Jump to content

Urgent advice needed ASAP


Cnstnt Evolutn
Asking Someone to Call You in Engli...
Asking Someone to Call You in English || ESL Conversation Practice || ESL Advice

Recommended Posts

Like within 10 minutes.

 

Broke up 4 months ago, doing NC blocked and deleted all possible contacts to ex (AIM myspace etc)

 

Now as we speak her friend is asking me what the deal is between us - which means shes probably doing recon for my ex.

 

I want to say something that isnt too forthcoming. Would i LIKE to get back...maybe, am I pining over her to do it, no... If i were to go at it again id take it slow of course.

 

But currently the situation is that she left me 4 months ago, Im NC and left it in her court (said she wanted to stay away until she could be "just friends" with me). Would i be okay with just friends?? at this point yes, After much reflection I see we arent really right for one another.

 

I want to just be straight up and say the truth - that she left me and the ball is in her court. She wanted to get away so i respected her decision and am doing just that...

 

thoughts?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Whether the friend is doing recon work or not, I think what you suggested is the best response. "I want to just be straight up and say the truth - that she left me and the ball is in her court. She wanted to get away so i respected her decision and am doing just that..."

 

This seems like the best response no matter what the friend is doing.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Whether the friend is doing recon work or not, I think what you suggested is the best response. "I want to just be straight up and say the truth - that she left me and the ball is in her court. She wanted to get away so i respected her decision and am doing just that..."

I'd be a lot more coy, something like, "I haven't heard from her, I don't know what she's up to nowadays, and I don't give it a lot of thought anymore, to be honest."

 

I wouldn't give the spy anything of substance -- not one word -- to take back to headquarters.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just turn it round on the friend and ask how SHE (the friend) is. Tell her you haven't heard from the Ex in four months but you left it that she would be in touch if she wanted, and she hasn't - but that's fine, you have realised perhaps you weren't meant to be. (Unless you're a bit less serious about that than you said on here!)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Wait a sec ... isn't this coming one day after her birthday ... a birthday that you did not acknowledge?

 

Yep. I didn acknowledge her birthday as she didn't mine 1 1/2 months ago

 

Its ridiculous. She dumped me and now it seems is trying to make it like she is the victim since I tried to move on with my life.

 

I would like to say listen, if she has something to say to me she knows my number still. I didnt exile her as she did me

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yep. I didn acknowledge her birthday as she didn't mine 1 1/2 months ago

 

Its ridiculous. She dumped me and now it seems is trying to make it like she is the victim since I tried to move on with my life.

 

I would like to say listen, if she has something to say to me she knows my number still. I didnt exile her as she did me

OK, I'll say it again, are you sure the friend was gathering intelligence? Isn't it possible she's just curious? Do you otherwise communicate with this friend? I'm still not convinced your ex is trying to play the victim, not with the information I have.

 

Beyond that, the parallels between your plight and mine are almost funny. My ex left a little more than four months ago (mid-February), my birthday was about three months ago (late March, unacknowledged), then she called me on her birthday (this past Monday), although the conversation was pointlessly indecisive.

 

The key here, for both you and I, is that we don't look at these developments as opportunities or invitations to pursue. In your case, the most you've gotten are two third-party near-misses, true? You need to see a lot better effort than that. (I mean, at least I got to hear my ex's voice.) So, yes, if she wants to talk with you, she knows where to find you.

 

Meanwhile, there's really nothing either one of us can do 'cept to stay disengaged and carry on with our lives.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

i know, Im of the mind that they often undermine the relationship of the two people...not aspire to help it.

 

And fear not, i wont let anything go to my head in this situation. Im still good and dont feel ive been set back at all. Im just going to continue to live my life, if she wants to rejoin it thats cool, she knows my #. If not thats cool too.

 

But i would def say it was an act to test the waters. She went out to dinner for her b-day with her friends (she always goes on the night of her b-day, we did it everytime when we were together) and im sure it came up. How would her friend know to ask me about it. She didnt know i blocked my ex or anything at all. It must have been a topic of conversation and you know how it goes, the person gets a friend to test the waters. I know because I've seen several others do it, including myself in the past.

 

Ill be honest it IS an assumption, so i cant be 100%, but im fairly certain. And hey, if im wrong, its no sweat off my back.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...