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Some people live in a dream world where you cannot die from sex.


waveseer

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I was talking with a man recently who wanted to talk about sex (nothing new there), but when the subject of getting tested for std's came up he got all indignant. He insisted that he had no std's despite having unprotected oral sex (both ways) because he had no symptoms. Please, as if I would stake my life on someone who claims to be so in tune with his physical self that he would know if he carried hiv.

 

This is not a virgin, not a young person, just another dreamer.

 

I guess I'm glad it came up as early on as it did, no need to waste any more time talking with him.

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Yeah this is how I see it ..If he has nothing to hide then he should get tested..I never understood people like that ..I would want to know if I had something like that not just have it be a surprise one day

 

Here's the thing though, he dates around (read sleeps around). He is an std haven. I doubt he'd insist on his partners being tested, he wouldn't have a leg to stand on. It just goes from the uniformed to the unaware to the uncaring to the unwell. It's so sad.

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Oh I know exactly what you mean ..I guess he is going to have to learn the hard way . I wouldnt get caught up in that though , you never know what he could have specially since he doesnt even know. Thats such a scary thing . People not only dont care about other people enough to get tested, they dont even care about themselves obviously.

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Reminds me of smokers. That's all I have to say.

 

Smokers who only smoke out of doors are not taking other people to the grave with them, small consolation I know, but not at all on the same order of the exponential sex partner pyramid of death.

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Oh I know exactly what you mean ..I guess he is going to have to learn the hard way . I wouldnt get caught up in that though , you never know what he could have specially since he doesnt even know. Thats such a scary thing . People not only dont care about other people enough to get tested, they dont even care about themselves obviously.

 

We are still in communication, do you think there's anything I can say to help him (not to date him that's out of the question)? I really don't care if he gets angry or hurt, it's pretty important and the worst he can do is never talk with me again.

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Oh I know exactly what you mean ..I guess he is going to have to learn the hard way . I wouldnt get caught up in that though , you never know what he could have specially since he doesnt even know. Thats such a scary thing . People not only dont care about other people enough to get tested, they dont even care about themselves obviously.

It's not so much that they don't care about themselves, it's that they are afraid of potentially bad news. For some STDs, most notably herpes, ignorance can be bliss. Obviously this is not the case with HIV, since that critter will kill you if you don't treat it.

 

I think that if all STDs were curable (i.e., bacterial infections that antibacterials would eliminate), people would be much less reluctant to get tested regularly.

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I would flat out ask him why he wont get tested. It makes me wonder if he has something to hide..Maybe maybe not..I dont know him so I cant tell you what hes thinking ..but I would for sure ask why he wont get tested..might as well get right to the point

 

When we talked about it he said he doesn't feel the need to, always uses a condom (except for oral sex) and has no symptoms. I doubt he even knows what the symptoms are.

 

This is from link removed...

 

Early Symptoms of HIV

The earliest symptoms of HIV infection occur while your body begins to form antibodies to the virus (known as seroconversion) between six weeks and three months after infection with the HIV virus. Those who do show early HIV symptoms will develop flu-like symptoms. This can include: fever, rash, muscles aches and swollen lymph nodes and glands. However, for most people, the first symptoms of HIV will not be apparent.

 

Although the infection is slowly taking hold of your body, the majority of those infected with HIV will be asymptomatic. Only by being tested for HIV can you know for sure if you have been infected. Yet, despite the absence of HIV symptoms, you are still highly contagious during this time making it very much a possibility to infect others...

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It's not so much that they don't care about themselves, it's that they are afraid of potentially bad news. For some STDs, most notably herpes, ignorance can be bliss. Obviously this is not the case with HIV, since that critter will kill you if you don't treat it.

 

I think that if all STDs were curable (i.e., bacterial infections that antibacterials would eliminate), people would be much less reluctant to get tested regularly.

 

True..But it makes no sense to be like that ..it could just make things worse for you and the people you sleep with ..I think that if you even have the slightest thought that you could have an STD you shouldnt be sleeping with anybody until you know for sure that you dont

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True..But it makes no sense to be like that ..it could just make things worse for you and the people you sleep with ..I think that if you even have the slightest thought that you could have an STD you shouldnt be sleeping with anybody until you know for sure that you dont

 

Exactly. Why the heck would anyone rather fly blind? It's like saying, "I don't care if I die and I don't care if you die either."

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There is no way I could put someone else's life in jeopardy in order to experience physical intimacy, no possible way. Playing with one's own life is one thing but playing with other people's lives is criminal. You are right, they don't want to know because they might have to change their lifestyle and stop having carefree sex. It's selfishness, plain and simple. If a person knowingly passes on hiv it is considered a crime in many places. People who don't get tested cannot be prosecuted. That is rewarding irresponsible behavior and it is backfiring as we speak.

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I agree with you 100% It sounds ignorant but I really just hope people like that have to learn the hard way ..I could never do that..Ive only been with one person and I went and got tested to you be on the safe side ..you never know ..Like for instance my friend has only been with one guy , she is still with him . Well she started not feeling to great so she went to the DR. and tested positive for herpes. Her boyfriend is almost 40 and she is only 19...he has had life experiences...she hasnt..now she is stuck with that for the rest of her life ..he is too obviously but that wont stop him from leaving her and passing it on to god knows who ..makes me sick

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True..But it makes no sense to be like that ..

Depends on what you think you might have. In a thread I recently started on herpes in the Health subforum, one person expressed concern about his/her unknown herpes status. Someone with genital herpes advised them not to get tested. While I don't agree, I can understand - it won't (usually) cause the person who has it any serious harm whether they are diagnosed or not. And a positive diagnosis can be emotionally devastating. So there is arguably not much of a benefit to oneself if you get tested (unless you or your SO is pregnant). Of course, there is the huge benefit of not unknowingly passing the virus on to people you care about or even people you don't care about, but some people can't see past themselves.

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Depends on what you think you might have. In a thread I recently started on herpes in the Health subforum, one person expressed concern about his/her unknown herpes status. Someone with genital herpes advised them not to get tested. While I don't agree, I can understand - it won't (usually) cause the person who has it any serious harm whether they are diagnosed or not. And a positive diagnosis can be emotionally devastating. So there is arguably not much of a benefit to oneself if you get tested (unless you or your SO is pregnant). Of course, there is the huge benefit of not unknowingly passing the virus on to people you care about.

 

What I bolded above is the reason that many people have a strong dislike for their sexual partners. If they liked them then they'd have to care about them. If they cared about them then they'd have to be responsible when it comes to sex. I don't want to blow this all out of proportion, but now I wonder if there is a fairly substantial segment of society that intends to remain indifferent indefinitely. I mean people who have sex with people because they are physically attracted only, not to develop anything meaningful and purposefully choosing partners they would not want to be in a relationship with.

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