bekah Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 1st sorry for bad grammar im on a micro pc so typing is hard. My exbf and I had the fireworks chemistry type of love, but ultimately we had immaturity and too much bad advice (wish id known about this site) he was my first i was his second but he said it grew back-haha...well we met thru his sis...we were there for her together when she was suicidal and from then on we dated but when wed break up normally his descision id date other guys to try to forget him and feel love. i never had a new bf though i did date for a few months at the time but if my ex had come around i wouldve been his. hed come back and id feel bad. after three years of this we decided to have some space-he then said he had a gf so i decided for NC i think it was rough and all but did help he tried to contact me but then hed back off cause i stayed distant. we decided to meet up and we began to sleep together sort of dating. he had plans to go to korea to teach english i was proud of him for this as id done americorps and thought hed grow a lot. i tried to not get too close. he told me he hadnt been with anyone and wanted me to feel i could move on so he exaggerated about the person he was seeing. i was sad to know i had been with men to feel love that wasnt there when he was really missing me too. well his sister got engaged asked me to be the maid of honor. she and i r not that close as she took a toll on me but i do care about her i said yes. he left saying he wasnt into asians so he wasnt gonna meet anyone i knew that wwas stupid and racist and of course he met someone weve talked a bit but i told him i wasnt ready to b friends because it wouldnt b fair to anyone if i had feelings for him. there were several emails and he said he probably wouldnt bring her but he never replied for sure and i finally purrchased my dress. ill be seeing him in less than 2 months and im starting to think he and i should talk before the wedding but i am trying to give him space and protect myself from things i dont care to hear. i have been so sad over feeling like ive lost him for good i want to feel totally healed without him bfor id ever get with him or anyone-i finally am getting stronger withthat yet i feel worse than ever. very suicidal i cant back out now how can i face him when i want to be in his arms ud think time would heal but it has gotten worse as i think of how long this relationship is lasting and how he might really love her and how i want him to b happy and yet im so so sad about it. my heart hurts-please help Link to comment
bekah Posted June 17, 2009 Author Share Posted June 17, 2009 so i got up to check advice but it looks like maybe i am alone on this one. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 I dont think I would go, because it'll be awkward to see him. You will be ok! Link to comment
annie24 Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 hm. why did his sister choose you? does she not have a sister or cousin or female best friend? Link to comment
bekah Posted June 17, 2009 Author Share Posted June 17, 2009 we were college friends and she went through a lot i was there-i kept her alive literally-shes doing great now although like i said her neediness from before took a toll, if he and i had been on bad terms i would have respectfully declined-although she didnt ask more assumed. there are 4 bridesmaids and 4 groomsmen i felt it was too late to back out now ive ordered my dress and wonder if ive made a mistake-now im in a bad place have been for a while off and on but trying to get healthy and i cant stop thinking of this guy-to me hes beautiful, and i feel terrible that it didnt work we r both to blame. i hate that i miss him but love all of him so much i just dont understand how to stop. Link to comment
annie24 Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 i don't know - perhaps it is too late to back out now. i'd just go, and try to focus on her that day and take care of anything she needs tending to (like helping her with her dress, fetching things she forgot, etc....) and try not to think of your ex. Link to comment
bekah Posted June 17, 2009 Author Share Posted June 17, 2009 thanks thats what i was thinking i should do-even though ill be seeing him a lot cause hes in it too Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 Yeah, I agree, you need to go since you already made the commitment and it is too close to back down now. Link to comment
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