Jump to content

Long distance relationship - looking for support! :(


mgirl

Recommended Posts

To cut a long story short, my SO (significant other) moved 2,000 km suddenly, last Sunday. There are some family situations to sort out. It's only been 24 hours and already i am missing her. Agh! It was all very sudden, she applied for a transfer and within a week we were cleaning out her stuff and she was gone!

 

In some ways, it's nice to have time to myself, but in another, it takes some adjustment. Phone calling is really expensive. We are planning on visiting each other, but i don't have a car right now, so it's difficult. Also, i would like to have moved too, but my job keeps me here.

 

I think i'll have to get on to msn. It's cheaper than calling and we need to save money.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I just had to say goodbye to my Danish boyfriend yesterday at the airport as he was going back home to Copenhagen after visiting me.

 

I feel your pain I miss him like crazy, I feel really alone and I miss him being there to make me feel loved and affectionate. He's so good to me, when I am clautraphobic on the public transport he blocks anyone from shoving me. He's sweetly generous. He is the most supportive person about my depression I have ever known, he makes me laugh and we have so much fun together as best friends as well as a couple. I feel like I miss half of myself right now.

 

Something that helps me is to 1) Plan your next meeting asap, even if it's going to be several months away, when you have something certain planned it helps. This is for when you've saved enough money for a plane or transport of course.

 

2) Skype. I love it more than MSN, you can see eachother and speak like you're on the phone and it's free. I talk to my guy every night and hearing & seeing him eases it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2) Skype. I love it more than MSN, you can see eachother and speak like you're on the phone and it's free. I talk to my guy every night and hearing & seeing him eases it.

 

Thanks for your reply Unknown. I hope it gets better for you and your Danish boyfriend!

 

This morning i actually woke up feeling good and not as stressed as i usually am due largely in part to my partner's life being full of drama. I have just started to realize how much i have lost myself in this relationship and how anxious i have been feeling lately. I am not going to break it up because of it, but it's nice to get some time to reflect and gain some insight on things.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I hated saying goodbye to my partner every time he left for home. I don't how I did it.

 

Unknown is right, planning the next meeting is important. I always felt that if I could make it through the day, I'll be one day closer to being with him again.

 

And Skype is awesome.

 

We are lucky in England, our mobile phone networks allow us to ring each other for free. So we did speak a lot on the phone, and on the pc if we were on it at the same time.

 

But its good your seeing time apart positively. I hope it continues to be a postive experience. But time apart does make you appricaiate each other a LOT more.

 

My partner and I now live together, but he does go away with work for weeks on end every other month. Which i find very difficult, even after spending 2 years in long distance. But it does make me think of how I forget about the little things he does for me, and when he's home I make sure I let him know that I appricate them.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

One thing that can help is have some kind of plan not only the next time you see each other, but also the next time you will be together in preson full-time. Having a time-frame is really important and give you something to shoot for and look forward to. Definantly try to spend the holidays together, but the key thing is to have a plan.

 

Also, make sure to major on communication on a consistent basis. This will help. Talk to your SO about having time to communicate during your time apart. Make it a PRIORITY, more so then when you were together in person. Also, talk to your significant others about making sure there are no 'grey areas' during your time apart. For instance, lets say you can all you don't hear from them for awhile, because they got busy with something. I would suggest coming to some kind of agreement to try to return phone calls and txt's as soon as possible, to keep that feeling of being on solid ground and iliminating any sense of 'mystery' about the status of the relationship. Keep everything very transparent and out in the open.

 

Also, some of the cell phone carriers have 'favorities' where you get unlimited minutes. I have that on my T-mobile and is included in other cell phone packages.

 

God bless and hang in there.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks for your replies guys! You have some good strategies and good luck in your relationships too

 

Another strategy i thought of was to keep fit...

 

Anyhow, i'm liking this time to myself almost too much! I don't think i miss her too much. She isn't my soulmate, so perhaps now is the ideal time to find her (my soulmate)

 

Meh, i don't know. I'll just continue as is and see how it goes.

 

I hope she doesn't read this, she'd be really upset

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...