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If he doesn't come sometimes, does that mean lack of attraction?


jenm

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My boyfriend and I are in a long-distance relationship. We've been together about 6 months, and aside from a few issues, it's been great. We see each other every 3 weeks, and soon he'll be moving to my city and we'll see each other all the time.

 

Here's the thing -- when we have sex, it takes him a really long time to come. No problem getting hard. But sometimes we'll be going at it for ages, and then he'll just give up and say it's not going to happen just then. Other than this, we have a really healthy and fun sex life -- he's always up for it, and so am I.

 

Is this something I should worry about? In past relationships, I've always had the opposite problem, if any. Could it mean that he's not as sexually attracted to me as he could/should be? Or could it just be the way he's built? Sometimes he comes fast, but often it takes a long time, and sometimes not at all.

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It could be the whole distance thing. If you're only seeing each other once every three weeks, it can make it hard to build a rhythm and get a feel for each other. It's like, you don't do it for almost a month, and then suddenly it's sex time. It's like going for a run without stretching first; your performance isn't what it could be. He could also be putting pressure on himself during sex if he's thinking something like, "Oh man, I have to make this awesome because I may not get to do it again for three more weeks!" which prevents him from getting off.

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Are y'all drunk when he can't finish? I've had bf's in the past that can't seem to get there if we've been drinking.

 

That might be true for some, but others, myself included, are more potent when buzzed. Less control over yourself and all that.

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Does he stay hard from beginning to "end"? If that's the case, then like Tethys said, he's definitely into you.

 

Southern mentioned alcohol, which in moderation can definitely prolong things but not affect hardness. Also, if he's popping viagra or some OTC sex pills, this can cause similar problems to alcohol.

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  • 5 years later...
No it doesn't mean loss of attraction..Some men can cum,

others, it takes a long long time to make them cum...

Also some men jack off during the day and if they just cummed,

alot can't cum again..

Hope that helped

 

smartest answer on here. if he doesnt seem into it n cant cum maybe its an issue but if the jack rabbit is in motion at full capacity he probably jacked off to ensure he last with u

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If you are in an LDR then he *probably* masturbates a lot. And if he masterbates a lot, that's going to make it harder to get off during sex. It doesn't mean he's not attracted to you.

 

I have experienced this same problem. My bf and I have been together for 2 years in what some would call and LDR (we live an hour apart and only see each other on weekends, even though we talk every day throughout the week.) And sometimes it takes forever for him to come, and there are times when he doesn't come at all, but stays hard the whole time.

 

Masturbation raises the bar.

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