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Ok, so everyone should read this book!!


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Well, not like I am going to tell you what to do or anything but - D A N G !!


I have been reading it and feel like my recovery and life issues are in fast forward.


"Fear of Intimacy," by Robert Firestone.


It is not a fast read, or a popular self-help kind of book. It is thoughtful, kind of academic but really, also very readable. It made me cry at first, and for a while, because I saw myself in it and I felt so sad at the things I have been doing in my life to avoid intimacy - and I didn't even really understand why.


He also talks about the fantasy bond, and how that can impact our adult relationships. Hmmm ...


Anyway, I have had some excellent therapy and many years in al-anon and some good time working on myself, but this book is just awesome for dealing with relationships - and ourselves. Awesome!!


I have learned so much in the last few weeks here on ENA, I wanted to pass this on if it can be helpful to others on the journey.

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Ok, so I guess I am the only one with any issues around intimacy? I suppose that's true.


I just wanted to say that this is a great book about how we (all) have defenses and insecurities and that they come out in our intimate relationships. I have been trying to learn from my last relationship and to be honest, I got tired of looking at him and thinking about him. It's me that matters.


It's a very thought provoking book and gets at the heart of how and why we develop these fantasy bonds and defenses, what they do to your relationships and also what we can do about them.

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Thanks for the tip. I will try to pick it up.


I highly recommend "The Passion Trap - Where is Your Relationship going". This book was GREAT. It is also published under "The Passion Paradox". VERY insightful and illuminating into relationship dynamics.

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Thanks for the recommendation. Sounds like just the kind of book I should be reading as well. Always thought it was my ex that had intimacy issues but I realized as someone else said on this site... we tend to find people as relationship challenged as we are..... huge eyeopener after the relationship ended that I have my own intimacy issues, though his looked different than mine.


To add to your library... check out: When Love meets Fear by David Richo.


All the best....

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Why was this thread sent to the Books Forum? It is not a general read book, but one that is applicable to the breakup/dating crowd.


I certainly don't think it will get much viewing in a forum where there is hardly any general activity. That is why I posted it in the "Healing After Breakup" forum, for people who are healing after a breakup.


Why was thie thread moved to the basement, instead of being kept where it could be useful to other readers?

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it's a book i have wanted to read for some time High Road, so thanks for the recommendation.


I will second the recommendation of twomonks for 'When Love Meets Fear' by David Richo. Another book good book that deals with fear and how it impacts on our ability to be intimate and experience giving and receiving love

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