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I need to get this straight. MEN - CAN you have sex with a girl, and not get attached even a bit?


DaisyDaisy
How to Keep a Man Keen After Sleepi...
How to Keep a Man Keen After Sleeping With Him

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Ok so when I rekindled my flame with my ex of 2 years, we had sex. You don't have to tell me it was a mistake. I already know that.

 

But I'm just curious. Do men not feel even the slightest bit attachment to the girl afterwards?

 

 

I had ALL the control before we did. And then afterwards, he was indifferent towards me. And i felt very sad.

 

And its been 3 weeks now. He hasn't come back for more (even though it was amazing).

 

I'm the only girl he's ever done it with.

 

And for me, I felt really attached to him afterwards. I don't understand. Can a man literally FEEL NOTHING afterwards?!!! Not even think 'ahh i miss her'. ?! NOTHING ?!

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No its been a year (almost) since the actual break up.

 

But we were together for 2 years.

 

He is scared and scarred by the relationship. But its been such a long time! Can't i get him to look forwards instead of backwards? Or will I just be begging? I'm thinking of sending him a text sometime this week ending our contact, FOREVER.

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In a word YES. Some men can do this. I am not saying they don't feel anything, but they can ignore anything they might be feeling.

 

It shouldn't be about having control or power. His actions should show you that he is not at the same spot you are. It was obliviously more to you than it was to him.

 

There is sex and there is making love......

 

Lost

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I know its pretty generalised. I just always had it in my head that its an impossible thing to do.

 

Esp because my ex always used to tell me he would never have sex unless he's in love.

 

And there we are getting physically intimate and he doesn't tell me anything afterwards about how he felt. He'd rather just ... walk away.

 

Great !

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I've done it a few times, and I'm female! There is a BIG difference between love and sex. Men generally know this more than women. Just because somone sleeps with you does not mean they have any sort of feelings for you. I never compare except if a guy is clueless in bed, then, yeah, I do compare.

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Do you ever compare sexual partners? Or just enjoy it for what it is ?

 

If you are just doing it for the fun, of course you are 'comparing' how much fun you get out of it; if you are with someone where you have less fun, you would just move on to someone whom you enjoy more.

 

If there are emotions involved it's a whole different kettle of fish

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Do you ever compare sexual partners? Or just enjoy it for what it is ?

I think you compare when someone is really good or really bad, by just realizing that fact. Otherwise, I think it's pretty pointless to compare sexual partners.

 

And yes, men have the ability to not feel anything after sex. I think this would be more likely if you hurt him in some way.

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yes, we can have lots of sex and not get attached one bit.

 

When I hear that, I wonder if it is w/multiples partners? Or does it change if a man repeatedly goes back to the same person?

 

If one admits that feelings have gotten in the way, does that admit some sort of attachment however minor it may be?

 

My questions are free for anyone to answer. I'm just curious.

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I've never been one to sleep around, or have one night stands, but I believe in such a thing as sexual compatability. I've had sex with a couple of women whom I felt a strong attraction to, only to find the sex...less than good, and therefore no attatchment. But with a woman that I really liked, and we had great sex, the attatchment grows. It just depends, I guess. I always feel guilty if I have sex with a woman and there isn't an attatchment afterwards, for what its worth.

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less so if we sleep with the same person repeatedly, but again, if we are spending no meaningful time together, and the only time we are together is to have sex, then yes, we can be very unattached.

 

the 'feelings getting in the way' thing can be either:

1. we're just saying that because we need an excuse to stop sleeping together without being mean about it.

2. we really are developing feelings and we don't want to get attached (for whatever reason - afraid to get hurt, dont want responsibility of SO, etc.)

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2. we really are developing feelings and we don't want to get attached (for whatever reason - afraid to get hurt, dont want responsibility of SO, etc.)

 

I'm almost certain that's what happened with my ex. As soon as we get really close and he's about to feel something, it's all lovely for a moment ... until he runs a mile.

 

 

What are you meant to do with a guy like that ? :S

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I'm almost certain that's what happened with my ex. As soon as we get really close and he's about to feel something, it's all lovely for a moment ... until he runs a mile.

 

 

What are you meant to do with a guy like that ? :S

 

Hmm... do you want to get back together? If you do I think you're going about it the wrong way by sleeping together right now... you should have a talk about it and see if that's even what he really wants, or if he's okay just having sex with you and running off.. which is what he appears to be doing. You can't have sex and assume he is going to be head over heels for you and ready to be with you again. He MIGHT be falling for you again but the baggage from your previous relationship with each other has not been resolved and the only way to do that is to talk about it not have sex...

 

Just my 0.02...

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In general, I think most men can and most women cannot. And as stated by other posters, there's a big difference between sex and making love.

 

My first thought is about how your relationship ended. If you left him out of the blue and without good cause, he may have taken the opportunity as a bit of revenge...

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