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Do You Need Reassurance? Stop It Li...
Do You Need Reassurance? Stop It Like This

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So I have been on/off with a man for 8 years now, I am only 23 years old. We broke up in December but still talk and do almost everything the same. He claimed when we broke up that he was trying to "fix" himself. I was fine with this at the time because I needed some things that I needed to fix for myself. But, lately I am not happy with the situation, I want to be with him more then I have ever wanted anything in my life and he doesnt feel the same right now. He doesnt want a girlfriend, this really breaks my heart but I cant seem to let go and I really want to because I think I may be on the road to depression. All I do is think of him, I always make the attempt to call, hang out, etc but he never does. I am really lost and dont know what to do anymore. I tried telling him today that I was unhappy and he simply told me that "this is how it is right now". Why cant I just leave? I just dont know what to do anymore. Anyone can help?

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You have my sympathy. It sounds to me that he is definitely not in to you as much as you are him. This happens unfortunately. You are only 23...your whole life ahead of you...believe me things will get better.

 

You won't want to hear this but you need to move on. I have had this happen to me before and time is the big healer. You need to not contact him...lots of guys are like this...non-committed..stringing girls along (i'm a guy so i know!). Do you have friends..if so you need to meet up, go out, keep yourself busy..anything to take your mind off this situation.

 

Your present reaction is perfectly normal...nobody likes rejection. It is one of the most painful experiences anybody can go through. I'm advising you here from a personal perspective..i've been there (and quite recently)........it's like a bereavement..because you are going through a 'loss'. It will get better i promise.

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You have my sympathy. It sounds to me that he is definitely not in to you as much as you are him. This happens unfortunately. You are only 23...your whole life ahead of you...believe me things will get better.

 

You won't want to hear this but you need to move on. I have had this happen to me before and time is the big healer. You need to not contact him...lots of guys are like this...non-committed..stringing girls along (i'm a guy so i know!). Do you have friends..if so you need to meet up, go out, keep yourself busy..anything to take your mind off this situation.

 

Your present reaction is perfectly normal...nobody likes rejection. It is one of the most painful experiences anybody can go through. I'm advising you here from a personal perspective..i've been there (and quite recently)........it's like a bereavement..because you are going through a 'loss'. It will get better i promise.

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Why cant I just leave? I just dont know what to do anymore. Anyone can help?

 

Sometimes love is not enough. Sometimes we develop feelings that are unworkable on a practical level. I won't say that I agree with the way he is going about it, the kinder option all round would be to cut contact completely. Stringing it out is not getting either of you to where you need to be and is actually causing more pain. However, why give him control? You are unhappy - YOU decide what is best for you, you can end this anytime you choose to.

 

Perhaps if you try to see that his intention (misguided, maybe) is good and not aimed at hurting you, that the feelings you shared were not once valid, that no one person is to blame for the way things developed, it may lessen the emotional pain and make letting go easier. Take care.

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