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I've been played and I am angry


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I won't get into details, as I am really angry with myself in addition to him, but more angry with myself. For three years now I've believed his lies, even when I've caught him in small lies. I feel like an idiot. No doubt he'll call me tomorrow acting like nothing is wrong (he never calls me on his days off, nor does he ever tell me he has the day off), but all I have to do is call his work cell and if it's not on he has the day off (like today). I am sick of him telling me how all these other women want him. When I tell him this bothers me he just says I am insecure. When we go to lunch I see him look at other women.

 

I don't know whether to take the call and speak my piece (I have no proof but it's hard not to notice all the RED flags) or do I just blow him off and not answer the phone?

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But what will bother him more? If I let him know I know all of his actions don't support what he says or if I just never take another phone call from him? Thanks.

 

I'd say my piece, tell him if he can have all these other women, then go find them...wish him luck and hang up.

If he cares anything about you, he will ring back and continue to ring back until he gets a reply.

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I'd say my piece, tell him if he can have all these other women, then go find them...wish him luck and hang up.

If he cares anything about you, he will ring back and continue to ring back until he gets a reply.

 

Yeah, that is what I'll do, even though I have no "proof." I have caught him in small lies but not the big ones. However, the only time he calls me is during work hours and an occasional evening. I have no way to get a hold of him except on his work cell. I have to leave messages after five. He'll call me back from work the next day, unless of course it's a weekend and I am not seeing him and then I won't hear from him until Monday. Of course, when he does call from home or at night me the number comes up unknown. His excuse? He lives with this guy who doesn't want people calling his phone. He never calls me on a weekend he doesn't see me. He will constantly bring up a plan and then add on "oh, nothing" after he mentions it, like he has a date with another woman.

 

Enough "proof?" Yup, something smells rotten here. I will say what you said and thanks. I just want to be able to say it without coming accross as jealous as he would love that. Thanks.

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Join my little club! I was played, I was told many many lies. I believed my ex. WALK now. Once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater. Your innocent, like I was. Want to believe what YOU want. Actions speak louder then words. His actions are flakey. Words are nothing. Words do nothing. Go NC. Get away from this POS. He doesn't deserve you! The guy who is going to deserve us is not going to make you or I feel the ways they did. You know what I told my ex? I said in my LAST msg to him, "go ahead and get with any girl your want, they are all yours! Enjoy. You lost me. Live with it now. Goodbye forever you POS". Something in the lines of that. I walked with my head high, and you can too. You will be okay! Accept him for what he is. Work on you, create the life you always wanted! When you least expect it, the right guy WILL show up! Goodluck! Remember, you can't hear love, you can't see love, you can only feel love.

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Oh no, two differing opinions Anyone have a third?

 

I advised doing both, together....

 

Say your piece, then hang up!!!

 

When I said my piece to a guy of recent.....he didnt speak to me for two months!!He didnt try to contact me and I never contacted him either....

So yeah, saying your piece, does pee them off big time!!

 

However, saying your piece might not keep him away.

 

Two months later, he contacted me and nothing appears to have changed.....so Saturday night I'd told him to get stuffed, lol and hung up. He immediatley rang me back and it went ignored...he kept on ringing!

 

I think both saying your piece and ignoring their calls, pees them off big time.

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Well, he sure has hung up on me many times. Here's what I will say: I've thought about things. I notice we only talk M - F during work hours - never on a weekend I don't see you. When you call me the number comes up unknown. I have no way to reach you after hours. Anytime you ever take a day off you don't call me nor do you mention you had the day off. Since there are all these other women who want you, I'll let you have 'em. No, I'm not insecure, rather I don't want to cramp your style. Good luck and goodbye. Click. Nope, this won't work. He'll hang up on me before I even finish. I know him. So I'll just have to abbreviate and tell him I've thought about things and since there are all these other women who want him, I've decided it's best he go find them. I should be able to get that in before he hangs up on me.

 

How's that?

