Jump to content

He Doesn't Want To Take Me On Dates?


dreamheart

Recommended Posts

So i've been going out with this guy i met through a friend, he is 16 i am 18 and he refuses to go to movies or out to eat or anything. he says he doesnt like movies.

 

i made a date with him to go see The Hangover together last weekend but he stood me up and said he couldnt make it, so i had to watch the movie by myself (still hillarious btw). But he texted me afterwards and said he was stuck at walmart so to pick him up there which i did, and he said he couldnt make it cause he didnt have a ride and couldnt pay and i was like "i paid for my own ticket anyway i could have paid for yours its ok i dont care."

 

we hung out at a park at night and had a pretty good time but we ended up making out (This is the first time ive ever made out with someone). I enjoyed it but i also felt unclean, afraid i would regret it but strangely i haven't.

 

since then he took me on a date to walmart and we hung out then and it was ok, then recently we went to a park again and talked listened to music and ended up making out again, he knows im a virgin and i dont want to go any furtuer but while we were kissing he stopped in the middle and i asked why and he said because he had an erection, and then said it was getting late and time to go (idk if this is a good thing or bad thing?)

 

i asked him why cant we ever go on a tradional date, ill pay for it, it's ok. and he said "wow you want dinner and a movie you must want like a perfect guy."

 

is wanting a date really wanting a perfect guy?

 

I just said I want us to do something more romantic and he said "im not really a romantic person" and he said us not going on tradional dates is "our thing" and that he never went on dates with previous girlfriends, but they were also different than me and wanted him to do stupid * * * * like get involved in mischeif.

 

so idk what do i do about this? this is my first real dating experience and i don't want to regret it but its also like my first dating experience doesnt really involve dates.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sounds like you guys are different people and personalities and want different things... if he doesnt wanna take you on a date its his lose... dont sweat it and just move on with your life... there will be plenty of guys that will ask you out on dates you wanna go on...

 

its pretty much imposible to change a guy and his way... if he doesnt understand why its important to take you out and treat you nice... he still needs to learn, he is 18 and prob doesnt have much experince

 

at 18 he is horny and prob doesnt want to invest time... just move on and find a guy that will treat you in all the right ways.. even at 16 or 18 there are guys like you want...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Dates dont have to be a traditional movie and dinner. It sounds like he maybe insecure about his financial status in taking you out and spending money.

 

In the start of a relationship things tend to be very sweet and kind and caring. If you are a romantic person and he is not, then that may say something about the inevitable longevity of this relationship. If this is not the kind of relationship you want to be in, stop now while its still early.

 

All the best,

owb

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sounds like you guys are different people and personalities and want different things... if he doesnt wanna take you on a date its his lose... dont sweat it and just move on with your life... there will be plenty of guys that will ask you out on dates you wanna go on...

 

its pretty much imposible to change a guy and his way... if he doesnt understand why its important to take you out and treat you nice... he really doesnt know how to treat you the way you wanna be treated...

 

hes 18 and prob just horny and wants to have sex and doesnt want to invest time... just move on and find a guy that will treat you in all the right ways..

 

hes 16

 

i cant really move on like ive been trying to find some available dudes but it is hard

Link to comment
Share on other sites

he said us not going on tradional dates is "our thing"

 

HA!

 

He means it's "his" thing.

 

First of all I agree - Hangover was an awesome movie ;-)

 

Second - this is very important because it is your first dating experience. I think you should learn right now dreamheart that how you will be treated in a relationship is completely dependent on how you allow yourself to be treated.

 

Wanting a traditional date and a bit of romance is a perfectly valid desire (just like his desire NOT to do those things is valid). You have compromised by doing some less traditional dates. Like walmart.

 

Now is he just going to point blank refused to compromise his desires a bit to satisfy yours? If so that says everything you need to know about what this relationship is going to be like. Unequal, unbalanced, him doing the taking and you doing the giving while you become increasingly insecure and your confidence and self-esteem increasingly undermined.

 

If I were you I would say to him that you've enjoyed your non-traditional dates. A dinner and a movie is what you'd like to do next. If he is completely inflexible on how he choses to spend his time and will point blank refuse doing this then you simply feel the two of you are incompatible and don't wish to take the relationship further.

 

Fancy telling you that you "must want the perfect guy". Perhaps you could explain to him exactly what the "perfect guy" looks like to you and why This guy, accompanying you to a movie and dinner, would still not fit the bill.

 

And then having nothing further to do with the nit wit.

