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My ex just sent me this yesterday...


Brokenheart00

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We started to communicate again after about 3 weeks of breakup.

 

What does it mean?

 

That sounds good. Let's just look to the future, have fun, and be happy. You can reply to this e-mail now. But please don't make too many new e-mails. Just respond/reply to this one so I don't get too many different e-mails from you at once. I don't like it when I open my e-mail and find 10 of your e-mails. Also, I know this might be a lot but it's better for me if you write me longer e-mails than a lot of short ones that don't really say anything. I don't want to spend a lot of time reading nonsense and e-mails that don't say anything. Thanks.

 

But anyway, It seems like you're doing well. I am fine too. Yesterday, I hung out with my family and then friends later. I had fun with them. Let's slowly try to renew our friendship. I don't like to be mean to you. It's just that I don't want to make it hard for you. And it's also hard for me.

 

Somehow, it's just easier for me to move on and let go of everything, than to continue to be friends. I just want you to know that it has not been completely easy for me either. So hopefully, now that we're communicating again; we can talk things out and have a healthy friendship. Thanks for your understanding.

 

Please, still no facebook or yahoo yet. Thank you for respecting my wishes so far. I really appreciate it. It's good for us to meet in the middle and compromise.

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It means he's still really hurt of the break up, and might still like you a lot. So he's emotionally distancing himself from you until you two get over each other and just enjoy each other platonically.

 

Who broke up with who? How long was the relationship? Do you want him back?

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He broke up with me after a big fight. He was being really mean to me over the past 2 weeks and 1/2. I am still emotional by the way he treated me. We are starting to communicate again through emails only and trying to be friends.

 

The relationship was 2 and 1/2 years.

 

I don't think I want him back. I was hurting by him over and over again. Each time it was so cruel. He was my first boyfriend and to be honest, I am starting to go out more now and enjoy myself more. I like being single for a while and seeing others.

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"Somehow, it's just easier for me to move on and let go of everything, than to continue to be friends.... we can talk things out and have a healthy friendship."

 

Is it just me or does this sound completely contradictory?

 

"You can reply to this e-mail now. But please don't make too many new e-mails. Just respond/reply to this one so I don't get too many different e-mails from you at once. I don't like it when I open my e-mail and find 10 of your e-mails. Also, I know this might be a lot but it's better for me if you write me longer e-mails than a lot of short ones that don't really say anything. I don't want to spend a lot of time reading nonsense and e-mails that don't say anything. Thanks."

 

This would bother me as well. If someone had such a problem with my emails and called them "nonsense", Id either then send him a reeeeally looooong email, or none at all.

 

Best of luck finding someone who apreciates you. You will.

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What a complete tool. Even after breaking up its seems like he is trying to control you completely. Telling you what length and how many emails you can send him and that you can reply to this one? hahahahahahahahahaha, oh and I especially love the last part that hes not ready for facebook or yahoo. Do what suits you not him and focus on your life right now

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I sent this back.

 

Hey sorry for the previous posts. Don't mind it. I will try to write a longer email instead of a few short ones also meaningful ones.I respect your decision. You seem to be rich in poker now. I am still broke. Haha. I saw Tony Vu in my friends list and decided to join. Sorry for interrupting your game and I thought it's fine if I just sit down and play for fun since we are friends now. I am sorry and I will never do that again. You can trust my words on this one.

 

I heard from Mike that you guys talked yesterday. He is a really good guy. I am starting to understand him more as a person and he wanted me to be happy. I don't know. After going through a lot of things, I am starting to realize what is best for me and what is not. There are things that I need to let go and things that I need to keep.

 

I am doing well. I had so much fun yesterday and I couldn't even believe that I could be that happy. Sometimes when I think about things that I did for the past 2 and 1/2 weeks. I feel guilty but I am slowly letting that feeling go and I don't want to apolygize to you anymore.

 

Today, I woke up at 1 something and was on facebook/chat/poker for a while. I am being lazy and I have to get myself moving because I have a date tonight and hanging out with friends after. Today is going be a fanstatic day. I hope you have a good day as well.

 

I know this breakup is hard for both of us. But please try your best to stay positive. After all, we both are in the process of growing and at the stage where we are trying to find who we are. Let's just be friends and be happy together.

 

I wish the best for you.

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This is no reflection on you, but I hate getting several emails from the same person every day! It is tiring to say the least! I like the idea of longer emails once in awhile. Nevertheless, I think he was very rude to call your emails nonsense. Let this one be for awhile.

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Well, he is definitely trying (still) to control what communication you have between you. Personally I think your email was a little long, involved and informational - i.e. it met his demands too much.

 

I would recommend messages in future saying 'how are you? I'm great! Take care'. And that's it.

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Alright, sorry to rain on this parade... but from what I remember -- going by your previous posts -- you were far from being over your ex. You have not even gone through the full grieving process, let alone completed the full denial phase and now you're actively dating??

 

All the while you have not given yourself the time to reflect on how you held yourself in the relationship, and indeed towards him. By being physically abusive - biting - manipulative and down right too demanding and selfish. He has his faults, yes, but I think it is only fair that the posters here know the real story... as I think they've been way too harsh on misjudging your ex.

 

I seriously think you need to seek counseling... I find it somewhat disturbing that you're behaving in such a manner as to delete your original post and rallying the regulars here to your side without them knowing the full extent of the story behind this break up.

 

Own your blame and seek counseling, brokenhearted... It is the only way to better yourself and to improve your chances of being in a healthy and loving relationship.

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Okay, I know some dumpees might be againist me here, I have a feeling you are pretty young the way you have acted with the break up, he dumped you but it seems like he cares for you and it seems that he wants you back in my view...

You're already actively dating? If you truly loved him you would give him a second chance right and would not be enjoying this single life?

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Aaah, this is very true and puts a completely different perspective on things, thanks for reminding us Kahdeksan

 

If his communication is reviewed in this light it appears he is quite scared! But level headedly trying to be as nice as he can.

 

Dating? Fine, but learn those lessons brokenheart, take things very slowly and be careful as we previously advised that you don't treat this new guy the same.

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Brokenhearted, don't change into a new person, just be you without all the complications. That's who your ex fell in love with. Do away with 'those' habits by attending community support groups and professional counseling.

 

Also, if I recall correctly, you made a brief mention of not wanting your parents to know if you're to seek help... Well, my dear, there is nothing to be ashamed of, I'm sure your family will support you if you made it known to them that you wish to be more aware of yourself by seeking professional help.

 

Best of luck with your endeavors and all, in that regard!

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  • 2 weeks later...
He broke up with me after a big fight. He was being really mean to me over the past 2 weeks and 1/2. I am still emotional by the way he treated me. We are starting to communicate again through emails only and trying to be friends.

 

I am sorry, but I just now decided to look over your previous threads and came accross the one you erased, but others quoted, where you demanded his cell phone and then HIT him, on a number of occasions, BIT him and other things. Get over yourself. The way he treated you?!? How about the way you treated him???

 

Don't play this off like "He was mean to me. He treated me bad." You need to knock off the "I'm a victim, poor me" mentality and get yourself some help. Other people here may not have read your first thread and you've got them thinking HE was the bad one.

 

Normally this wouldn't get me riled up, but you're tricking GOOD people here into taking your side, and in this case, that's just wrong.

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