Would you date someone’s partner?

[rosephase]

Not cheating everything is above board. The person you like just has a long term stable polyamorous (loving multiple partners) relationship. She or he has a partner that she or lives with. She or He is okay with you dating other people as well, as long as you are open and up front with anyone else that you are in a relationship and that it isn’t cheating.

 

Would you try it?

[jenny_mcs]

I can't really answer, because I'm not into polyamorous relationships, and forgive my ignorance, but isn't that how most polyamrorous relationships work- the person you are with also has other relationships?

 

Or is what makes this the exception is that the person you like is in a long-term relationship w/ someone else?

 

How have most of your relationships unfolded? Is the person you date usually single, and open to other relationships, and the fact that this person is already in a relationship new to you?

 

Sorry for all the questions, just unclear how this would be a different situation...

[rosephase]

I was mostly asking how other people feel about the idea. Not the idea of opening up a current relationship but the idea of trying a different relationship structure because the opportunity came up.

 

Some people would and some people wouldn't and I'm just interested in knowing why

[waveseer]

I'm not about to share a man with another woman, so for me the answer is no way.

[heloladies21]

I find it interesting that you post on this topic so often, given the fact that you already live this lifestyle. Other people's opnions are irrelevant. Some people are straight, some are gay, some are monogamous, some are polyamorous. How can any of us explain why we desire to live the lifestyle that we live?

 

But you only would care if you enjoy the attention all of this creates.

[bulletproof]

I've done it. It wasn't a problem for me. But I also knew that the person I was seeing wasn't a long-term option (too much younger than me), so I don't know how that would change things if he had been. He was living with his gf of five years, and she was free to date others also (and did).

 

I think polyamory can be a great thing, when done respectfully. The guy I was with taught me a lot about it and it was pretty interesting.

[rosephase]

Honestly I really am just interested. The truth is I find all types of relationships interesting. I'm not trying to get attention I just like knowing how other people think and this is a place where people feel comfortable expressing opinions so it works out.

 

I live in a fairly poly friendly place (Seattle) so I like to get a better idea of what people think outside of this particular community. The people who post on here post from all over the world, I'm not trying to stir up issues I just want to know how people feel about my lifestyle outside of the little bubble I live in.

 

But you are right it ends up looking like asking the same question every couple of months. Sorry if it bugs you but lots of new people are on all the time and tons of people don't read enotalone all day so I thought I would find new thoughts.

[confusedgirly]

One of my good friends is into open-relationships and doesnt believe in monogamy or marriage. I often wonder if she'll be like this in say 10 or 20 years time. She's 24 now. She's quite open.

 

I couldnt do it as a serious thing. If I just wanted a sex-buddy it might be alright, as long as we always used protection. I kind of look at having sex with someone who's having sex with other people, as like using someone elses toothbrush or chewing someone else's gum... it's just gross ^_^.

[Nymph]

Not cheating everything is above board. The person you like just has a long term stable polyamorous (loving multiple partners) relationship. She or he has a partner that she or lives with. She or He is okay with you dating other people as well, as long as you are open and up front with anyone else that you are in a relationship and that it isn’t cheating.

 

Would you try it?

I am interested in polyamorous relationships and have participated in the beginnings of such. I'm not really comfortable posting details about the experience. It didn't end horribly, but it didn't end well either. I would be willing to try again, under certain circumstances. I learned a lot about myself, my relationship and what I would do differently. I would be comfortable going into more detail via PM if you are interested.

[Capricorn3]

I find it interesting that you post on this topic so often, given the fact that you already live this lifestyle. Other people's opnions are irrelevant. Some people are straight, some are gay, some are monogamous, some are polyamorous. How can any of us explain why we desire to live the lifestyle that we live?

 

I was thinking the same thing. If it works for you, then it makes no difference what other people think or how they view it. Some will agree with you, some will disagree and some will be neutral. If it works for YOU, then great. For me? No thanks.

[agent1607307371]

Would you try it?

 

 

No.

 

 

I've done the open rel (physically, not multiple relationships) thing when I was younger (a bf wanted it and it turned out he couldn't handle it (lying and cheating) where I could).

 

But dating someone who already has a main partner isn't something I would be into.

[ghost69]

you know rose, you pose this question every once in a while. i sense this isn't for you anymore. i dunno.

 

it definitely isn't for me. i cannot share.

[retired1]

I find as I get older, I don't like sharing. I'm not going to condemn someone for wanting that type of relationship, but at the stage where I'm at in life, it's not for me.

 

I think for those that find the traditional confines of marriage too restrictive, yet want the stability it tends to offer, polyamorous relationships can work. But it's been my experience that those that do it eventually wind up in a monogamous relationship. They find that sharing is too stressful.

[jengh]

No, I couldn't do it. It would just be way too hard to share. I'm laid back and open to pretty much anything, but when it comes to an open relationship there's just no way.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Probably not.

 

I wouldn't want to place myself in someone's relationship (even if they are okay with it).

 

A one on one relationship I can handle. I just have to make myself and another person happy. However, with more than one other person, I have to make three people happy and one of them is a girl. I don't work to make my best friend happy, I wouldn't want to put effort into making a girlfriend happy. Not to mention, I really wouldn't want to deal with two people. Rarely do I ever like guys. I can't imagine having to like a guy and somehow get along with their significant other.

 

Not to mention, there is this whole thing of "they were together first". I would just feel like I was the third wheel all the time. And when I did have one on one time with the guy, I'd just think about the girl all the time.

 

Call me simple but I'd probably just keep away from any situation like this.

[COtuner]

I've developed crushes on guys who were taken, I think only one time did I actively make an attempt to get him to think about me. It was me being arrogant and thinking because his relationship sounded like it was in a really bad place, that it was ok to do so. I don't regret it, but at the same time, it left a bad taste in my mouth. I wouldn't recommend doing it.

[Scorpion Fury]

It's not my thing. I like monogamy.