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Hi

 

So I broke NC and send her a text while drunk. Never a good idea. Then we spoke on MSN and it was terrible. I mean we spoke about missing eachother, and I was a winney boy, Im so ashammed I wanted to sound cool. But I was anything but, I whinneyd how easy this must be because of

 

1. She is more beautifull then me

2. She has more options, (she has more boys coming to hit on her, I had no girls that would ever have me)

3.Is smarter

4. I failed to make her happy and thats why broke up, which was mutual because it had been a year of mess.

5. That I (which I am) wondering of gods existence and the point.

 

She said she was going through the same thing and hadnt moved on at all.

 

Why did I have to talk to her, why cant I move on? The day we talked yesterday I hadnt sleeped for more than 4 hours, my head was messed up with thoughts of her with other men and I was thinking how I failed, I did EVERYthing for her, helped her when she didnt sleep cause of stress, when she cried which she did alot. Everymorning I told her how beautifull she was.

 

Still she made the mistakes of getting guys on msn and myspace and facebook that where flirting, she accepting and thanking them for it and it keept going on and pushed them. I dont know what I could have done or given more.

 

PLease does anyone have advice a solution. I hate that I feel like a loser with nothing to give anymore. I wanted to talk to her when I was doing good and feelt good. But Im a mess, I feel like Im at the bottom.

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First thing is you need to realize that everyone has her flaws, even her. If the goal is to get over her than you need to start moving in that direction. If you guys both miss each other why are you not working on getting back?

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You need to work on yourself. Start to focus and better your self esteem! You are a great person, she once saw something in you. Bring it back, don't tell yourself that you are not good enough, because you are! You slipped up with her, it happens and next time you will be more prepared! So why don't you make changes, go out more, meet some new people and realize that hey if she once saw something, there is something great there. Even if she doesn't come back, some other girl will come. Just try to stay as positive as possible! Its all a process, weak moments come with strong days!

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Right now I feel like I just want to hug her and kiss her. But we split up 3 times before, She has many many faults emotionalie from her 12 years of annorexia battle. And their where things like I said she did that where not right. She didnt get that she was doing wrong.

 

But the problem is that I miss our good times. Im scared crasy that she is the best I will ever get. That she is so beautifull which my closesed tell me she is not more beautifull then me. But I see her like the most beautifull girl ever. I also see just the future for me as lonely and depressing, for her just joy and love.

 

So I dont know with the working to getback together. Cause I would like to for the right reasons but there where so many things that where wrong and not working especially from her emotional problems which just took everything out of me to help her.

 

But whe have also gotten so much history child loss and so on. But my friends where happy that it ended cause it wasent working. But I miss her so much.

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We all have those days. Just accept it happened and now all you have to do is pick yourself up. Its a little stumble in your walk, it will be ok. She is so beautiful in your eyes because you want her back so bad, and she rejects you. You are going to be okay, just work on changing your mindset. Make yourself more positive. You could never have a healthy relationship in how you are now. You are depending on her too much for your happiness. Let go for now, work on you and I promise everything will fall into place.

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It's very hard, but the thing that holds me back from contact is knowing that it will only hurt me more afterwards, but god knows i would love to contact her. Not to beg or whine but to just be able to have a mature, controlled chat etc.

 

be easy on yourself

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You need to stop beating yourself up! You contacted her, so you slipped, you are heartbroken, that's what happens, we mess up..

 

Here is what you did find out, she is in the same place as you, she feels like you do and is having trouble moving on also...so you are not alone or the only one of both of you suffering...

 

You have to ride it out, and it's bumpy..hang in there, the good thing about hitting bottom is that there is only one way to go, and that is up...

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