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I need to grow up... But my parents are there.


lmnguye4

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I know this is a bit long, but I need ears to listen and a voice to advise me, please?

 

I'm 21 years old, the youngest of the family, and am the only daughter my parents have. I have two older brothers. I'm about to go to medical school next year, and my parents are driving me more crazy everyday. Everyone says I am being sheltered. I am pretty close to my mom (although she can drive me crazy), and my dad and I are cool (but recently we haven't talked because he drives everyone crazy with is complaining).

 

I feel like they still think I'm the 10 year old they once knew. I understand they want me to be safe and they are overprotective because I'm the youngest and the only girl, but I need to experience the world and be INDEPENDENT. They won't let me drive to a city 4 hours away, or even fly there by myself. They won't allow me to move out until I'm married. Everytime I go somewhere, my mom automatically assumes she needs to come with me. Also, all they do is complain all day. They also don't know how to say "please" when they tell me to do something, they'll demand it.

 

My oldest brother, he's 26 years old, is a bum and has no job even though he has his undergraduate degree. He's dependent of my mom, is anti-social and unconfident, doesn't have any friends, never dated, has a bad temperament, sefish, and still acts like a 6 year old, literally. He has lived with my parents his whole life... and it looks like he will for the rest of his life...

 

On the other hand, my OTHER brother, 24 years old, is the opposite of him. He's independent, is currently in the Navy, he's confident, has lots of friends, a lot of girls like him, friendly, generous, and not antisocial. BUT the weird thing is, he did NOT live with parents since freshman year in high school.

 

Does my parents have a lot to do with how they turned out???? I don't want to be like my oldest brother and be a bum. They are driving me crazy...

 

How do I deal with this?? How do I get through my parents brains? They are manipulative and selfish. They need to learn how to let me go...

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OP, are you Asian?

 

I find that Asian parents can be a bit overprotective due to cultural differences, esp if one is a girl.

 

I grew up in an Asian household and found it to be quite stifling. I ended up going away to college in another state. I stayed out there for 14 years before moving back closer to my parents.

 

I am 36 now and don't live at home. When I do come home to visit or stay a bit (rarely), my mom still treats me like I am 10!

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OP, are you Asian?

 

I find that Asian parents can be a bit overprotective due to cultural differences, esp if one is a girl.

 

I grew up in an Asian household and found it to be quite stifling. I ended up going away to college in another state. I stayed out there for 14 years before moving back closer to my parents.

 

I am 36 now and don't live at home. When I do come home to visit or stay a bit (rarely), my mom still treats me like I am 10!

 

 

Hi! Thanks for the response. Yup! I am Asian and come from an Asian family. Dad is really, really old fashioned. Mom is less. I guess they wil always see us as their little son or daughter.

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Oh man, I totally understand you! I'm asian too. I'm the youngest,27 and only daughter and my parents are soooo protective. I'm engaged but my family isn't supportive like I hoped, and I'm still their little baby. Ugh. Thankfully now I am living with my fiance and his parents. Even though my parents didn't agree with it.

I myself need some good advice, but I will give you advice. Just keep on working hard, I think that is awesome you are going into med school. I wish I had the brains for that! Are you going to be living away from home during med school? Do you have a job? You can save some money and you can move out, you're an adult. I know, coming from an asian family, it's easier said than done. The best thing you can do is, just work hard, never give up and in time, your confidence will soar and you'll have the confidence to stand up to your parents and make your own life. Good luck!

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