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Dont know what to do. Confused. Want to get it all out


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Hey guys my name is Greg, I am 20 years old and my girlfriend of almost 3 years broke up with me today... her biggest reason was that "something is missing" in our relationship and she has been feeling this way for a long time now but didnt want to bring it up..

 

I am completely devastated, I feel so empty.. I have no idea what to do as I am completely lost in every way possible.. everything makes me think of her, i am still madly in love with her but i know that this will not work anymore.

 

Ive never had a breakup before as this was my first real relationship...

 

Can anyone give me any tips on what i can do to make this better.. or to pass the time?

 

also she still wants to remain friends.

 

 

-Greg

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Well its going to take time and space. You probably shouldnt be speaking to her either. Both of you need time to process things. Get involved with new things and things that you like to do. My fiance, 6 years together, 8 years of friendship broke up with me a little over a month ago because he doesnt love me anymore and it hasnt been the same. I have not spoken to him since because it is too painful and I dont want to look desperate. If I beg and plead it will only drive him further away. There are also plenty of posts on hear that will help. Just keep busy. Ive been hiking every weekend. I know that it is very painful. Some people give good advice on here.

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I wouldn't remain friends with her. It's going to be too painful for you, and if she follows the typical pattern, she's gonna start sending you mixed messages. You might end up in the sack together again, which would be bad for your healing.

 

When they say "I still wanna be friends" it means, I want the benefits of being with you, but w/out a commitment.

 

Go NC. This sounds like just some weird angst on her part that she might get over, were she given time and space away from you to miss you.

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also she still wants to remain friends.

 

Nope... no can do! You cannot be friends with someone you have such strong feelings for, simple as that! If you are confused right now, at least know this as its the answer to moving forward!

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You cannot be friends with someone you have such strong feelings for, simple as that! If you are confused right now, at least know this as its the answer to moving forward!

 

This probably is the right thing to do, it feels like this will make it better if I stop seeing her.. but it is just so hard I am still madly in love with her, I dont understand how i can let go, it just feels impossible

 

-Greg

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you cant just decide to let it all go, if only it were that simple! The only thing you can do is get yourself on the road to recovery by removing the source of your pain from your life, as in her. You dont need to just disappear, you can tell her why you are doing it, but dont sound needy or self pitying, make sure you appear to respect yourself and your feelings. As this is all about you now! What she can offer you right now will not help things get better...

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i would not be friends with her. at least, not until you are 130% over her. (meaning, if you heard she had a new boyfriend, you would feel happy for her, not jealous)

 

i'm sorry about the breakup. i think it just means that there is a better match out there for you.

 

throw yourself into your hobbies and friends. learn a new language, get to the gym, go travel, go have fun.

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I have this horrible feeling that after this, I will never be able to get into a relationship again.. This was my first serious girlfriend, and it just feels like i will never be able to start up again

 

it is a very weird feeling, thinking about those cheesy poems i wrote her in the first few months, but it all comes down to thinking that i will never be able to even come close to doing something like that once more... this may sounds dumb but i guess i could say i feel like im all used up

 

-Greg

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you will love again. trust me. we all feel that way after a breakup, that there is no one else out there. but you grieve, you heal, some months go by, and you notice that new intern working in the office is really attractive.....

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you will love again. trust me. we all feel that way after a breakup, that there is no one else out there. but you grieve, you heal, some months go by, and you notice that new intern working in the office is really attractive.....

 

I really hope you are right.. and I thank you for this post. 2nd day close to being over now and I haven't had any appetite all day until about 5pm when i just decided i have to eat, now i feel sick and crappy and im not sure which one is which anymore..

 

one thing that pisses me off, and its just like in the movies. When you turn on the radio in the car and every single decent station has something on about love - or something along the lines of "I cant forget about you" - I just ended up changing to a channel that had french rap on... way better immediately since i couldn't understand what the song was about

 

Also.. what should I do about all the stuff she gave me that i have in my drawer? I thought about putting it in a garbage bag and throwing it out or burning or something.. but i dont know i think that just taking it all out will make me cry, anyone have any tip..

 

-Greg

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Hi Greg, sorry for your pain.

You're still a young guy and have LOTS of life and love ahead of you.

When you're in pain like you are now, it seems like nothing will ever be ok. But it will!

 

Being with someone for 3 yrs at such a young age is hard because people grow and change so much.

 

Now is the time to find out who you are without a partner. Be with the boys, work out etc.

 

hugs

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take all that stuff and put it in a box in your garage, or the back of your closet. one day, it will bring you fond memories. just not right now. i wouldn't burn it.

 

hang in there greg, you will be ok again one day. believe me!

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