Support needed

[nocturnes]

I broke up with my bf of 14 months last week.. we had a fight and suddenly he just said 'i think we should breakup' and i agreed.. i don't wanna breakup at all but at that moment, it seemed like the best thing to.. then he went back home and deleted me off facebook and msg me telling me to delete his email and no and said goodbye...

 

i don't understand why he did this.. when i broke up with him 6 months ago, we were still talking and he didnt ask me to delete anythin.. i've been msg-ing him begging to get back together but he didn't reply. when i call him, he just said 'i told u not to call my no and i don't want to speak to u again'.. i don't know if he's angry at me or is it really the end..

 

i've been crying a lot coz i love him so much and don't wanna break.. it's sad to think that he might be findin other girls and moving on and that he's gone forever.. i don't know how to get through this.. all my friends has been saying that 'everythin happens for a reason' and 'i will find someone better'.. but the prob now is that i only want him..

 

i been thinkin of all the good memories and good side of him.. when i think of the bad side, i wallow into self pity thinkin how can i let someone treat me this way.. i don't even know wat to do with myself.. although i don't have dreams of him, i can't sleep n eat properly.. i got some depression meds n sleeping pills.. i dont wanna take it but i'm scare that few days later i might.. trying very hard to practice self control..

[NextTime]

nocturnes, I'm sorry you're hurting. As hard as it might be, please don't try to contact him again right now. It will only harden his resolve to stay broken up and out of contact.

 

Try to keep your mind and body busy with other things whenever you feel the need to contact him. Or come here for support. Give him and youself time to gain a little perspective and calm your emotions. Hugs to you.

[LazyDaisy]

I can't offer much advice as I am going through something similar myself. I told my BF I want to break up when I don't really want to.

 

I can't eat or sleep either. I did get sleeping pills and I am taking them. They help me to get some sleep. Try taking one it might help. Depression pills will not help for broken heart. They are for depression and take weeks to kick in. I have been on them my entire life and I still get heart broken.

 

Try to give him some space. That is what I am going to do.

[nocturnes]

thanks for the support.. really needed it.. my friends r tired of hearing me going off like a broken record with the same story.. all they tell me is 'u will be ok'.. i know i'm gonna be ok in the end when i come out of it.. it's just getting through this process and phase that is so hard.. sometimes i feel like i just wanna be numb n keep asking how to unlove him.. it's so painful to breakup with someone you love so much..

 

sometimes i wish just to rewind back to the night when we broke up.. he messaged me saying he misses me n wants to see me.. so we met, laughed n talked like usual then had a fight, he broke up with me and then tell me not to msg him anymore.. how can someone be caring and loving to cold and mean within 2 hours..

 

i'm so afraid that the more space and time i'm giving him, the more he won't come back and realized live w/o me is better..

[oneslowyfz]

The best advice i can give you is let him cool off dont keep at it. if he is a smart guy and knows what he has he will come back. if not then his loss. if he is going to treat you like this and put you through this is he really worth your time?

[sunlovingme]

I can relate to you feeling like your friends think you are a broken record. Its nice to have this board to post to.....

My first love has been ignoring me and he once loved me so much. I dont see how he can be so cold.

[nocturnes]

thanks everyone for the support.. i'm back to rant again.. my friends kinda gave up on me as in they don't know wat to do with me anymore..

 

anywayz some updates.. the ex called last nite saying that he wants to meet me.. we spoke in very calm manner, no fights, no tears, no blaming no nothin.. basically just talk bout what we want n where to go from here.. he said that he's currently in between staying together n breaking up.. (to my definition, stringing me along).. he said that i'm too serious in the r/ship and that i should relax more and we should see how things progress in the next few days.. i told him that he should know what he wants, if he wants to be together then we can work on saving it.. if he doesnt want it then we just break instead of wasting time.. he's just saying he needs time to think.. we talked bout many other things as well.. somehow i knew the answers but i just want to hear it from him i supposed..

 

ok so here's my emotion and state of my mind at this moment.. usually when we end our dates, i will miss him a lot.. but now i don't feel anything.. i'm so surprised at myself that i could remain so calm and not a single tear fall when i talk to him or when he left.. now i don't even feel sorry for myself anymore.. i used to do that during the one yr in the r/ship.. i don't know if he has hurt me too much that i go numb.. or maybe i'm just shock or that i really don't have feelings for him anymore.. it's amazing that i could put my emotions aside during the talk as i'm a very emotional person..

 

i don't know if anyone could relate to this.. it's like a sudden ephiphany when i was talking to him last nite like 'wat the hell am i doing with such a loser and such a jerk'.. again, i might just feel this rite now and few days later, i will be crying again..

[sunlovingme]

I go back and forth with thinking my ex is a jerk and the next, I miss him. I think that is normal. Perhaps you are beginning to move on without realizing it. It isnt fair for him to string you along. I agree you should know what you want....

I am glad for you that he did meet with you, that is the adult thing to do. I dont think it is fair to ignore someone. It sucks. One of my exs is pursuing me and I dont give him any false hopes but I am there for him.

[nocturnes]

i kinda feel happy now.. very weird.. i always felt that the entire r/ship was i'm pushing him too hard like it's my fault.. then when i talk to him, gosh it's so clear that the entire thing was his fault from the beginning.. he leaded me on n gave me false hope right from the start..

 

i'm starting to eat again n i slept so well last nite.. he was with me the entire night and i didn't feel anythin... it's like a stranger next to me.. throughout the past yr, all my friends tell me to leave him but i kept staying coz i love him.. now lookin back, why didn't i leave earlier n stuck with this selfish loser..

 

i'm really surprised at myself.. feeling very fine n getting on with my life.. this is all weird.. only ystrday i kept telling ppl i want him back.. anywayz i believe in karma and one day he will pay for hurtin all the girls in his past including me..