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Chances of finding a decent guy.


MissMichelle

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Throughout my lifetime, I have encountered so many guys that were jerks. In most of the relationships I'm aware of, the men in the relationship cheat and are verbally or physically abusive. They always seem to be lusting after women with the "ideal" body type, and anything that doesn't fit that can't seem to satisfy them. The older guys I know, married and single, are always pervs that stare at young high school girls (I know this first hand) and they can't appreciate a body over 25 years old. Basically, most of the guys I've encountered are complete assholes that would rather cheat, watch porn, and lust after other people than pay attention the their own significant others/wives. I myself have been disrespected, lied to, and cheated on by the first guy I'd ever been with.

 

I find that I am extremely mistrustful of the male gender because of these observations and experiences. In my mind, 99.9% of the male population fits the above descriptions, be it openly or secretly.

 

Do I have a very warped view of the male gender. Am I exaggerating it in my mind because I don't know and have none seen or experienced anything better? I really hope so.

 

Lately I've been worried about my future (even though I'm only 17). I feel like I have to choose between being single, or being with a jerk who's only with me because it's the best he's gonna get, even though he'd much rather be with someone else younger and more attractive.

 

In reality, if I'm a decent looking, loyal, honest, sincere, loving, and moderately nice person (I have to work on the niceness thing more) do I have a much higher chance of finding a nice guy then I think? Or am I right in thinking that there's not much of a chance due to the lack of nice, loving males out there?

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you're generalizing quite a bit, but at your age I can't blame you since I had similar views at that age towards women. In my warped mind, I thought all women were conceited,money-hungry,stuck up,backstabbing b****es,ect., based on the girls I encountered in high school. Some girls were among the most cruel people I had ever met, or have met since...not only based on my personal experiences but in also observing how some of them treated other guys(and girls). just cruel. However, once I got to college and beyond and met some truly gold hearted,sincere beautiful women, I realized how dumb my views were.

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I have to agree with ran81. I'm 20 years old and I'd have to admit my view on dating is really rather negative.

 

-Michelle there are guys out there that will treat you right and will respect you for who you are. It's just like anything in life though, you have to go through the sweat/work to get to the goal.

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High school is probably the least sincere, most fake, single most screwed up time of a human being's life. The best advice I would give is to try not to reach generalizations or assessments about ANYTHING at that age. And I mean ANYTHING.

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Guys are like that, because thats what most women have relationships. You see for some reason, when guys are too nice, most women tend to think they are wussys. Hence these guys cant keep a woman, get stepped on, used and abused. When a man see another man cheat, abuse, and show little to no respect to a woman, and he can keep her by being an butthole. The other men learn sometimes, as the only way to have a relationship is to be a jerk.

 

And I am 38. It happened to me, and I see why guys do that now. If its the only way to keep a woman then why should he not join the club.

 

why not date a guy that women do not find attractive and will not date. for example a guy that stays home and plays Warcraft. Avoid the goodlooking, bad boy that parties and talks to lots of women, and hangs out alot with the guys.

 

I can tell you this, if he is a good talker, and looks good, and lots of ladies like him, you gonna have to be perfect in his eyes or he will stray.. bottom line truth. why because he can. the gamer I seriously doubt it. Just as an example.

 

Also at your age, you are dealing with boys, which I was one.. Young, dumb, and full of cum, as the saying goes. I fortunately skipped that stage, as I grew up around much older cousins, out of those stages. They are young and most likely not ready to settle down, and probably their favorite role models do it also.

 

I was recently talking to a woman, and we were talking about weddings, etc. And we were discussing how society has brainwashed us, as you probably see on tv shows, on in person, women are all excited about their wedding, often considering it the biggest day of their life, even bigger then giving birth to a child. As men really do not care for the uproar of a wedding. We have been brainwashed to the point where Walt Disney has women looking for Prince Charming: rich, handsome, all his teeth, strong, verile, and romantic. But I asked her why does the woman not have to fit up to the standards Prince Charming fell in love with: the girl is always the most beautiful in the fairy tale..even when she is wearing rags, she usually cooks for everyone, cleans the whole house, and all the animals love her.. So now we have another double standard.

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I understand how you can have this point of view from all the males you know or have chosen to know.

 

Thing is there are males out there who are totally the opposite.

These males generally are wounded and hide or are just plain shy.

You mean wounded emotionally?

 

I have never wanted to "spread my seed". . . .

 

When I fall for someone, thats it.

I'm with them and no one else comes into mind.

No one else is better.

Thats the way it's always been with me.

When I fall for someone even their physical aspects become perfect in my eyes. There’s no one else I’d rather look at than them. That’s why it makes me a little sad when guys feel the need to stare at other women instead of appreciating what they have.

