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Guy I'm dating did/does Steroids!


sasha1982

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What To Do If They Cheat - Do this ...
What To Do If They Cheat - Do this First

Hi there..

I'm not sure if anyone here has any knowledge about Steroid usage???

I have been dating this guy for about 6 weeks.. We are sexually active.. The first couple times he seemed to be fine, however he did keep stopping and have to "rest" as it seemed he was going to orgasm very quickly.. He definitely doesn't last very long and seems to apologize a lot for it.

He does bodybuilding and is very in-shape and muscular and has been honest with me about going on Steroids for his last show in January. He says he is currently off the steroids and taking another medication from his doctor to make sure he doesn't have any side effects of going off the steroids?

He can't keep his penis hard for longer than 2 seconds now

He is also doing another show next January, I haven't asked but I would assume that means he is going back on the steroids for that show.

 

Is this basically a waste of my time? I really like him and he is so sweet and amazing in every other way.. He's very gentle and romantic and I don't want to be superficial and stop seeing him because he can't perform in bed.

I also have only been dating him 6 weeks and we haven't had any talks of being exclusive, so it's not really my place to say that I dislike his steroids usage and influence him in his decision in anyway...

 

What should I do????

 

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Well he is VERY muscular.. January was his first competition and he won first place in the heavyweight category.. So you can imagine how big he is LOL... I didn't get too personal with it.. I didn't even ask, he just came out and told me and said he wanted to be honest about it. He never lasted very long to begin with- but I didn't notice it being that big of a deal, and thought maybe I'm just super hot he can't contain himself LOL....

 

But now with this new medication, he says it won't last long maybe a few weeks, but he's basically impotent now!

I left my last relationship because the guy was emotionally abusive and controlling and I don't want to end up in another situation where I am compromising my happiness because of someone else's issues

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Steroids are typically a form of testosterone boost, they, in themselves don't make you bigger or stronger but they let you heal faster so you can work out harder and take shorter breaks between workouts (ie: instead of pushing yourself to the limit at the gym and needing to wait a week before doing it again, you can do it again in a day or two)... which is why athletes use them.

 

when you STOP taking them the body has become acustom to not making it's own testosterone so the levels drop below normal and estrogen takes over... which is when you get men with shrinking balls and sagging breasts (a-la Bob from Fight Club)

 

The end of cycle treatment is to keep those things from happening (it's the same drug Manny Ramirez recently tested positive for) IIRC on normal people it will boost their sex drive but on end of cycle steroid users it kills it.

 

Theoretically when he starts his next cycle his sex drive will go through the roof... though a word of caution, it does make people quite aggressive/short tempered.

 

Everything I know about this stuff is 2nd hand from my brother who is a former personal trainer... you might want to go lurk around link removed as there is a substantial amount of information there and you will get a much clearer picture of what is going on in your boyfriend's body.

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What he is taking now is to return his testosterone back on. Many steroids convert into things that affect the male virility in very adverse ways. This is just the tip of the iceberg I am afraid if he is in competition. He will continue to use steroids. They cycle on and off to get the proper gains and then have to take things to try and get their bodies to start producing the right hormones again at the right levels.

It isn't shallow as being intimate is a part of a relationship.

 

good luck

P.S. Injections are how most steroids are administered so please practice safe sex.

 

Lost

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After a guy does a steroid cycle, he typically has to do a clomid (or similar) cycle. What has happened is that post steroid cycle, his testosterone levels have dropped significantly, and his body is making less testosterone than pre-cycle. This is why he can't get/keep it up. Clomid is a female fertility drug. It is used by steroid users to kickstart the body's testosterone production.

 

EDIT: Darn, beaten by mere minutes.

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Thanks for the helpful responses !!

 

That is more my concern that the impotency part.. That could happen to any man due to illness/stress/etc and that is something I would work through for someone I care about.. But it's one thing to have that happen unexpectedly, than to do it to yourself and know the side-effects..