 

You sound lovely. Don't let this guy ruin that.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

hes 16

 

i cant really move on like ive been trying to find some available dudes but it is hard

 

Just be patient. I know it's hard, but right now focus on hanging out with your girl friends, go do mani/pedicures and watch silly movies. When the time is right, a good one will come along.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

hes 16

 

i cant really move on like ive been trying to find some available dudes but it is hard

 

a little tip, when you go looking for a dudes you usally tend to find the wrong types...

 

have fun and enjoy your summer and guys will be there when your not accpecting it...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well, if he took you on a date to Walmart, then he can't be all that bad. Did he take you in the back area where they crush all the boxes? That's kind of cool.

 

eh no it was at night, we were in the toy section mostly bouncing balls and whatnot.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

a little tip, when you go looking for a dudes you usally tend to find the wrong types...

 

have fun and enjoy your summer and guys will be there when your not accpecting it...

 

well i never have a guy flat out pursue me for dating i always have to initiate it or have a friend initiate for me (thats usually how it goes), i constantly ask my friends why this is and they tell me (because theyre being nice) that the guys are too shy or whatever, but ive also had guys who seemed like they were flirting with me but it turned out they either weren't interested, trying just to get sex, or had a gf.

 

its very complicated.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

well i never have a guy flat out pursue me for dating i always have to initiate it, i constantly ask my friends why this is and they tell me (because theyre being nice) that the guys are too shy or whatever, but ive also had guys who seemed like they were flirting with me but it turned out they either weren't interested, trying just to get sex, or had a gf.

 

its very complicated.

 

I understand what your going thru..... and its okay to pursue a little... but dont go finding a guy just to have a bf..

 

wait, enjoy your friends and summer, and when a guy shows the right signs he is intrested sincerely, then its okay to pursue a little more...

 

and i understand how fun it is to have a bf or gf during summer time... but think of it this way if you pursue the wrong guy, and end up with him when the right guy comes along you will miss him....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Alright, I'm sure that you are getting sick of not getting any action in the romance department by the time you're 18, but don't lose all of your standards out of desperation... just to date "someone". This guy is NOT it!! He is 16, and at that age, a 2 year age difference in dating partners is pretty significant. You are just about college age & he is getting into the swing of high school. You are on different levels. His idea of a date is freaking Walmart!! Generally, he would be better off dating a 14 or 15 year old, and you would be better off with a 19 or 20 year old. You need to date someone closer to your mental maturity.

 

I know that you're probably sick of being single and would like to get SOME experience in the dating department. But you are going to learn all the wrong things with this guy. It is perfectly OK to go on a dinner date & see a movie. Just learning the reasonable expectations of what you can, well, reasonably expect from a dating partner... you aren't going to learn it from this guy.

 

I say do not settle for someone who flakes on you on dates. Who won't even have dinner at a restaurant with you. Who thinks going to Walmart is a date. (seriously, Walmart??) Yeah, don't expect to find your "Knight in Shining Armor" either unless you can match them equally in the perfection department, but you can definitely expect more from a partner than what he is giving. He's 16; he doesn't know what he's doing. Go for someone your own age or a year or two older and you will probably have better luck. You can afford to be a bit pickier when it comes to guys. Your better off being alone than working so hard to fit a square in a circle hole, only to be disappointed because you expected reliability out of a non-reliable person.

 

Hope that made sense. I worked all weekend on little sleep & just kind of rambling now...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

a lot of the 18-20 year old ive been near just tried to just asked for point blank sex, not even dating.

 

theres 2 18 yr old dudes i know who i like but one is dating a girl and said he'll "call me up when he is single" and the other said he is not ready to date after getting out of a relationship.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

a lot of the 18-20 year old ive been near just tried to just asked for point blank sex, not even dating.

 

theres 2 18 yr old dudes i know who i like but one is dating a girl and said he'll "call me up when he is single" and the other said he is not ready to date after getting out of a relationship.

 

Yeah, I definitely can't say that being an 18 year old male is going to guarantee that they will be a gentleman and take you on proper dates. I could laugh just thinking that, an 18 yr old boy mature??! But seriously, you will have MUCH better chances with someone your age than a 16 year old.

 

The one that will "call you when he is single"... yeah, don't ever associate with him. You can just throw that one back into the sea. The other one sounds like a better catch; he takes time before jumping into a new relationship which is definitely a good sign, if you are willing to wait for him.

 

But there have got to be more than two guys your age around. Are you going to college next fall? Guarantee you will have more luck there.

 

And for the record, there will be guys who want only sex at ANY age.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

10 Unique Date Ideas
10 Unique Date Ideas

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...