Not sure of relationship and break up

[dying71]

This is kind of long and crazy, and I am not sure what is going on, but I do feel screwed over once again.

My ex wife and I split in November, and I started dating again in January. I have had zero contact with ex since split.

Well in January I started dating three women, and yes I told them I was only dating, and that we were not in a committed relationship. I also let them know that I would ask for them to be in a committed relationship, if those feelings arose within me.

 

Well shi* hit the fan. It sucks being in your late 30's, everyone has baggage. Girl number one lived accross the country. And I explicitly told her that I suck at long distance relationships, because I was scarred when my first wife cheated on me cross country. She came to visit twice, and I told her I was not ready for a serious relationship, even though she told me she loved me. We kept talking, and still talk a little, but she says I betrayed her. she was divorced with two kids.

 

Girl number 2: that really f***** me over. She left an abusive husband in December, she has two kids, one of which was from a one night stand. the X had 2 kids. Well, we were talking for a while. then we thought it would be cool to rent a house, after she had put in her divorce paperwork. I thought why not, I was kind of tired of living in an apartment anyways. Just bad luck at the apartment. Long story short, I had not been getting any sleep at all for like a month before the move in date in April. I moved her furniture, but was not moving alot of the small stuff. Most of which was the exs kids clothes and his property. I suggested her to separate all these items before the move, so as it would be less stuff to move. So I really did not touch that stuff. After all her stuff was moved in, she was calling me lazy, and I was not a good provider.... she was a witch basically, then she tells me she did not want to live or be with me, so I say okay, cause now at this time she gets into an argument with me, and says all her exes want her back. so she calls her ex husband. I move out the next day, and start working on cancelling the lease. Then she has the nerve to ask me what is she going to do to keep a roof over her kids head, I said that is what the ex if for.. He is taking you back. All during this time, I still have been talking to Girl 3.

 

It was kind of stressful, as I basically threw away a little of two grand for rent of a house, while i was still paying rent on my apartment.

 

The situation with girl 3 is what is bothering me. We have been talking since January. She said she was divorced, and here husband was in prison, and she has 3 kids. Well, she knew of the whole house deal, etc. I was really stressing, and we started talking more, and became very intimate and close. we talked about relationships, and we agreed on most everything except how a relationship would work with partners spending time together. She lives on the other side of the city, so I would like to see her 1-2 times per week permitting. So i was not rushing anything, and honestly this was the first relationship where nothing was rushed, especially sex. when we first started talking she told me about the ex and kids and everything, so no surprises, and we talked about him getting out soon.

 

Well since I moved out of the house in April, we have been talking and texting every day, until last week. The previous week she said her ex committed suicide, and was wondering how to explain it to the kids, but since they are really young, and have do not remember him it seemed like a non issue. Well last Thursday she came over after work, everything seemed normal. We talked Friday a little. Saturday was not so good, I had to call her a few time to get in touch with her. She went to a party with her sister on Saturday night, we talked after the party, and a little while she was at the party. Sunday came, I texted her good morning, no response all day, which is very odd, cause she always gets back to me on the same day. I was finally able to get in touch with her on Tuesday morning. We talked for over three hours, she said the ex was not dead, and was worried he would come after the kids. During this time she was saying she was confused, and needed time. But she say she has feelings for me, and was giving me the line about she did not want to hurt me down the road, if the ex starts acting crazy. I assured her I was not going to abandon her. She has even stated in conversations she never been in love, including her ex.

 

I am at a loss. She has not contacted me at all, I sent her a text on Wednesday. The sad part I was starting to have major feelings for her, as we got along great. I mean the previous two weekends we just chilled and took her kids to play at the park. Now she has just tossed me away for no apparent reason. I have a feeling he must be out now, and they are together. Or maybe she is really stressed as she told me she was. I dont know what to do, I miss her now.

 

What gives.

[lana111]

i dont know whats going on on her side, but i have a feeling that if she dropped off the face of the earth- that would be the best thing for you... she seems crazy!

 

i dont know what the situation/break up was bw you and your wife but i think you need to take some you time. sort out your feelings.

[amipushy]

Be relieved and move on.