My main concern, like others mentioned is the aggressive/short temper that may result from taking steroids, or going off them. I have only dated him 6 weeks, so I have not seen any red flags or any signs of this kind of behaviour... But that doesn't mean it couldn't happen... It is still quite early.

He does seem very open and knowledgable about the steroid use and says he goes to his doctor regularily to make sure he isn't taking more than the required amount and that he takes this other medication to detox from the steroids.. He also mentioned that some men with rage/aggressive natures the steroids bring out the worst of them, and he is not one of those people.

But really this could just be him filling my ears with B.S. .... I can only know for certain until I see him in a situation that shows anger or rage.. So far there has been nothing, not even towards others.

 

So aside from taking things slow and just watching his behaviour, what should I tell him? Anything? Should I be honest and tell him I have doubts about it and if he and I were to get more seriously involved it would bother me?

This is only becoming an issue for me now because we have been spending more and more time together, staying over at his place, meeting his parents,etc. that I am becoming a lot more fond of him... I'm only trying to protect myself... I left a very aggressive/controlling ex-fiance 6 months ago and I'm very cautious what kind of man I open my heart to. This guy, aside from the steroid use for his competition has shown me no negative signs, aggression, or anything to beware of.. So I don't know if I am being too hard on him, or what..

 

Should I say something??

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yes, you definitely need to talk to him about this.

as for the aggression problems, you said he last cycled back in january, if i am not mistaken the aggression starts when the next cycle of his use will.

by then you may already be too deeply attached to him in order to make a good clear decision on if you want to put yourself at that risk or not.

 

i personally would not.

 

i dont think roid rage is something that selectively avoids effecting the 'nice guys'

its why they call it roid rage. i'd treat this exactly as i would a drug addict. would you date a drug addict?

thats what it comes down to. would you see yourself starting a family in later years with an addict? those are questions you have to ask yourself, and try not to view this with rose colored glasses. just like steroids its harmful to your health.

 

he isnt impotent because he's ill or stressed. he's impotent because he is abusing drugs that he shouldnt be taking. and what does that say about his charachter? is that the kind of person you are okay with spending your life with?

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I don't know a lot about it, but I figured I'd offer up the other side of the argument: many people who are knowledgeable about steroids say that roid rage is a myth. That what's really happening is you take a 160lb a$$hole and blow him up to 220lbs - guess what - he's gonna be a bigger a$$hole.

 

Even if roid rage is a myth, why would you want to potentially get seriously involved with a guy who is using steroids? That stuff does serious damage to the liver and kidneys. And one of the serious issues bodybuilders face is they are always tempted to get bigger. After that first cycle or two, getting bigger requires more and more juice. There are lots of stories online by guys who were juicing - read up on some of those and see if you can spot similar behaviors in your bf.

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Very good points.. I do agree.. and he even said the same thing that the aggressive roid monkey kind of guys just abuse them and it makes them worse.. However, he says he is not like that, nor do I see that from him.. Yet again, I've only known him for 6 weeks so I can't say I know the "real" person yet... I do know of him from my best friend who dated his best friend a year ago... All she knew about him was that he was a good guy, likes relationships, tends to get "whipped" by girls, and most people will say he is a "nice" and good guy.... So I have only heard positive feedback about his character.. However,that does not change the fact that he does/did steroids.. and they are NOT healthy for you. They are a drug.. and I vowed to myself I would NEVER get involved with anyone that does or sells drugs. No matter what kind.

My ex-fiance was a drug dealer (very very low scale) but it went against everything I believe in and I don't want to be involved long-term with anyone who has unhealthy habits or lifestyles...

 

I'm concered about the health side effects.. especially the fact that steroid use can make a man sterile.. I want kids one day... And ofcourse the mental aspect... If he shows any signs of aggression, extreme moods swings, or deep depression I am OUT.

