However, on a lsightly bright note - I do like sleeping diagonally accross the bed - that's just fab. And that's the only bright note I can muster for th moment.

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I always get really weird in the nighttime, i avoid going to bed (like i'm doing RIGHT now) and tend to get depressed and worrisome (also now).

 

sometimes it's almost like in the daytime i can be happy, very happy.

and in the nighttime it just...well...

i can't remember the last time i went to bed happy.

i hate being alone, if i'm staying over to my boyfriend's house then i'm usually fine. him just being there sortof stops me from thinking.

 

i think a good idea is to just put on a nightlight and turn on a radio or television really low. so it's sortof like the daytime, things are still happening...

but you can drift off.

even if you can't sleep with those things on, i even find that just lying there for awhile helps. and then finally i realize that i'm tired and can turn off everything and just sleep fairly instantly.

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I never thought much about this. I left her Sunday night after she made it plain I could not stay, for my own mental health. And now I had a week of strange schedules revolving arond eating, sleeping, and being with people alongside working when I can. At least I get SOME work done, but I'm supposed to be working right now is all. Sigh.

 

I didn't get my GF until I was 25 - and now I do remember that I was anxious and very nocturnal when I was without another. When I had her, she was a great comfort and relief, and now I'm alone again. But in the last few weeks she has been training me well on how to sleep alone, so I am getting back to it. I was also getting into the swing of setting myself a more mature schedule, like going to bed earlier, which required me to go to bed before she did.

 

I'm at peace right now. I know later in the night I get more emotional about it, and even classical music isn't very soothing, though it is the only thing I can listen too. Everything is about sex and love and heartbreak, haha!!

 

I think the best thing has been talking to people, and it has really helped. Hence why I don't want to leave and it being so late I REALLY SHOULD!!!

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