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Kind of suprised but wondering


Starman

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My ex-girlfriend and I ended it over the weekend. She has been under alot of life stress issues over several months. See my past posts for a back ground on that. So....this has put our relationship under stress. She had kept pulling away emotionally and would see my support for her as an added stress. She said she would want to date causually and be friends because thats all she has time for. I said no can't do that. How can someone just "shut off" there intimate feelings for someone. I can't. She says she still loves me. But I told her that doesn't work for me. I told her I am greiving a loss. I feel like I got divorced. We have been together for 10 months and were talking about marriage and boom, I become expendable because life got a little tough. I dont get it. Its like she wants her cake and ice cream right now.

 

Anyway, I told her I am hurt and that I cant just causually date someone I have been intimate with for 10 months. When I left she said will I see you around with a sad look and I said I am greiving, I dont know. So I went no contact and the next day she tried calling me two times and left one message saying if I could give her a call. I stuck to my NC. Any ideas why she called so quickly? I am just dying to know. Yes I still am in love with her. But sticking to NC firm. Thanks all.

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Shes 49. She said she doesn't have time for a serious relationship because of all of the stresses going on in her life (which is true) but friends say its not a reason to push away a supportive boyfriend. So I am expendable the way I look at it. But she still wants me around to casually date.

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Shes 49. She said she doesn't have time for a serious relationship because of all of the stresses going on in her life (which is true) but friends say its not a reason to push away a supportive boyfriend. So I am expendable the way I look at it. But she still wants me around to casually date.

 

Absolutely not !...If she can't be with you and love you then she cannot have you at all...and here women like me are who are good catches and the good guys are getting thrown by the wayside by women who don't know what they want...she is probably going through some midlife crisis...so I won't be to harsh towards her.

 

Stay NC and don't wait around for people to decide on what they want...our lives are half over...it's time to live your life dear!

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But what do you think she wanted by calling twice the next day? Just curious

 

Sorry, but I disagree with the other comments. Sometimes the NC gestapos take it a bit too far.

 

Take this particular call, but don't change your position on the casual dating thing. Don't beg, don't cry, don't look pathetic. Accept the decision and let her go in a loving way. She may want to negotiate a bit. Let her have her emptiness so she won't take you for granted. Let her know that you will give her the space she needs, but the two of you can't be in contact unless she wants to work on fixing things. Sticking to your guns is the best approach.

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Well, MrsoandSo...let's see how it goes...since you are the minority of all us gestapos....hope he don't come back on here telling us how he shouldn't have taken that call and he feels more like crap than before....NC is for a reason...I am not against relationships...I am just against games....you don't toss someone aside because your going through a rough patch or have problems...life is full of BS...you either want to be with someone or you don't !

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Well, MrsoandSo...let's see how it goes...since you are the minority of all us gestapos....hope he don't come back on here telling us how he shouldn't have taken that call and he feels more like crap than before....NC is for a reason...I am not against relationships...I am just against games....you don't toss someone aside because your going through a rough patch or have problems...life is full of BS...you either want to be with someone or you don't !

 

Sometimes you have to go back to the crime scene to really believe it.

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Sometimes you have to go back to the crime scene to really believe it.

 

I totally understand what you saying...but,correct me if I am wrong, the way I understand it he must take the call so he realizes that's it's over....guess that is the best way I can put it....am I close?...lol

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Starting Over In a Relationship - B...
Starting Over In a Relationship - Beginners Guide

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