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No specifics for first date


Yates33

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I called a girl thursday, asked her out for today (sunday) and told her we should meet up for coffee in the evening. She said yes, but no time or speficic place was discussed. We live very close to each other, so I figured even calling the same day would suffice to sort out where and what time exactly to meet. I called today (sunday) but got her voicemail.

 

I don't like repeatedly calling girls...so I called her once today, that should suffice to show that I kept up my end of the bargain right?

 

I am going to go to the beach and surf, is she calls, she calls!

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No, I did not leave a message in her voicemail.

 

I told her, sunday around 7pm we will meet up for coffee. That shouldn't leave you wondering if you have a date/meeting or not, should it? I usually do set things up right then and there, but I was going to call back before today, but got caught up.

 

Should I text her?

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If I a guy asked me out with a "timeframe", I would expect a follow up call BEFORE the actual day to firm up the plan. If he waited till that day to call and then didn't leave a voicemail, I wouldn't wait around for him.

Just one woman's point of view.

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I would call her again, and leave a message with a specific time to meet. Also, ask her to return the call, and then apologize for not being more specific.

 

This girl really seems to enjoy her space not have guys on her back. She gets alot of attention. I don't want to come off as being needy.

 

I figured, if I called her...6 hours before the approximate time we were suppose to meet, she would see that call and if she was really interested, she would call back? Don't you think? I don't see a girl who is interested in a guy, seeing the missed call on a day they are suppose to meet and not returning it, am I right?

 

Maybe a text, to be less intruding...but I just dont know about contacting her multiple times when one time should suffice for her to reciprocate

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i don't think that calling the same day as a date shows that you have a lot of interest in her. like i said, it annoys me. i've ignored a guy's call, even when i liked him, because i felt like he was just expecting me to be sitting by the phone all day, on pins and needles for our plans.

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i don't think that calling the same day as a date shows that you have a lot of interest in her. like i said, it annoys me. i've ignored a guy's call, even when i liked him, because i felt like he was just expecting me to be sitting by the phone all day, on pins and needles for our plans.

 

We had plans though, and I honestly got caught up this weekend.

 

I just texted her telling her I called her earlier, but missed her and that I apoligize for not getting to her earlier, that I just had a really busy weekend but that if she's still up for meeting up later, to let me know.

 

So...a phone call...and a follow up text explaining and apoligizing, good enough?

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Honestly, Yates, I think it's good enough. Yes, you probably should have called earlier, but it's not the freaking end of the world; it's just coffee! And plus you apologized, which is worth a ton.

 

If she doesn't respond, then either a. she's not that into you or b. she has some strict rules for what's not OK in dating, one of which includes not waiting till what, in her mind, is "the last minute". No harm in that, but I for one wouldn't want to date a girl who was so strict about things like that.

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well, i don't think it's a matter of being strict. what's a girl to do? sit around all day and wonder if he is going to call or not? in the past, i've had some guys do this, some repeatedly. once a guy did that to me, i went ahead and met him up, but several hours late (because he called so late at night, and i already went out with a friend, so i met up with him much later.) the next time he did that, and i didn't hear from him by 5 PM, i just went ahead and made plans with another friend. and when he called, i just didn't pick up. why should i? by the way - it later turned out he was married!!!!

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I've been following your posts for quite sometime and I'd have to say the #1 most consistent problem you have is that you concentrate so much on being as non needy as possible, that you've went overboard and now girls just get the impression that you're not interested. I personally don't think this was a problem for you to begin with, and you should always tailor advice to your specific circumstances.

 

Girls have a short attention span when it comes to guys who hesitate and aren't willing to progress things right along, and rightfully so. I know that you are just trying to play the game the right way, but this is the way it's coming accross to her. After all, we're only here on this earth for a limited time amount of time, ad time's always running out. I know you don't like the phone, but you really should learn to call just to talk to girls. It really does help solve a lot of the problems I see lots of guys encounter (reduce flaking, girls call you back more, keeps girls in the picture longer). It really is a skill to develop, if you wanna succeed that is.

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I don't see much wrong with what Yates did. Three days ago, they agreed on Sunday 7pm for coffee. Sure, it might've been a tad better to call Saturday afternoon instead of earlier today to finalize the exact location, but this seems to be far from a deal-breaker.

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Such a balancing act. Contact too soon or too much and you're too needy.... Not enough and you're disinterested. ](*,)

Not really though, I found a better solution. Instead of waiting to call to protect against sounding needy, now I make sure I just make sure I don't sound needy when I call. From my point of view, my job once I've gotten the number is to give them enjoyment every time I call and give it to them as often as it takes to keep them interested. I'm not interested in protecting against imaginary problems someone else gives me advice on before even knowing how I talk to girls personally. This has led to much better results!

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Well, she never called or texted back....see...now THAT'S RUDE.

 

Write her off unless she comes back with a really good explanation.

 

Sunday @ 7pm for coffee was the agreed-upon plan, regardless of whether the exact coffee shop was decided at that time or not. Calling to finalize the location 6+ hours prior to the meetup was enough time in advance.

 

Even if she thought that six hours was "cutting it too close", just up and vanishing seems overly sensitive and little extreme.

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Write her off unless she comes back with a really good explanation.

 

Sunday @ 7pm for coffee was the agreed-upon plan, regardless of whether the exact coffee shop was decided at that time or not. Calling to finalize the location 6+ hours prior to the meetup was enough time in advance.

 

Even if she thought that six hours was "cutting it too close", just up and vanishing seems overly sensitive and little extreme.

 

She just called back, apoligizing saying she had a crazy day and that she didn't have that phone on with her, it was at home charging. I told her I had to go and I couldn't talk right now, but to text me her new number and we can re-arrange another meeting later on during the week.

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Well I hate it when I'm left hanging too, even if we've agreed on a day and time, I like to know where we're meeting a few days beforehand.. Last minute means I'm never really 100% sure if they're that into me.

 

I think next time just confirm time, place all at once.

 

As for her reply... that is dumb.. I mean yeah I would be annoyed that you hadn't confirmed earlier.. but I would guess you were gonna call on the day and have my phone ready just in case.

 

BUT.. why did you say you couldnt talk right now? To me that would be a major brush off too...

 

I think you both played a bit of a game here... you're not so much to blame.. but still.. if you're genuine about seeing her, just go for it, don't try and play * * * for tat.

 

Hope that makes sense!

 

Ammy

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Yates, if it makes you feel better, I do the same thing. Sometimes I wait on the place b/c I would chose different places depending on the weather. However, after the call, you should have left a voicemail. Ideally, it is best to call the previous day in case the girl needs time to get ready and has plans before that. I'd agree w/ the others that a date is still up in the air until you finalize the details.

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BUT.. why did you say you couldnt talk right now? To me that would be a major brush off too...

 

Ammy

 

 

Because I really couldn't. I had a very important business call on the other line and when I saw she called, I put that person on hold. I told her I would call her during the week so we can confirm another date and she said okay and texted me her new number after we hung up. I mean, if I was genuinely busy, how is that a major brush off?

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Because I really couldn't. I had a very important business call on the other line and when I saw she called, I put that person on hold. I told her I would call her during the week so we can confirm another date and she said okay and texted me her new number after we hung up. I mean, if I was genuinely busy, how is that a major brush off?

 

Okay no probs.. in that context it's fine.. I just thought you were saying that cos you were annoyed at her... but if its a genuine reason then for sure that is cool.

 

Did she text her number?

 

Ammy

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10 Unique Date Ideas
10 Unique Date Ideas

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