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Am i the bad one?


alcide

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My boyfriend cheated on me some time ago. I know because i saw him with the girl, he said to me that, this was a girl he had been seeing for 3 months. From then he started to get clost to me. Trying to make the relationship work.

 

Last night i was online, while he sat by his friend for a while speaking to him. It was after 12.am when he came and ask me to go to bed and turn off the computer.

 

I did not turn off the computer so he pulled it, attempting to read my emails, so i turn off the internet and every thing diesappeared after that had happened, he said nothing to me, up to now?

 

Should i go back to flatter him, do i have wrong. Or should i wait until he comes around.

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Sounds like he is suspicious of you and you responded by closing out of your emails.

Two wrongs here.

He wanted you to go to bed, then he became suspicious of you for carrying on with your emails.

He became aggressive, tried to look at your emails and you closed out of it so his mind is not at rest.

 

If you let him look at your emails I think he would have been okay.

There should be no privacy between each other in a relationship or it will bring up suspicion.

 

Unless you do have something to hide from your partner. . .

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I'm not sure what you are asking. He told you to turn off the computer and come to bed when you didn't want to and weren't ready? And when you would not he took the computer away from you and tried to read your emails?

 

What exactly is redeeming about this guy?

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If you let him look at your emails I think he would have been okay.

There should be no privacy between each other in a relationship or it will bring up suspicion.

Doesn't matter. I get e-mails from employers (especially confidential ones), bills, relatives that are NOT my partner's business. I do not let him look at my e-mails which he respects. I do not look at his e-mails or even text messages because I have complete trust with my partner. E-mails are addressed to the person that are sent to. If it was meant for the boyfriend to see, I'm sure the e-mail would pop in his mailbox too.

 

Yes, there is a line of privacy to respect in ALL relationships. A lot of people don't like living their lives under someone else's watch or "Big Brother."

 

Snooping/not respecting each other's personal space is wrong. Him cheating his wrong.

 

Trust is an issue here.

 

Get rid of him. No trust means no relationship. This guy has backlashed the OP and does not show good qualities of a respectful boyfriend.

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Yes, there is a line of privacy to respect in ALL relationships. A lot of people don't like living their lives under someone else's watch or "Big Brother."

 

Snooping/not respecting each other's personal space is wrong. Him cheating his wrong.

 

Trust is an issue here.

 

Get rid of him. No trust means no relationship. This guy has backlashed the OP and does not show good qualities of a respectful boyfriend.

 

For sure there is a trust issue.

But when things get really weird like desperately hiding emails or SMS messages from your partner its bound to bring up suspicion.

 

But then how aggressive he was is not.

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If you let him look at your emails I think he would have been okay.

There should be no privacy between each other in a relationship or it will bring up suspicion.

 

God that's unhealthy. Everyone has the right to privacy.

 

OP, why are you trying to please this guy? He's the cheater, he should be licking the ground you walk on to make it up.

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Sounds like he is suspicious of you and you responded by closing out of your emails.

Two wrongs here.

He wanted you to go to bed, then he became suspicious of you for carrying on with your emails.

He became aggressive, tried to look at your emails and you closed out of it so his mind is not at rest.

 

If you let him look at your emails I think he would have been okay.

There should be no privacy between each other in a relationship or it will bring up suspicion.

 

Unless you do have something to hide from your partner. . .

 

I do not have anything to hide, "what goes around comes around, some time before he wont never want me to go to his phone. so now he is feeling it.

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I'm not sure what you are asking. He told you to turn off the computer and come to bed when you didn't want to and weren't ready? And when you would not he took the computer away from you and tried to read your emails?

 

What exactly is redeeming about this guy?

 

 

Exactly the case, since i refused to let him read the mails, he got upset, and saidd nothing, up to now he hasn't call or say anything to me.

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For sure there is a trust issue.

But when things get really weird like desperately hiding emails or SMS messages from your partner its bound to bring up suspicion.

 

But then how aggressive he was is not.

 

actually, the reason why i don't allow him to see my mails is because he is a cheater, so why you want to control me and i can't tell you what to do? why, after cheating on me, i have to listen or obey you, i don't think so.

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But when things get really weird like desperately hiding emails or SMS messages from your partner its bound to bring up suspicion.

 

I didn't read anywhere that she was desperately hiding something. He's the one at fault here by violating her privacy. Snooping leads to confrontation. If some guy is snooping on my personal letters, I would of reacted the same way as the OP by turning off the computer or asked him to stay out of it. A person snooping in my business, even though I got nothing to hide, puts me in a threatening state since he:

1. doesn't trust me

2. he's controlling me by MONITORING my communication with another person other than him.

 

E-mails are a personal matter and none of his damn business if they are NOT addressed to him. He's already been caught cheating... and he wants to see if she's doing the same by snooping on her e-mails? What for? Hmmm... sounds like he's trying to get revenge for being caught in the past.

 

I think the OP knows what she needs to do. He is a boyfriend. Not your father. He shouldn't need to tell you WHEN to go to bed AND demand that he reads your e-mails.

 

This guy's behavior spells trouble. Get out while you still can.

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Now he wants me to appologise, i did and he said, " me you appologising too," what the hell, why can''t i get the hell out of the relationship, things are so one sided.

 

Honestly, what is stopping you? There's enough red flags in the relationship that are telling you to leave him. Just tell him you're done. Don't give in to his pleas or demands; you have a mind of your own and he has no right to tell you that you what to do. Him demanding you to apologize? Excuse me? Apologize on what grounds?! That you should of let him look at your personal e-mails and control your communication with other people? That's a load of garbage! He's the one at fault in the first place and caused confrontation. Is this guy for real?

 

If you live with him, move back with family or a friend who is willing to take you in immediately. His controlling behavior is very destructive and abusive. Trust me, there are men who would think twice about how they behave and treat a lady than what this guy pulls. He has no class.

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Last night he ask me to give him my pass word, for my internet, he said if i had nothing to hide, i would just hand it over asap, but if i do have spmething to hide thats why i wouldn't want him to know it. Hold there is that fair?

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You're not a bad one.

 

I'm just wondering if you are sticking around at this point, because you are angry and maybe want to punish him. Push his buttons.

 

Otherwise, what is keeping you from leaving at any time. What is keeping you there ?

 

He's bad news blues.

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I would say go back and flatten him, but that would require effort and this "person" is not even worth the effort.

Use your energy to leave and not flatten him

 

You are obviously getting something from him to allow him to behave this way

 

 

Honestly im not gettting anything from him, maybe its the way i feel about him. I sometimes think if i live him, will i regret later? And those are the things i keep thinking of.

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Honestly im not gettting anything from him, maybe its the way i feel about him. I sometimes think if i live him, will i regret later? And those are the things i keep thinking of.

 

Subconsciously you are most definitely getting something from him

That's how co-dependent relationships work

 

Trust me, in the long run, you'll regret staying, not leaving

.

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Signs she is not faithful
Signs she is not faithful

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