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How long should i wait to call after a ONS??


tr42
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met a beautiful lady last night! we hit it off big time and apparently the stars we're all aligned properly and the night went very well. I dont wanna be "stalkerish" but i wanna keep the connection going. I know girls can feel uncomfortable after ONS situations but i want to ease that situation and continue seeing her. Should i call/txt within 24hours or give it the customary 3 days???

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Scrap the ridiculous 3 day rule if you know whats good for you and send her a text the next day. Avoid calling but send the text, only one text. If she responds then youre good to continue texting and after a few ask her if its okay to call.

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well usally after ONS you dont call, but if you want to and she wants you too.. call within a day or two too see whats up and say hi....

 

lol, seriously!!! someone needs to explain to you what a ONS is!!!

 

good luck with the call!

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lol, seriously!!! someone needs to explain to you what a ONS is!!!

 

good luck with the call!

 

 

what do you mean... ????

 

he had a one night stand, most people dont call afterwards or talk, very few times it turns into fwb... or a rel if you both really want it, which i put in my post...

 

what is there to explain????

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one night stand = ONE NIGHT! aka, not for a repeat, lol.

 

didnt i put that... but OP seemed like he wanted to turn it into more so i was just trying to be helpfull how he could achevie that...

 

but yes thats how i started the post... ONS people usally dont call....lol

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If the girl has slept with you on the first date there is a good chance she likes you so if you like her than call right away!

 

 

Nooo... there's a good chance she sleeps with EVERYBODY on the first date, and was only out for booty.

 

Women who are relationship-minded aren't putting out on the first date.

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Nooo... there's a good chance she sleeps with EVERYBODY on the first date, and was only out for booty.

 

Women who are relationship-minded aren't putting out on the first date.

 

that's not true. i know some couples who had sex on the first date, then got married (to each other!!)

 

sometimes, a girl can just get swept off her feet by the guy! doesn't mean she only wants booty.

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that's not true. i know some couples who had sex on the first date, then got married (to each other!!)

 

sometimes, a girl can just get swept off her feet by the guy! doesn't mean she only wants booty.

 

I agree, you both apparently got caught up in the moment, but if you think that there was enough of a connection for possible relationship material, then give her a call and ask her on a date.

 

I disagree with texting... Texts get lost!!!! I have texted my friends, and I think about 1/4 of the time my texts don't go through. If you could bone her, I don't see why you can't call her!!!

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Here's the thing, if you want to see her again it's got to be somewhere in public unless she wants fwb only. Just call her and ask her on a proper date, or call her and ask her over for dinner (a cozier date) depending on what you want. Don't play games, man, it's too late for that.

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Nooo... there's a good chance she sleeps with EVERYBODY on the first date, and was only out for booty.

 

Women who are relationship-minded aren't putting out on the first date.

 

I completely disagree with this statement. Just because she had the connection with the OP in this particular instance does not mean that there's a good chance she sleeps with "EVERYBODY on the first date." And as others have said, several couples have started off with sleeping together really soon.

 

If we went by your mentality, than the OP would not even be interested in her (as he does seem to be) since there would also be a good chance that men "who are relationship-minded aren't putting out on the first date" either.

 

OP, just call her and ask her how she is doing. Don't text her, that is so impersonal. And see how her tone is. If she is sounding friendly and interested after a few minutes of talking, ask her out on a date and see how it goes! But dont wait for the "3 day rule." It becomes sooooo aperant when guys do that, and that they are just trying to follow the rule. If you want to talk to her now, than talk to her now. She'll like it if she is interested.

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well yea - of course i know what a ONS is. But we definitely had some things in common and similar personalitys. Trust me Im not looking for love in the bar scene but the girl was cool and definitely had my attention and interests (and not just sexually).

 

AND ON A SIDE NOTE: I recantly moved to cali and very socially active (probably go out 4 times a week atleast) and I've found that most encounters from simple conversation to exchanging numbers to sexual activity seems to be a one time and done deal for the most part. And though im not too stuck on myself to say that im not the problem I do know that Im very outgoing and engaging and - for the most part - have no problems with meeting and attracting new people. So im trying to figure is it kind of a socal thing that i need to learn or what??

