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An unhealthy mindset


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I lost my virginity at 13 and since then have been in a series of unhealthy relationships the last being particularly abusive and violent. I am now in a relationship with the most caring and loving person and i am happier then i have ever felt, however from time to time i become extremly unstable - i can't stop crying, i feel completely detached from myself and more then anything i sometime wish i didn't exist. I feel completely and utterly worthless and despite my boyfriend and firends reassuring me that i'm not i can not free myself from that mindset.

 

More then anything i want these thoughts to stop, however i have no idea how to make them go away.

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You really can't just "make them go away". You need to figure out the root of these thoughts and then start to heal from it. It sounds like you know where they are coming from from the abuse you have experienced so far in life. You were still a child when you became sexually active, possibly to find something or get something out of sex that was missing in your life. Sometimes it is a attempt at escape also.

Being subjected to abuse for so long can have lasting affects. They just don't go away once you are no longer abused.

Is there a teen support group for abused kids in your area? It would help you tremendously to be around others that are going through the same things and are doing better. The first step is the hardest but it is well worth it. Please look for a service or group you can go to for help. This isn't something you can read a book on and figure out easily on your own.

 

Please seek help so your past doesn't have negative affects on your life and future.

 

Lost

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If you are attributing your problems to your losing your virginity at the age of 13 then that is a good place to start discussing your problems - with a professional.

 

You can make the decision to improving your mental health by seeking help. It's a difficult but vital step forward.

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Go to your local doctor, tell them about what is going on, they should refer you or direct you to someone in the mental health profession. Since you are 18, you will most likely be referred to the adult mental health services, not CAMHS(child and adolescent mental health services).

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I see you are from England. I myself am in the UK.

 

You can make an appointment and go and see your GP. You can tell your GP as much as you like, or you can tell them that you can simply be straight with them and tell them you are suffering as a result of mental health problems and feel your health would benefit enormously from a referral to a mental health professional.

 

They will probably ask the nature of your problems. You don't have to go in to details. You can simply tell them that you are frequently depressed and anxious. They may ask you to take a depressive and/or anxiety screening test - in which case you would just either answer questions directly or fill out a test paper sheet about your emotional state.

 

You will most likely be offered CBT: Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. This is a provenly effective form of therapy and can, in the long-term, give you tools to approach daily life with a more positive outlook. The sessions will be tailored for your individually and you will have a chance constantly to talk and express yourself to your therapist.

 

Under confidentiality law: Your doctor or therapist can not discuss with anyone (not even your parents) that you are attending therapy, appointments etc without your prior permission UNLESS 1. You are a danger to yourself. 2. You are a danger to other people. That's unlikely. So go to your GP in full confidence.

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Thank you, i think i will go to my GP i've been putting it off for so long, always pushing everything to the back of my mind and now it's got to the point where i can't, i really need to face up to my problems so that i can be happy. I think the longer i leave it the worse it's going to get. x x x x x

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