amiami19 Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 Help Please. Please, no rude comments, I know every relationship has it's trouble but I am not going to leave him because we're not perfect. 1. Have a boyfriend whom I love. 2. He and I live in 2 different countries because of school. 3. I came to the country he is in to visit my family, but also to spend time with him. 4. I've been here a month and we have only seen eachother once and that was not even for an hour. 5. He says he's busy at work and I know he is, he has a demanding job. 6. When we saw eachother, all he could do is ask me when we were going to see eachother again, and he was polite and sweet, and nice to me. Everything was great. 7. From some of my eariler posts it is obvious that we have been having some problems but they are now resolved. 8. From my point of view, everything was fine and I was going to suck it up 2 more weeks when he got his vaction time from work, but he doesn't respond to my messages, I called him once and we talked and everything was fine. So, I am crying right now because I feel so sad, I believe that there is something wrong, if he wanted to see me, he would and he could. If not that, at least he could respond to my messages and call me once in awhile, but he doesn't. But when I call, he's so happy. I don't understand anything anymore. I love him and I want to be in this relationship seriously, but when he acts like this I feel like I am so alone and I have nobody. It's making me depressed. I can't go out because I only have guys friends here, the girls here don't like me, and I choose not to talk to my guy friends because I have my boyfriend and I don't want him to worry about who I got out with. But I CANNOT sit in this house ANYMORE. I want to see him and I want to go out. I want to be with him, but I don't understand why he won't? Reasons this could be: I heard a RUMOR and this just a RUMOR, that his family doesn't approve of our relationship because they are scared that we might fall in love and he might move accross the world to be with me, and they don't want to "loose" their son. I'm going to call him when he gets off work which is in 4 or 5 hours and I am going to confront him because he goes online and I am sure he talks to other people and repsonds to other messages but he won't to mine, and he won't see me and I know he could if he wanted too!!!! I need help, I want answers but I don't know what to say to get them. I don't want to attack him and make him defensive, which is usually what I do because I am that type of person, so what should I say, how should I go about talking to him about this problem? Thank you for any advice! Link to comment
HealingHandsWarmHeart Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 go out with your friends... guys or girls.... stop trying to contact him- enjoy your visit with your family. What he is doing is wrong- if has a problem or is upset about something he should care enough about you and your feelings to fill you in. He is not treating you right. Live your life- go out with your friends- and see what happens when his vacation starts.... but don't give up your friends for him- you need friends guys or girls. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 I agree with Healing...start living your life and if that means going out with your guy friends then do it. Your bf is blowing you off with no explanation...time to walk away and live your life. There is no excuse for his behaviour except that he is being an incredible jerk. Don't wait for him...don't contact him anymore...his silence and absence speak volumes...and if he dares try to turn this around on you and blame you once he knows you are out with male friends, tell him to get stuffed because he didn't treat you right. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 I agree with both of the previous posters. You go out and do your thing, ignore him, dont contact him, if he wants you he can come to you. And if he doesnt, then good riddance. stay strong! Link to comment
metrogirl Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 When I read this the first thing that came to mind is he probably has a girlfriend or wife tucked away somewhere. Link to comment
HealingHandsWarmHeart Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 When I read this the first thing that came to mind is he probably has a girlfriend or wife tucked away somewhere. that didn't even cross my mind...but you may be right- although i'd rather not assume- but his behavior is odd. Have you been to his house ever? have you met anyone from his life- family friends coworkers? Link to comment
annie24 Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 go out with your friends... guys or girls.... stop trying to contact him- enjoy your visit with your family. What he is doing is wrong- if has a problem or is upset about something he should care enough about you and your feelings to fill you in. He is not treating you right. Live your life- go out with your friends- and see what happens when his vacation starts.... but don't give up your friends for him- you need friends guys or girls. yes, i totally agree. i see that you have given up a lot for him.... but he doesn't seem to be doing the same for you. perhaps he is taking you for granted. i don't know - pulling back, doing your own thing, hanging out with new friends.... might be enough to capture his attention again. Link to comment
amiami19 Posted June 17, 2009 Author Share Posted June 17, 2009 no he doesnt have gf or wife. im 100% sure of it. i still want to call him and have a either yea i want to be with u or no i dont answer i cant have this like..pending..i cant live my life like that. i love him Link to comment
annie24 Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 how old are you two? have you discussed living in the same country? Link to comment
penelope13 Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 You are in an LDR, you make the effort to travel to see him, yet he doesn't make the effort to spend every single spar second with you? - there is something fishy going on, for sure. Enjoy the time with your family and friends, but at the next opportunity I would confront him directly why he is not making more time for you Link to comment
amiami19 Posted June 17, 2009 Author Share Posted June 17, 2009 im 20 hes 27. yes we talked about getting married and everything. the talk about who would move where wasnt disscussed. Link to comment
amiami19 Posted June 17, 2009 Author Share Posted June 17, 2009 ps i called him today and confronted him. he said everything was fine and that if he didnt want to be with me he woulnt and if he didnt want talk to me he wouldnt pick up the phone and says i have a messed up way of thinking. etc Link to comment
annie24 Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 yeah, maybe ask him what's up. afterall, now that you are in his country, why isn't he making more of an effort to hang out with you? Link to comment
amiami19 Posted June 17, 2009 Author Share Posted June 17, 2009 I don't know...that's the thing. I mean.....why wouldn't a normal reasonable person just say hey this isn't working out or this happened so i cant see u or i dont want to see u or whatever... i just dont understand his websites state he is in a relationship...but i swear sometimes its like we're not. im going to call him again tomorrow and ask when he planning on seening me again and if not to tell him im leaving. i miss my family Link to comment
Lamour detruit Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 Him not seeing you while you are there says all that needs to be said. He seems to simply not be as interested as he said he was. I know for damn sure if I were there visiting my lady, I would be with her as much as physically possible. Parents approval or not, I would find a way. He did not, and it is clear you need to find someone who is with you as much as you deserve. Link to comment
penelope13 Posted June 18, 2009 Share Posted June 18, 2009 did you ask if, if e.th was fine, or did you point blank ask him: 'why are you not making more efforts to spend time with me'? Link to comment
amiami19 Posted June 18, 2009 Author Share Posted June 18, 2009 yeah i get why some of u are saying he's not interested in me but i know for sure because i know him....that he would tell me so. something is wrong and im trying to figure it out but no i didnt point blank ask him why hes not making an effort to spend time with ...maybe i will... Link to comment
penelope13 Posted June 18, 2009 Share Posted June 18, 2009 you should ask him directly. and as much as we all want to believe that we know our partners inside out, it happens too often that we CAN'T read their minds, regardless if everything is alright or not. I can't come up with a single acceptable reason why he should not be making every effort to be/ talk to you, when you are in an LDR and you are finally in his country, despite hours at work or his family Link to comment
annie24 Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 i agree, time to ask him directly what's up. Link to comment
amiami19 Posted June 19, 2009 Author Share Posted June 19, 2009 Okay, I am going too. I'll let you all know what he said. Thank you for the advice. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.