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This is the last thing I needed!!!


Brig
Dealing with a Breakup Motivation
Dealing with a Breakup Motivation

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Great, so my ex fiance just broke NC with me and it's the last thing I need right now. She does this sh** every time.. She misses me, slowly and gradually initiates contact with me then gradually takes the ball and runs with it.. Then when my hard wall finally gets worn down and I break and reciprocate with her and we start making arrangements to get back together, she backs out in the end. We've done this same song and dance several times. But I don't know what else I can do.. I changed my number, deleted her off my MSN, disconnected her cell phone that was on my plan, but I can't make it impossible for her to contact me. I'm not over her and I've been taking long hard slow steps to get over her and now it's all going to get derailed.. Nothing I can do to change it, it's already happened.. I'm already slipping back into my old hopefull ways even though I know nothing is going to work with us.. I'm paying closer attention to my phone. I'm waiting for the next text. I'm anxious..it sucks.. I'm being strong to not initiate contact with her but now she's firmly planted back in my mind. God I wish things would have worked with us. I'm lonely.. blah..

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I cannot stand people who play games with other people's hearts.

 

How many times has she done this to you? Stop hitting your head on a brick wall. I will hate to read your post where it says, "She dumped me again". Hon, your to handsome, sweet, and loving for a child/brat like her.

 

Don't let this girl dangle you like a puppet and sweep the floor with your heart...she is doing this to feed her ego..that she can do you anyway she wants and you will just be a sucker, sit back and take her crap...then laugh with her friends about it behind your back...ewwwwwwwwwwww so not kewl !

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That is horrible!!! So my finace left 4 months ago after 4 YEARS and I know what you are going through. He wasn't even able to talk to me about it...he just started ignoring me and never talked to me again, we never officially broke up. So I don't know the reasons exactly but I think he wasn't ready, wants to explore, has issues to deal with...but at least he STILL IGNORES ME even so I tried to contact him and there is no false hope to get him back.

 

I would TELL her that if she still doesn't know what she wants she should just stop contacing you because every time she does you will get hurt. And if she wants you back and is sure about that she should just tell you this so that you can decide what is best for you!! It seems she doesn't understand that you don't want to be in contact with her or do you!?

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They always seem to know the right time to come back and screw with you. I read your initial post; have you met some guy friends in Utah? Maybe they can get you back in the swing of things. It sucks that anyone has to go through this, and seemly multiple times. Now I believe in 2nd and maybe 3 chances, but she has ran out of chances with you.

 

Does she get your number from your friends in Texas or something?

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Yeah, I'm curious as to how she got your number.

 

I'm in your boat, except I'm not even sure if my ex is KNOWINGLY screwing with my head, which also screws with my head. I was doing ok and then found out that she's working at a restaurant I frequent (which she knows, since we met there), and had said to everyone before that she'd NEVER go back. I don't know what the heck she's trying to do, but every time I feel I'm making progress, something sets me back.

 

But be strong. Remember the last times she messed with you like that. No more chances, and no more wishy-washiness.

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dude i know exactly what you mean. its so sad, because if your like me (which im sure you are), you ACTUALLY DO love her. so you let your heart do all the thinking, which is dumb and irrational in its fine state. she basically is feeling low right now because she has low self-esteem, and she knows that your always there to pick her up. you just have to change that. even if she contacts you just shrug it off, because as your becoming a stronger, better you, she is still stuck in the same skin, not changing at all, so of course it will never work. you just need to start thinking rationally:

 

what kind of happy ending do you see out of this? do you honestly think some fairy tale is going to happen?

 

have you ever heard of a married couple that have broken up and gotten back together several times?

 

i think this quote will help you the most:

 

"insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results"

 

i didnt mean to come off as harsh, ive just been through this, and the ex still text me haha. i just wish some one would have told me the stuff i told you. stop putting her on a pedestal. youll feel much better!

 

stay strong. man up.

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I just read your original thread and you feel, or felt, at the time of the breakup exactly how I do at this moment. Its only been a month since the breakup from my fiance. We had been together 6 years, and friends for 8. He went to law school, came back and told me he doesnt love me anymore We have not spoken to one another since then but his pictures show is he happy, which could be just show, and Ive heard from his mom that he goes out every weekend, already. Im not having the same problem of my ex trying to talk to me but your first thread struck home for me. Im ready to settle, he was the one for me. He is just younger than I am and wants to party I guess, experience life. He was my life, I hate dating, I love him. Have you been able to make progress with the dating? Im scared to get out there. I truly felt like he was my sole mate. Guess I was wrong.

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Hey Brig,

 

Do you know the tale of the frog and the scorpion?

 

Once a scorpion asked a frog to carry him on the frog's back accross the pond. The frog wanted to help but said he was afraid the scorpion would sting it and kill it half way through the trip. The scorpion swore he wouldn't -after all, he couldn't swim at all and if he poisoned the frog, he would drawn and die too. So the frog believed him and allowed the scorpion on his back, and started waddling accross the water.

 

Half way through, the scorpion stung the frog. As they both began to drawn, the frog cried out to the scorpion "why did you do this! you said you wouldn't, and now we will both die!". And the scorpion said "I couldn't help it -it's what I am".

 

What I mean is, don't ask her to take you accross anymore. It's what she is. The rest is wishful thinking. I struggled with this over a year after my bf broke up with me -the little crumbs of attention, the hints, the I Love Yous and I Miss Yous, only for him to back-track and do a 180 degree turn every single friggin time.

 

It sucks royally. It has been over a year and I am doing great, but every single time he tried he pulled me down a bit further down. I am still learning all this stuff, you know, but I can finally say now I know better.

 

Gee, I hope that made some sense...

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They always seem to know the right time to come back and screw with you. I read your initial post; have you met some guy friends in Utah? Maybe they can get you back in the swing of things. It sucks that anyone has to go through this, and seemly multiple times. Now I believe in 2nd and maybe 3 chances, but she has ran out of chances with you.

 

Does she get your number from your friends in Texas or something?

 

As far as the friends thing goes, this link details that. This isn't my ex fiance, just some girl around town here.

 

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