Graduation

[Lovingme09]

Tomorrow is graduation and it will also be NC 24. WOW almost a month...the longest we ever went without speaking.

If you read my previous post than you would know the following:

1. he left me because he was "unhappy"

2. he texted me three weeks after about how his favorite singer is in jail for life sad face...i never respond...

3.i just seen him yesterday, and we didnt speak. only stared

4.here i am now, the day before grad, and he was the person who i want to be there the most...of course besides family.

5. we were together 3 years. broke up once before

6. BAD break up

7. i miss him dearly but i feel he may not come back simply because he is not even trying...

 

Ok so what should i do..invite him?

contact him..

i doubt he contacts me....

he has alot of pride and he is stubborn...but does that justify the situation..

maybe its best we remain NC.

[bear314]

Right now is probably a difficult time for you so I am going to be honest but gentle on the things I am going to tell you. If he became unhappy with the relationship and broke up it must have been a gradual feeling that was building up over time for whatever reason. Even though he broke up I bet you my life's savings he's feeling the bite of his decision too. Since you are in NC you are not providing him the privilege of your company and security. This might not be apparent to him right away but give it time and he is more likely to swing around. Usually this takes three months or more, I mean seriously a couple of years is not going to go away just like that.

 

Right now you are in NC which is the best thing you can do. Whenever you do see him act happy, not excited to see him but in the way that you were before you met him. Do not ignore him completely though. If he contacts you say that you are busy or take you time to answer him back.

 

That is the main goal of NC for you to heal and get better. This will happen in time. Your in a fog right now so its understandable you cannot see that much in front of you but keep on moving forward. Slowly but surely take steps toward that light at the end of the tunnel. Make a goal for yourself each day and stick to it.

 

Went through the same thing recently with my graduation, and then going to my sister's graduation with my ex and her current boyfriend there. Honestly I want to kick that guy's ass for a couple of reasons but showing self-control was more important. Enjoy the day for yourself and not for anyone else. With your friends and family that have been there.

 

Here is another tip, when you smile your brain does not know the difference between how you feel and the expression of your body so if you can force a smile you might actually feel better.

[longdist]

Bear314 has some good advice. Do not invite him. Trust me; there are so many reasons that this will not benefit you in any way. Your 1-7 are not unusual. The best thing to do right now is live for yourself and try to become happy without your ex in your life. Getting over your ex is important for successful reconciliation and if you don't reconcile, then you will be in a much better place anyhow. Successful reconciliations only seem to happen when things are completely new, as if there was no previous relationship. You'll find similar advice all over this forum.

 

I repeat though, do not invite your ex. I have read this forum for awhile and can tell you that this will backfire on you, even if you think your situation is different than everyone else's.

[Brownstone322]

I finished my master's in May. Up until my breakup (January-February), my ex had been with me, emotionally supporting me, throughout the stress of working and going to school.

 

By the time of my graduation, however, she had been moved out for almost three months. What did I get from her? Nothing. Did she come to my graduation (from her own alma mater, no less)? No. A card? No. Even an e-card? No.

 

So how'd I feel at the time? Awful. Here I was commencing with 1,200 people, and, somehow I felt completely alone. Ironically, it was one of the saddest days of my life.

 

So how do I feel about it now, five weeks later? I feel fine. I'm glad I did it alone, because it made me stronger. Ceremonial stuff is way over-hyped anyway. You'll get past this too.