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Well its only my day 2 of NC. But who really cares? Why do you want a guy like that in your life? Come on your better! I'm sure my ex will be back, and when he is. I will never ever reply. Its over, and I accept. I deserve better, you too. Its hard, trust me I know. You just need to step out of your relationship and think with your logic. Not emotion. Really think about it. I have no wish for my ex to contact me, nor for me to contact him. Actions speak so much louder then words! Trust me hun! I figured out the hard and LONG way. If there is anything you will take from me, take that! I have experienced it, and trust me I said, "no he would never do that to me, no no he says he loves me.. He would never hurt me like that.. Blah".. I said it all. But it was what I wanted to believe. Words are so petty. Join NC with most of us. Don't wait for yourself to hit rock bottom. Now is your perfect walk away que. You can do it!

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Oh yes, it is time and I am ready as I can't waste anymore time on this guy. I just want to tell him since all these other women want him, have at it. Then I'll be done. Then I'll go NC. BTW, I have hit rock bottom with him. We were apart for a year and hooked up again in March. I will NOT go back to the time before, all the weekends alone, everything on his terms, his constant bragging about all the women who want him. No thanks. No more.

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Just keep it short. See I just tend to blow if somethings on my mind and I can be very harsh, lol. I didnt actually fall out with my ex over the phone, it was done by email....so I said more, than I would have managed to on phone.

 

Just say that you are sick of the way he treats you and you deserve better...wish him Good Luck in hi slife and hang up. If you mean anything at all to him, he totally wont know what has hit him and he will crap himself.

 

My ex was being clever on the phone the other night and he'd mentioned some other woman. So Id simply said 'Well get stuffed and go for it', and wished him luck! CLICK!

 

He didnt know how fast to ring back! lol........tried to say he was joking and winding me up, when I did decide to pick up

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Goodjob. If you have hit rock bottom.. This guy isn't for you and you will only hit it a thousand times more (like me) until you walk. If he calls back, don't pick up. Let him sweat for awhile and move on. I would personally never contact him again.. He is a jerk, like my ex. They deserve everything that is coming to them!

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Think I agree with Lauren....I reckon me and you both AnotherDay, should go total NC ...although Id planned on doing that anyway. Trouble is Im way too soft and feel guilty if I dont pick up the phone. I can ignore it for so long, but then i end up caving.....doh!!!!

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Have you ever been to his home? Maybe he's married, or living with another woman?

 

Just a guess.

 

That's kinda what I was thinking. Odd that she can't contact him, asides a work cell and odd he goes missing at weekends. I'd be really suspicious...

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D-lish, you really should. Trust me, I did every angle. I learned the hard way. Don't try to play for a response. No games. Really go into NC for you. If you don't, your never going to heal and he is going to hurt you so bad (my ex did it and TRUST me I never seen it coming or ever imagined it in my worst nightmares). Keeping in contact, prolongs your pain, makes you feel horrible after each contact, makes your ex comfortable and he enjoys his little life while he moves on to the next girl, it makes you loose your dignity and self respect. You need to be honest and truthful with yourself. Why do you really answer. Why do you say certain things? You probably want him to come back, or be what you want him to be. I wanted all that. The truth is, by what they have done in there actions - even if they only broke up and were the perfect guy. They are not the one. The one is not going to make you feel this way, is not going to make you feel you the emotions we feel and pour out on here. It is not easy. Hell day 2 and I am struggling... But not with contacting him.. Just with accepting all he has done to me. Come in NC. Its your road to recovery. Don't worry about what he thinks about you, because it should not matter anymore. Don't worry about the best way to word things... None of that should matter. Only YOU should matter. Once you accept that you DO deserve better, and that it is over for GOOD (harsh words, I know) you can fully start to heal and become a person you never ever knew you had in you.

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Everything you say makes sense and Im hearing you.....but our breakup wasnt his fault, it was mine. I'd spoken my mind, about something that was on my mind and called him a few choice words in the process.....he'd obviously been hurt by what I'd said and he cut me off and didnt speak for two months.

 

Like I just said in another thread.....maybe it was my place to go back to him, but I didnt. Despite the split being my fault...he was the one to return and of course, he now tries to make me feel bad, by mentioning all the crap I've put him through and he's right. Im no angel, lol!!

But he didnt return, to win me back. More like he returned to make me suffer, for what he feels I put him through...

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All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You

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