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'First Love' Will i ever get over him?


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So i'm writing this in the hope that somebody else understands this. The amount of posts i have written from only discovering this forum yesterday is unbelieveable. I just have so many problems, so much to talk about and let off my chest.. I hope it benefits me for some good.

 

So, yeah my first love. L. I was 15 when i first met him, he was 18. I know, its young. With him a year, we lived together, did everything together. All i can remember is how perfect he made me feel. We split up over a year ago. He got back with his ex girlfriend he was with before me, and i began a relationship with a guy that lasted 14 months. The truth is though, I miss him so much i just feel like there is a massive void in my life, my stomach turns and the ironic thing is we split up because i cheated. I cheated, the biggest mistake of my life. I will never forgive myself, I ruined my own life. He is still with his girlfriend, i haven't even seen him since the day we broke up.

What i'm trying to get at is, Do i miss him, or the thought of him? The truth is i can't remember the bad things in our relationship (we had plenty of them i assure you!) I just look at photographs and melt. Is it the idea of him, and will i ever meet someone that compares?

 

E.

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