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left me with nothing... did i just got done up dirty?


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I was talking to this girl for about a month. We were pretty close to the point where we consider each other best friends. Then we finally made it official, she moved in with me and things didn't go so well once we became a couple. Endless arguments, and we can never seem to get along. I did everything for her, cater to her, whatever she needed, whatever she wanted I got it for her. This is coming from a guy who's been jobless for like half a year. I get my money thought. Dont ask me how. But anyways she said I smother her too much, I care too much. But I dunno I thought a girl would like a guy like that? But whatever we had our good times though. So after a month of being a couple she ended the relationship. She said she liked me more as a friend then a boyfriend. So I tried being a friend again, and oh yeah she was still living with me. I tried to show her I change after we broke up. But for some reason after she broke up it still felt like we were a couple. But anyways. As she was staying me she was using my car to go to work. One morning she crashed my car on the freeway. She called me saying sorry about my car. I told her everything is okay you know, I was more worry about her then the car. She kept saying I'll pay you back, I'll buy you a car blah blah blah. I told her dont worry about it, you can pay me or buy a car later no rush. After the car accident, the question in my head was, "How is she going to get to work now?" So my ass hustle some money to fix her car that was sitting in my garage ever since i met her. After i fixed her car a week later she quits her job. After she quits her job I found the hard way she was leaving to Texas. I was being selfish saying I didn't want her to go, but at the same time I understand that the reason why she's going to Texas because she has a good job opportunity out there. That week I was still trying to get over that fact that she's leaving to Texas. Because I still wanted to be with her, I still care for her. But anyways I just wanted to spend as much time with her before she leaves. Next thing you know the day she was leaving, we left on bad terms. Got into a huge argument over nothing. nothing? To make things worst I got kicked out the house. Ever since she left no phone call, no txt, no nothing from her. I tried calling her twice and txting her, didnt wanna be a bug a boo. So the way things are going, she's not going to pay me back. But for some reason I sit here as days go by hoping she would still call me. Its been 3 weeks already. I am moving on, i'm not sitting here moping. Still trying to get over it. I'm still doing my thing. I'm trying to get back on my own 2 feet. Its hard, with no car, got good friends that would let me stay at there house. So yeah, did i just got done up dirty? Thank you for taking your time reading my story. Sorry if i misspell some words or some of the sentence don't make sense. >_

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Well, ever heard of "We teach people how to treat us"? This is a very good example. You loved her the only way you know how, it didnt work for her because shefelt smothered (nothing wrong with her communicating that). I must also add that she was honest about being friends. It was therefore up to you to decide do I tell her I cant be friends or do I stay friends with her. You decided on the latter, with an agenda if I may add. An agenda to in her back (nothing wrong with that)You therefore continued giving to her, with this agenda. Again, nothing wrong with that as long as you accepted the fact that your endeavours to get her back might not work out.

 

Think about it, you would have been fine with her not fixing your car had she stayed with you as your girlfriend. However, now that she's gone, you realise that your plans to keep her by giving her everything did not work, that is why you feel cheated.

 

If you really look at it objectively, you cheated yourself by giving to someone who clearly did not appreciate your giving. Further you told her you were fine with her lack of appreciation by continuing giving when she did not appreciate it the first time, thus communicating to her in a way that you are fine with giving and getting nothing in return.

 

This may sound harsh, but no its not!! I'm just opening your eyes to your worst enemy, you!

 

What she did was take advantage you, because you made it easy for her to do so. Not a kind of person I would want in my life. I would move on and find someone who is worth giving to.

 

Just something to think about...

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metafisics - thank you for your post. you got me understanding more of what i did and did wrong. i know in my next relatioinship, that i will not tend to give my heart out to a girl i really care about in the beginning of a relationship. but i seem to do so. something i gotta learn not to do.

 

about suing her and taking her to court. whats done is done. lesson learn.

there's no way im getting any money from her. when shes not picking up my phone calls. i gave up calling her. so like i said, whats done is done, now i know how she really is.

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i know in my next relatioinship, that i will not tend to give my heart out to a girl i really care about in the beginning of a relationship. but i seem to do so. something i gotta learn not to do.

 

about suing her and taking her to court. whats done is done. lesson learn.

.

 

Way to go Joel!! Some of us often lose the lesson! You definitely havent this time.

 

All the best in your next relationship.

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