 

you're generalizing quite a bit, but at your age I can't blame you since I had similar views at that age towards women. In my warped mind, I thought all women were conceited,money-hungry,stuck up,backstabbing b****es,ect., based on the girls I encountered in high school. Some girls were among the most cruel people I had ever met, or have met since...not only based on my personal experiences but in also observing how some of them treated other guys(and girls). just cruel. However, once I got to college and beyond and met some truly gold hearted,sincere beautiful women, I realized how dumb my views were.

I hope the same will happen to me.

 

-Michelle there are guys out there that will treat you right and will respect you for who you are. It's just like anything in life though, you have to go through the sweat/work to get to the goal.

It seems like the harder you work, the less likely you are to get a good guy. In fact, all the times I really wanted a boyfriend, no one was ever interested in me. All the times I didn’t really care for one and I just let go, all of a sudden guys were interested.

 

chances= zero

Ouch.

 

Tell me, who chooses the guys you date?

I do. Which is why it’s likely I’ll end up single and alone for the rest of my life.

 

High school is probably the least sincere, most fake, single most screwed up time of a human being's life. The best advice I would give is to try not to reach generalizations or assessments about ANYTHING at that age. And I mean ANYTHING.

It’s hard not too. But I hope what you say is true. High school has been pretty sucky for me.

 

Guys are like that, because thats what most women have relationships. You see for some reason, when guys are too nice, most women tend to think they are wussys. Hence these guys cant keep a woman, get stepped on, used and abused. When a man see another man cheat, abuse, and show little to no respect to a woman, and he can keep her by being an butthole. The other men learn sometimes, as the only way to have a relationship is to be a jerk.

 

And I am 38. It happened to me, and I see why guys do that now. If its the only way to keep a woman then why should he not join the club.

 

why not date a guy that women do not find attractive and will not date. for example a guy that stays home and plays Warcraft. Avoid the goodlooking, bad boy that parties and talks to lots of women, and hangs out alot with the guys.

 

I can tell you this, if he is a good talker, and looks good, and lots of ladies like him, you gonna have to be perfect in his eyes or he will stray.. bottom line truth. why because he can. the gamer I seriously doubt it. Just as an example.

 

Also at your age, you are dealing with boys, which I was one.. Young, dumb, and full of cum, as the saying goes. I fortunately skipped that stage, as I grew up around much older cousins, out of those stages. They are young and most likely not ready to settle down, and probably their favorite role models do it also.

 

I was recently talking to a woman, and we were talking about weddings, etc. And we were discussing how society has brainwashed us, as you probably see on tv shows, on in person, women are all excited about their wedding, often considering it the biggest day of their life, even bigger then giving birth to a child. As men really do not care for the uproar of a wedding. We have been brainwashed to the point where Walt Disney has women looking for Prince Charming: rich, handsome, all his teeth, strong, verile, and romantic. But I asked her why does the woman not have to fit up to the standards Prince Charming fell in love with: the girl is always the most beautiful in the fairy tale..even when she is wearing rags, she usually cooks for everyone, cleans the whole house, and all the animals love her.. So now we have another double standard.

I have to say I kind of lost you in the last part, but I see what you mean.

 

I’m not one to go for the pretty boy types. I don’t like guys that are too social either, because that would contradict my own personality.

 

I have a fetish for guys who know how to build a computer. But I guess that’s a another thread….

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I'm in highschool also...

 

From what I've seen so far in my sophmore and freshman year, I've thought to myself so many numerous times,

 

"Are these people actually people?"

 

High school is possibly the most emotionally unstable time period of a person's life. So what you see is probably true.

 

But honestly speaking, although a good 99% of boys are perverted and 80% of conversations include girl/boy parts, Many boys are actually really pure hearted. They are attracted to good body. But a personality and all those good attributes, are EXTREMELY HARD TO FIND IN A HIGH SCHOOL GIRL NOWADAYS. So if a boy does find a girl like that, its really hard to "hit and run". They "hit," and are permanently stuck.

 

Trust me though, that above paragraph is EXACTLY what it means.

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MissMichelle in many ways I understand why you view guys the way you do. I personally know guys the would add even MORE to your view on guys! (I've learned actually how steer clear of these guys so I won't be affiliated with them and not to mention they're a bad influence).

 

Now I know you might not believe me when I say there's guys that feel the exact same way you do, but about women.

 

Bitterness isn't a good thing to keep stored and sadly I'm one guy that's had very bad experiences when it comes to dating.

 

I wish I would've known this while "in" high school (I'm at a community college now). But basically in high school everyone is still forming and finding themselves. So in that sense alone a teenager can change drastically from year to year as he or she decides on what to accept or what not too.

 

This is mainly why I believe "serious" relationships hardly ever work through high school. Oh sure I've heard of some actual high school sweet hearts getting married later on but normally the two split off as each of them grow and change.

 

I'd highly suggest just forgetting dating in high school and if you do, don't expect it to be very amazing or serious. My cousin was dating a guy in high school and the next time I saw her and asked how things were going with her boyfriend she told me they had already split up. They lasted about 2 months.

 

Honestly don't put too much heart and stress into it and just basically skip the guys for now, aim for a good education.

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