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What To Do If They Cheat - Do this ...
What To Do If They Cheat - Do this First

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Hi All,



I am so very helpless with the issues in my marriage and thought of posting a thread here for some advices.


I have been married exactly for a year and now 33 weeks pregnant as well. Both my husband and my self are very sensitive characters and ever since we got married we had issues. Most of the issues that we had was due to the attachement he has towards his family. Specially his mom. For every single thing he wants to run to his moms and make sure that she was okay. Initially i was very hurt and upset over this issue as i wanted him to balance things. Not to forget about his mom but to balance things etc. however, every time when i try to talk about it he gets very angry and he says that i am too possesive. So as i go along i thought fine, i will let him spend as much as time he wants with his mother by attending all her needs. There were many times which i stayed all by my self during my pregnancy as he had to take care of his mother etc.


recently i found out every single issue that we had between us, he discussed it them with his sisters and a close cousin that he has by mainly ponting out my weaknesses where as every time when i can i help his mom and do most of the things for her. This made me very upset and i spoke to him about it which he tried to be very defensive and put the balme on me saying that until i correct my self we both will be very unhappy etc and he said that his family should know the issues that we have etc. Actually these days he is out of work and peniless. I have got a very good job and an income so with that we are managing. He uses my car for all his personal stuff, and i have got another car which is given by my office. Almost every financial things, baby's needs etc i take care of and i never make him feel bad about it. Even with his mothers needs i try to be there as much as possbile.


This morning i heard he was on the phone with his mother and i asked him is everything okay. is the mother sick (she has been getting sick a lot as in for her age just minor stuff like back pains etc and in general she is a very healthy lady) for this simple qsn he got mad and once i came to the office he kept sending me many sms saying that how wrong it was for me to ask such a qsn and dont i dare talk about his mother like that etc etc... i was so very confused as to what i did.


Now my problem is, i am tired of being unhappy in this marriage and yet i dont want to go for a divorce either due to many reasons, specially cultural issues and more than that i would want my son to have his father around him. Am i the one who is wrong here? Is there anything that i could do to make things work between us?


Appreciate all of ur thoughts.

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It doesn't sound like he cares about you as a husband should care about his wife. It sounds like you are just there to serve him. He is completely disrespecting you and the privacy of your marriage. He is turning his family against you in order to keep you isolated. He is emotionally abusing you and using you as a bank account. Quite frankly I think you would be better off leaving him. He can still see his son and at least you would not have to put up with being emotionally abused and treated like a second class citizen.

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