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am i too introverted?


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to summarize who i am (23 yo chinese male, 6 ft tall) ...



- never enjoyed clubbing, college styled parties

- love to ride my motorcycle.

- like to snowboard alone. because i can ride on my own pace and not babysit anyone else who is at a lower skill level. i do ride with a few guys and we share similar skills, it was a blast.

- learning latin and ballroom dancing

- love golden retrievers. had one when i was 11 but he got hit by a car and died in my arms. sometimes i still weep at night about it because i think it's all my fault. i'm still reluctant to adopt another retriever because i don't want to replace my old dog. he was my best friend.

- skydived a few times because sometimes i feel a little suicidal lol

- dont like to hit on girls just to get laid

- my first love, high school sweetheart was a caucasian christian girl. she was very sweet. but i was just too immature and stupid to realize what i had. eventually i pushed her away (after 3 years).

- dated a few chinese girls but i'm just not that attracted to chinese girls anymore.

- i went to boarding school in england and i became accustomed to being attracted to caucasian girls.

- i dont know if i will ever find the kind of mutual love i had with my first love.


i'm not christian but should i attend church services just hoping to meet another well mannered, well brought up christian girl? it sounds kind of shallow. ever since i broke up with my first love i've been feeling depressed. even when i was dating someone else.


i'm dating a danish born chinese girl but i dont like her habits one bit. she likes to go clubbing and etc.



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No, that's who YOU are. You shouldn't have to change who you are for someone else.


There are TONS of girls who dont like to go clubbing, etc. I dont care for it much either. Drinking once in awhile is fine, but I cant do it every weekend.


You have great hobbies and are active, I'm sure you will meet someone who will enjoy that stuff!

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I hate clubbing with a passion - that place seriously puts me so out of my element I avoid it like the plague and only go for specific occasions (e.g. a really close friend wants to hold a party there and even then I might leave early).


As for liking what you like ... well there's nothing wrong with joining a church to meet more people but you do realize the individuals at church will really question you for joining them. I've only been to chinese christian churches in Toronto as I have a few friends who are devout christians and to show them my support for their beliefs I accept their invites to the more casual events. They do like to share and discuss topics and open up etc. based around things that are being taught in the bible. I would ask if you are comfortable with that? You most likely will meet people through fellowship moreso than just attending morning service (since fellowship is when people mingle and open up about their thoughts and feelings). Instead of just joining to meet a christian girl, you should ask yourself if you're also open to the idea of exposing yourself to the religion ... and maybe you'll meet some people there.


One more thing - I'm an asian girl raised in Canada almost her whole life. I'm not religious and I hate clubbing. Why do you immediately think that christian girls will hate clubbing? I know of christians that go ...

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I don't think you are introverted at all. You sound well balanced interesting, with good friends and great hobbies. I know a couple of REALLY introverted people and they pretty much stay in their home and avoid people and socializing at all costs. You sound well balanced (imo).

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I think you sound really great but your motive of trying to replace people who've come into your life seems questionable to me. You shouldn't join a church to meet a good christian girl unless you want a good christian girl. It seems like you want to join one just b/c your ex was, like you're hanging on to her memory like you hang on to your dog's memory. I think the best thing to do is focus on why you keep a tight hold on things in the past instead of focusing on labeling yourself introvert.

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It seems like you want to join one just b/c your ex was, like you're hanging on to her memory like you hang on to your dog's memory.


WOW!!! i think you are so right. i never thought about it this way. yeah i do hang on to past memories. it is crippling me emotionally. all i can think about is the past. i dont know how to get out of it. it depresses me so the only way for me to not think about it is to ride my motorcycle in the summer and snowboard in the winter. i lack motivation to do anything else now.


when i meant good christian girl i really meant a girl who is on similar wavelength as me. but she seems impossible to find.

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I'm a believer you shouldn't join a church unless you have their beliefs or are interested in adopting those beliefs. Churches shouldn't be used to find women.


It's very possible to find someone with your same values and morals. You could meet someone in a balroom dancing class or a snowboard instructor. You never know where you can find it. But if you are not christian and are "impersonating" one to meet girls, then your morals are lessened a bit in the eyes (maybe) of the good christian girl you're looking for (does that make sense? I may not have explained it well).

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Learn English Via Listening | Beginner Level | Lesson 28 l Interests and Hobbies


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