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He doesn't want to love anyone...


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I know I have posted something similar before but I just wanted some opinions.

 

When my ex (together almost 4years) broke up with me he said "I am in love with you and I want to be with you. I am just an unhappy person and I don't want to love or be loved."

 

How can someone say they are in love with you but they don't want to love anyone right now...it doesn't make sense.

 

Can someone explain?

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Yeah, I expected as much.

 

I'll try and explain that mindset as best I can. My ex felt the same way, and she had no self-esteem, which was compounded by clinical depression.

 

She always said that. "I don't deserve you." Nothing I could say would change her mind. Then she left one day, saying the same thing yours did in different words.

 

See, to them, they really aren't worth it. They see it like they're doing you a favor by leaving you, like your life will be better if you don't have to "deal with them." It's sad, because if you're like me, you don't see it that way at all. You feel like you deserve each other.

 

But honestly, Crazyaboutdogs is right. There is nothing you can do, unfortunately. I'm doing my best to offer to be there for her, but seeing as how she's got this internet relationship going on, I sometimes feel like I'm just letting myself get walked on.

 

If you haven't already, at least get in touch with him about seeking some professional help. Self-esteem issues can cause several other problems.

 

Sorry you're having a rough time, peterson. If you need anything, feel free to PM me.

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Chewy,

 

Yes - as a matter of fact 2 weeks ago he sent me an email and all it said was "I DON'T DESERVE YOU!"

 

So what's that about?

 

It is no point trying to figure that out. I have seen lots of posts on this forum where the classic break up line was "I don't deserve you". It is just another line..it helps the dumper focus the attention on himself and show what a victim he is. The best thing you can do for yourself is agree with him and move on...don't buy into his pity fest...you have your own heartache now that you have been dumped by him..focus your attention on worrying about yourself, not on his little self-pity party. If he wants to fix himself he will..if you are that important to him he would work on his issues and not be breaking up with you.

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That is the thing..most of the stories I have seen on here where the dumper says "you are too good for me", the dumper gets involved with someone else right away. They basically dump you for someone else and throw in the "oh please pity me" lines to keep the person from feeling angry.

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I agree with Chewy and Crazyaboutdogs...this line "I don't deserve you", it's just a line. It's to make you feel sorry for them, like they're not worthy of you. Don't make assumptions on if you are or aren't worthy of me, I make my own decisions!! However it's all part of their selfish act really....they believe they are the victims now and like Crazyaboutdogs said, IF they wanted to fix themselves, they will. IF they really want to get back with you, then they will stop at nothing to get you back. The problem with alot of our exes is that they either don't know they have issues or they don't want to seek help. I've heard all the cliche lines from my ex "I don't deserve you, you deserve better blah blah blah"...

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