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not happy where i am in life


chewbaca

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so i am mainly looking to vent and just share where i am. the last month or so i have been really down on myself. i dont feel like much of a success. i feel like i am alone. i have very few friends and even fewer that i actually hang out with. i cant ever seem to get a girl to like me past a couple of dates. and then i manage to screw it up with the ones that may actually be starting to have feelings for me. i really only stayed friends with one person from high school and he took his own life about 5 years ago. i have been sad/depressed for as long as i can remember. not just about him, but about my life in general. the last month or so it has seem to be worse for me. for the first time in a long time i have thought about suicide rather than just wanting to disappear. today i took a short walk to the store and nearly started crying for really no reason. i was just really sad and it got to me. i dont feel like i am having success at my job and while i should be thankful i have a job in these days, thats not enough. i feel lonely constantly. i am in love with a girl who wont give me the time of day lately. i dont have anybody to go to or people to spend time with to get my mind off of her. i am struggling to find a reason to go on. people say to find a hobby or join a club but very few things interest me. i just want to withdrawal from society. thanks for taking the time to read.

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Oh no, I am really sorry you feel this way. I have felt that exact same way. Everyone told me to exercise find a hobby, etc etc. The only thing that has helped me was getting some medications. I hated to admit that I had to take those, but I finally agreed it was worth a shot and it has been worth it. Although i did have to try 5 different kinds before I found one that helped. You have been through a lot dealing with the loss of your friend and it isnt easy. I dont make friends easily either and it makes me feel lonely, which adds to the depression. Today I was at the lake with my kids and saw two ladies chatting together and I wished I had a friend to do that with.

You are not alone....

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Wharrrrrr!

 

* "Chewy, Chewy, is that you Chewy!? *

 

WHARRRRR!

 

Ha. Just kiddin'. Thought I would lighten the mood a bit with that.

 

 

Look, I'm sorta in the same boat as you and all I can pass on from my 26 years of experience is that you just need to keep doing the best you can and use all the resources you have to develop your person into the person you wish to be. That unhappiness you have there seems to be the kind of unhappiness that develops when someone isn't reaching their life-goals. Because of this, it's going to be a journey more so than any overnight fix to appease your reality. To that end, just do everything you can to start working on things. Want a girlfriend? Where are you looking for her? What are you doing to get her in your life? What kind of girlfriend are you wanting and do you think it's possible that you might need to do anything else in your life to make it more possible to eventually one day meet that girl? Etc., etc., etc...

 

Explore all avenues.

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I guess I should start off with my age, so you know I know what I'm talking about. Life is good, you just need to know where to find that goodness. I won't go into my life, because it'd be too long. But, suffice it to say, if I can find good, you can, too. Hang in there, it'll get better eventually.

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I guess I should start off with my age, so you know I know what I'm talking about. Life is good, you just need to know where to find that goodness. I won't go into my life, because it'd be too long. But, suffice it to say, if I can find good, you can, too. Hang in there, it'll get better eventually.

 

Silly me, I forgot to tell my age. I'm 47. Old enough to know better and young enough to try it again.

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Oh no, I am really sorry you feel this way. I have felt that exact same way. Everyone told me to exercise find a hobby, etc etc. The only thing that has helped me was getting some medications. I hated to admit that I had to take those, but I finally agreed it was worth a shot and it has been worth it. Although i did have to try 5 different kinds before I found one that helped. You have been through a lot dealing with the loss of your friend and it isnt easy. I dont make friends easily either and it makes me feel lonely, which adds to the depression. Today I was at the lake with my kids and saw two ladies chatting together and I wished I had a friend to do that with.

You are not alone....

 

I agree. As much as I hate taking medication, long periods of stress and upset cause chemical imbalances in the brain (especially when combined with booze, drugs, overeating, etc), and this can trigger serious depression, or at least it did for me for a good 2-3 years. I felt so worthless, I couldn't even get away from an abusive ex when I was in a different country. I came back and got right back into a relationship with him again, and it wasn't until a combination of the right meds, drinking less, and meeting an actual great partner that I was able to get out of this state. Once out of my depression, I began to feel like I had more control over myself and my emotions than ever.

It helps A LOT to just start taking action, cutting out all the bad things in your life and stepping out of your comfort zone by making more friends, or finding even better friends in the ones you already have. In fact, one of the best motivators I had was another intelligent girl I had previously been friends with, who was also depressed. We were able to relate to each other, but more importantly hold each other accountable for our actions and have a support system for going up, rather than back down.

In terms of not being where you want in your life, you should really consider self-employment. Not only are you your own boss, but you are the only person responsible for your bank account and your own standard of success. Seriously, it's life-changing. I basically googled my way into several profitable businesses, and I have never felt so liberated. It takes a lot of dedication and hard work, but it is so much more rewarding to do things for yourself and really figure out who you are in the process.

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Feeling like a failure, mum? This i...
Feeling like a failure, mum? This is what you need to hear

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