 

just looking for some good insight...

 

lol...and I think i should have edited the title for this post....

 

"I want to call a ONS partner...how long should I wait??" ...yeah i think that sums it up a little bit better

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Well, if you are legitimately looking for someone to DATE, then maybe you should try NOT picking up the easy girls in bars and taking them home.

 

Women that are hanging out in bars, and then going home with guys they pick up, aren't exactly relationship material. They are not LOOKING for a relationship by going to a bar and taking home a stranger for sex. And despite what others may think, if she's doing it with you, she's doing it with others.

 

I know many on here seem to think that chicks that go to bars to meet guys for sex are the creme de la creme of the dating pool, but I'm telling you - the girl you want to bring home to Mom is probably not the one who you met while she was doing body shots off some guy, and then taking you home for sex.

 

So, I think your method is what is flawed. You are trying to turn casual sex with a total stranger into a relationship, which seldom works. Mainly because chances are high that that's not what she's looking for to begin with...

 

You need to make a more concerted effort to find quality people is all. Then your efforts won't seem so fruitless, though, at the least, you're still getting laid.

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Only if he's willing to accept the consequences, which might include losing a potential partner who isn't willing to wait as long as he wants.

 

sometimes we have to learn if you want to make a move, then do it. he needs this lesson.

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He needs to realize that a woman won't wait around forever to make up his mind. Who are you to say that he "needs to learn his lesson"?

 

That's why people come here, for advice, so they don't make mistakes that cause them further grief in their already troubled lives.

 

unfortunately, making mistakes is how we learn.

 

OP, call her up. you are feeling her right? don't waste time.

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unfortunately, making mistakes is how we learn.

 

OP, call her up. you are feeling her right? don't waste time.

 

I agree, dont waste more time OP. If YOU feel like there was more there than a ONS and that there was a true spark, then dont wait any longer and call her. You guys were intimate already so I dont know why you are questioning how long to wait to call her. The sooner you get it done the better, and then you will know what you are dealing with.

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where im from I think they call what you just said turning a ___ into a housewife (dont mean that to offend anyone out there lol) but seriously, I totally understand that i met the girl in the bar and that she went home with me the same night and that scenerio is not the "ideal" way to begin a relationship or to say "hey mom, this is how we met". But though im sexually active i havent had too many ONS. Where im from most sexually charged meetings like that turn into FWB at a minimum. So im trying to figure out (based on my new locale) shoud i call and if so how long should i wait?...

 

By no means am i desperate and I'm fairly confident that I'll be able to stay active but, as mentioned before, the attitudes matched and the sexual attraction was super high and it just seemed to be a generally good fit (no pun intended) so i figured that maybe there was more to it than just the obvious ONS situation. guess i atleast wanted to turn it into a FWB thing and go from there ya know...

 

ULTIMATELY...i did choose to send that txt yesterday. my phone showed that it was read but I got no reply lol! so i guess this ONS is exactly that Maybe ill get that late night call as a surprise one night but til then ill just have a good memory to think of!

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LOL. Gotcha!

 

I just really get where you are at. I used to do the SAME thing, back in my trampy days. I would take a guy home, and they try to manifest a relationship out of it. Which is really hard to do, because you've already jumped further into relationship land, without having any knowledge or investment in the other person. It's just tough to turn a ONS into something more.

 

I guess you need to really decide what you want right now in your life. Is it a relationship? FWB? Because once you set your goal, then work backwards on figuring out the steps on how to get there.

 

If you want to date and grow it from there, then try link removed, or activity clubs. If you want casual sex, then keep doing what you're doing, because that part is certainly working.

 

I just see a LOT of people (I was one of them!) who have a certain goal in mind, yet do everything opposite to achieving that. Stay clear, and then make it happen.

 

Also, you may still hear from her.

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