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What do you do with a girl who likes chivalry?


brahman

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yeah, what do you mean by 'undertone?'

 

 

I don't know really. I guess I was wondering if there was something like a girl who wants a pro-dominate guy who although is polite is more of a take charge type of person. I think I treat a girl right in all, I buy the dinner/movies or whatever. When I am close I open the door, but if she has for some reason walked far ahead of me I don't(usually indication she wants to get away form me, but for the most part I try to act properly. I just assume when a girl announces she wants a guy who know what chivalry is, it means she wants something else.

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It means she wants you to go put on a set of iron armor and slay the evil dragon Elvarg of Bas'frle.

 

 

No, she wants a gentleman who isn't afraid to BE a gentleman. Open doors (car too), pull out her chair, compliment her, please/thank you... basically use the manners that 90% of our society neglects.

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Depends. Is she actually traditional, or just another women with the princess attitude/entitlement mentality that wants to have her cake and eat it too? If the former, great. If that latter, no thanks. You can usually spot the latter in their 30s wondering aloud how there are no good men left. Usually it's because they're with the good women and/or they rejected them in their 20s.

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It means she expects you to treat her like a princess while you act like a serf and pay the bills.

 

lolll that's what i think of when girls say it too. and i'm a girl. sometimes, the girl doesn't really mean that though. hopefully we can't read her mind! do what you're comfortable with and see how she responds.

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Announcing it like that is sort of off putting.

 

"I like guys to open doors for me!"......okay...is that your passive aggressive way of asking me to open doors for you?

 

I wouldn't think too much of it. Were you talking about what sort of relationships you like? Or something like that? In context it could make a lot more sense.

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If a girl says she likes chivalry, is there an undertone to look for?

 

might have to just watch for signs here. she might want the guy to be dominant/take charge kinda guy.....i prefer an equal, but he's gotta be pretty tough 'cause i am!

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I don't understand why you don't ask HER what she means by that. There is no point asking us, because each of us have a different understanding because we have different life experiences. What matters is what it means to her - So why don't you ask her what she meant ?

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chivalry has nothing to do with being dominant. It means someone who is a gentleman and treats her right.

 

I like the line of thinking of gauging her behavior to see if civalry is even warranted. How does that saying go? "Only a true lady deserve a gentleman." Something to that effect. My point is that if she acts like the typical "modern woman" that still thinks she can have her cake and eat it too, then don't bother. Usually you can tell by their actions when they're of the variety of woman who deep down thinks or behaves as though, "Yay, let's have equal rights, oh, but I still expect special treatment because I have a vagina and you're the man!" Steer as far away from those types as you can.

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It means she expects you to treat her like a princess while you act like a serf and pay the bills.

 

I disagree. I'm all about chivalry, but I do not expect to be treated like a princess while he acts like a serf and pays the bills. I was just raised being taught that a man should open doors, pull out chairs, walk on the outside, offer his arm, etc. My father and older brothers all did, and still do this for me. But treating me like a princess while he acts like a serf?

 

I'm busting ass to get into law school and so I know that I'll probably be the bread winner in the relationship whenever I settle down and get married. Also, for the first few dates, yes I think he should pay. But after that, I have zero problem paying for stuff. I'll just jump in and catch the bill without a word and it's not a problem at all. I like to treat my guy to stuff (when I have one lol).

 

I think chivalry is just a matter of how people are raised. I'm very "ma'am/sir" oriented but most of the world isn't. I guess the same is true for chivalry. It's just a way of a man showing that he respects his woman.

 

As for your question, I don't think there's any secret underlying personality trait because I prefer a guy to be chivalrous. I think it's mostly just how you're brought up. I was taught that way, some girls are not. Simple as that.

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In most cases 'chivalry' is used to perpetuate inequality or to assert superiority in some way. In the modern world there is no need for a woman to have a door opened for her by a man and the original reasons for it no longer apply.

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In most cases 'chivalry' is used to perpetuate inequality or to assert superiority in some way. In the modern world there is no need for a woman to have a door opened for her by a man and the original reasons for it no longer apply.

 

So? Women walk down the isle with flowers because back in the day people smelled like crap cuz they didn't shower. That's not really an issue anymore. But people still do it. If what you say holds true, there would be no such thing as tradition. And you can find tradition in just about everything.

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So? Women walk down the isle with flowers because back in the day people smelled like crap cuz they didn't shower. That's not really an issue anymore. But people still do it. If what you say holds true, there would be no such thing as tradition. And you can find tradition in just about everything.
I have no quarrel with tradition unless it either perpetuates or installs inequalities.
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Do you have a problem with a woman being walked down the isle by her father?
No I don't, although I note that very often both parents are walking their daughter down the aisle these days. But basically it is the only role a father has at a wedding - a new tradition has the mothers of the bride and groom lighting candles but the father of the bride has no role at all at the ceremony.
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I don't understand why you don't ask HER what she means by that. There is no point asking us, because each of us have a different understanding because we have different life experiences. What matters is what it means to her - So why don't you ask her what she meant ?

 

good point. And watching and getting to know her.

 

You'll get a sense fast if she has expectations that you can't/don't want to meet for her.

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No I don't, although I note that very often both parents are walking their daughter down the aisle these days. But basically it is the only role a father has at a wedding - a new tradition has the mothers of the bride and groom lighting candles but the father of the bride has no role at all at the ceremony.

 

Not what I was getting at. A girl being walked down the isle by her father is the tradition of her being "given away," which was the sale of his daughter to the groom. If that's not "inequality" that is still a tradition that is no longer applicable but still practiced, then I'm not sure what else I can say to make my point.

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