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im so shy.. but i luv him!

Chun Li

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Okay so I like this guy at my school... and I want to know if he likes me without him suspecting anything cuz i'm really shy Well everytime he is near me i FREEZE


I'm not sure but I think he likes me but I'm not that sure. So I went to a school dance and he sees me. I walk away but I turn around and hes behind me! And I keep moving away because I get too nervous near him but he keeps walking around me... and then I stood a couple of feet behind him.. he knew i was there and kept turning around and glancing at me. I feel like he wants to be near me but I'm not sure.. Everytime I see him hes always turning around facing me! I'm shy and hes shy too and so.. I've never actually talked to him face to face before.. sometimes at the dance he dances with his friend.. (a girl.. duh) right in front of me and its horrible! ggrrr! last year at school.. everytime i looked at him .. i saw him looking at me .. and its weird.. i don't know wat to think... someone please help!

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Your prognosis: Absolutely, positively, 100 percent normal!


I think any high schooler (myself included) can relate to this kind of thing. It's maddening how shy we all get when male-female attraction comes into play! But, lo and behold, you can turn that shyness into an asset. Trust me: There's nothing worse than someone who comes on to you waaay too fast. I've done it and made a big fool out of myself in the process. Whoops!


The trick is to _partially_ beat your shyness. Get up the nerve to give him one subtle hint of your feelings for him per day. Just glance at him and raise your eyebrows a little, or crack a smile. Even better, when he walks into a room, glance up at him, then immediately pull back and straighten you collar or run a few fingers through your hair. Imagine a guy doing that for you! It'd feel amazing to know that YOU are the reason he dresses in nice clothes and plucks his unibrow every night! Then get up to saying hi. Once that's comfortable, you could ask him how his classes are or make some small talk with him. Finally, call him at home to chat about the same kinds of things. It can be a five-minute call, even. Guys love it when girls take the initiative!


Put yourself in his shoes: You've been noticing this cute girl in school. Just a face you happened to see every now and then in the hallway, or maybe in a class or two. At first she was kind of shy and couldn't help but blush if you so much as turned your head in her direction. "Cute," you think. Plus one point. Then you noticed she gradually got up the nerve to build on that. She'd actually make eye contact with you! You're definitely interested (she's quite a looker, remember?), so you go out of your way to put yourself in her line of sight. (The way you said he acts around you can only mean one thing - He's got his radar pointed at you, and it's beeping like crazy!) Finally, she called you! At home! You think to yourself, "That must've taken her a lot of effort to get from barely being able to look at me to being able to call me up at home! She must really think I'm great to be worth that kind of effort!" You even think the way her voice seemed to tremble a bit at first was charming, because you can relate to it so much yourself. Jackpot. You're on your way to seeing this incredibly cute, mysterious girl outside of school!


The gradual steps your shyness forces you to take are what guys really like (at least, the guy writing this)! Lots of people like shyness because they know there are feelings on the other end, and they like the idea that someone is really straining to put herself out in the open. Awesome!


If you want to increase your confidence, try a few basic things: Carry yourself with a tall, proud posture. It can feel unnatural or alien at first, but it becomes second nature after about a week and a half. Also, say hello to everyone from your classes, male and female, when you pass them in the halls. It will make you an army of acquaintances to practice small-talk with, which is the first commandment of flirtatiousness. Lastly, practice saying hi to non-threatening male strangers (Just say hi and compliment them on something out of the blue. Say he's got a neck like a wrestler or that his clothes show a classy fashion sense. This is what we guys love!


Well, as always, that got long quickly. Hope it helps!



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