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looking for some advice

5 Signs of A Strong Friendship – ...
5 Signs of A Strong Friendship – Spotting A True Friend

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Hey everyone!


I have known this girl for about 7 months but over the past 3 months we have started hanging out together. We have gone to movies, amusement parks and bowling, and it is usually just the two of us. I would consider us to be pretty good friends as we talk to one another online daily. Recently though I have started developing feelings for her and want to be more than just friends.


I want to tell her how I feel but I am afraid it might ruin our friendship. I am just looking for some general advice on whether or I should tell her how I feel.


Also, could it be possible that she knows how I feel? I know I have not told her how I feel but I believe I have done a lot to show her how I feel.


Let me know if you need more information to help gauge the situation.



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Okay, I would advise against saying anything to her. Test the waters to see if she likes you back as more than a friend through non-verbal, physical communication. You can do this by holding her hand, putting your arm around her, kissing her on the cheek, etc. There's a good chance she likes you, since you've already been spending time alone together on dates and talking a lot, but you really won't know for sure until you make a move. Don't let this go on any further without taking some sort of action. Because if she DOES like you and you don't show her, she'll think you only like her as friend. Then she might get a boyfriend, and you'll be crushed. And if she DOESN'T like you, you'll be prolonging finding this out and your feelings for her will just get stronger. So you see, it's a win-win situation to get this resolved as soon as you can. When you test the waters, she should be able to respond back to you if she's interested in you as more than a friend. If she pulls away, respect that and take that as a signal that she's not interested.


My very first serious relationship started out the way your friendship is progressing. We were about the same ages as you and this girl. We were best friends for months, spent time alone, talked on the phone all the time, and I sensed he liked me but I was too shy to show him how I felt. He finally got up the courage to kiss me on the lips, and then we started officially dating and became exclusive soon after. But he led up to the kiss for a few weeks prior by being physically affectionate. He hugged me hello and goodbye. He sat close next to me when we were together. He looked me in the eyes a lot. The safer I felt with him, the more I let my guard down. She may just need time to trust you. Or she may just enjoy your companionship.


I hope things work out for you. Keep us posted and welcome to ENA.

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