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It isn't getting any easier . . .


All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You

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I joined this forum three weeks ago, when my ex broke my heart. Immediately after the breakup, I was feeling fine. I didn't really cry. I had accepted that this relationship wasn't going to work out. I had accepted that breaking up was the right thing to do. I actually felt a sense of relief, when it happened.

 

It all seemed to go downhill from there though. For the last two weeks, I've been a complete wreck and it's getting worse and worse. I'm doing everything I should be doing. I've been journaling. I've been exercising and eating right. I've been reading. I've been going out with friends. I've been picking up new hobbies. However, nothing is getting better. It's getting worse.

 

I can't get him off my mind. If a good memory pops into my head, I cry, because I start missing him. If a bad memory pops into my head, I still cry, because I remember the pain. I can't stand this anymore. I feel like I'm going to go crazy. I can't sleep at night, because I keep thinking of him and crying. I even dream of him, when I sleep. The first thing that happens in the morning is I remember that he's gone and I start crying all over again. I just want this emotional rollercoaster to stop. I've accepted that it's really over. I've accepted that this relationship was meant to end. I've accepted that we're wrong for each other, but why does it still hurt so much? Why do I still feel like something is missing inside me?

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> I can relate. I was happy, had things going on in my life, he was even feeling jealous and left out because my life was getting back to normal. And now I'm a crumpled, beaten woman starting my second day in a row of nearly uncontrollable crying. (which is proving to be really enjoyable at work)

 

Hang in there... it's a loss. He was a major part of your life, it's only natural to grieve. I believe we need those attachments and that feeling of love, rightly or wrongly, and when it's taken from us, it's very hard to adjust to being just another person in the great big world out there.

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hey I think 3 weeks in still early days, so off course your bound to feel the way you do, its normal. I felt like that months on end, but the first month is always the worst because everything is still fresh in your mind. As time goes by though, those memories will still be there, but emotionally, you will be able to cope much better and even though you may still break down, it will not be as often and when you do, you will be able to overcome it hopefully. You should try writing your thoughts down in a journal, good or bad, just write it all down, then read it again in a few months, and you will see, that it really does get better. Think about, the worst part was the actual break up, and now thats over, so the only way from here, is upwards

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sadly, you have to hit rock bottom before you can begin the ascent. basically, you gotta let it all out, lose all the hope, let go, then youll see incremental improvements every day. what your feeling is normal, trust me. hang in there.

 

stay strong. man up.

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There is a movie/TV/Whatever quote that popped into my head a few weeks back coping with my breakup. "You will have good days and bad days. Today was a bad day." A friend of mine who is at one year of seperation with his wife(she left him) told me that the quote is true. He also said it will come a time when you will have more good days than bad then you will eventually only have bad hours, then minutes, etc. I still on occasion have a moment when I think of her and sigh. I think I'm at the place now where its missing the relationship, not her specifically, and she's whats last on the memory.

 

Hold strong, you will get better.

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Effervescent-

 

don't worry. it hasn't been very long. you are doing everything right. i broke up with my husband in november. now that it's june, i can't tell you how much better i feel. obviously the pain is still there. but now i go hours without thinking of my ex-husband. i still miss him terribly, but i am now excited for my life. i can finally breathe and not feel like such a prisoner. i also don't indulge myself in thinking about him and doing the crying thing. i used to purposely play our songs and sit and cry. i allowed myself that time, but then there's a point where you say you cannot do that anymore. take the power back from your ex. you need to be the one in control. become empowered from your new strength. good luck. i know how you are feeling.

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