 

But what do you suggest after knowing someone only 6 weeks? Is it worth it to just watch for a little bit, but keep a safe emotional distance...? Put it on the table how I feel about it all, and say that it could be a deal breaker?

 

Or just watch quietly and when I know enough about him if I decide it's not worth pursuing just bail.

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"They are a drug.. and I vowed to myself I would NEVER get involved with anyone that does or sells drugs. No matter what kind."

 

pay attention. you are breaking your vows.

 

i would bail, and tell him it was because of the drug use.

stick to your standards.

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From Wiki -

 

In Canada, anabolic steroids and their derivatives are part of the Controlled drugs and substances act and are Schedule IV substances, meaning that it is illegal to obtain or sell them without a prescription; however, possession is not punishable, a consequence reserved for schedule I, II or III substances. Those guilty of buying or selling anabolic steroids in Canada can be imprisoned for up to 18 months. Import and export also carry similar penalties.

 

Not to mention, all major sports bodies will disqualify any individual found to be using steroids.

 

Personally? I view steroid use in the same light as illicit drug use. If the guy cheats in sports, what else is he going to cheat at?

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Well I want to at least know if he plans on using them again......... As far as I know, he has only used them once and that was for his show in February, that was his first competition. But I am going to ask......... If he has only done them once, and decides they are unhealthy and won't do them again I will consider seeing how it goes.. but will watch his behaviour and take it slowly. If I notice any health problems (penis issues lol).. I will see this is going to be a long-term health issue and I will decide not to move forward.

I could be wrong, but I think ONE time of usage won't cause long-term effects?

Does anyone know the answer to that for sure?

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Is it worth it to just watch for a little bit, but keep a safe emotional distance...?

Do you really think you can do this?

 

I'd just bail. For competitive bodybuilders, the urge to always get bigger is very strong. He's around big guys in the gym who are juicing, and the temptation to keep upping the juice is always going to be there. Maybe he'll be the exception, and will walk away before permanent damage is done. And if you had been involved for a long time, I might suggest you stick around and help him get out before he hurts himself. But it's only been six weeks, you're not heavily invested. Do you really need this drama?

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I'm actually surprised he has been allowed to take them.. He is a police officer.. And you know looking at him, it "can't" be natural....

 

my SO's ex-friend was heavily into steriods. he was also a sheriffs deputy. he pissed dirty on drug tests 5 times before they fired him.

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I'm actually surprised he has been allowed to take them.. He is a police officer.. And you know looking at him, it "can't" be natural....

 

Allowed? Unless they are prescribed for a medical condition, they're illegal!

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As far as I know, he has only used them once and that was for his show in February, that was his first competition.

 

your story is not matching up anymore OP.

 

"He does bodybuilding and is very in-shape and muscular and has been honest with me about going on Steroids for his last show in January."

 

was it january or february?

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Not to mention, all major sports bodies will disqualify any individual found to be using steroids.

Welcome to the world of competitive bodybuilding. The drug testing they use is a joke. Look at any pro bodybuilding competition - if anyone thinks those guys aren't juiced to the gills, said person must be on more drugs than the pros!

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Welcome to the world of competitive bodybuilding. The drug testing they use is a joke. Look at any pro bodybuilding competition - if anyone thinks those guys aren't juiced to the gills, said person must be on more drugs than the pros!

 

I know I don't get it.... Bodybuilding naturally, ok fine if that floats your boat.. But using steroids I think is way too extreme, and if your body won't build muscle naturally than you shouldn't be doing it. Or go into a lightweight category.. He was in the heavyweight, is that really necessary?

 

Honestly, when I met the guy I thought he was hot and that's about it... I didn't see much coming from it... But the more I got to know him, he is a complete gentleman, very sweet, thoughtful, kind... He never pressured me for sex, or anything physical. He has been incredibly consistent, dependable... I have grown very fond of him. If he acted like a stereotypical steroid freak, I would see no appeal in him.

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