Jump to content

So confused? Sorry its a tad long but any advice would be great!


Lauren8785

Recommended Posts

Man oh man Im not sure what to do!?!?

 

Ok Wednesday night I sent my bf a text msg asking him if he wanted to hang out so I never heard back. I ended up sending him 5 text messages total. One voicemail. Texted his mom because I thought she'd be in town because my bf told me she'd be in town June 1st for her son's back surgery and later found out she wasn't in town and I texted her is "Paul" ok I havent heard from him just wanted to know if he wanted to hang out blah blah blah. Never heard back from her right away either. So then I ended up calling his brother's house ( my bf lives with his bro) and his brother's gf "Stacy" answered and told me "Paul's" sleeping his back hurts really bad today from dealing with gravel work and he's resting but Ill tell him you called and to call you when he gets up so I was like alright thanks. Didn't hear from him the rest of the night.

 

Then boom the next day he sent me a bunch of text messages saying "Hey how have you been lately, well there are reasons that I ain't been texting you that much is that for one is because im not used to having a cell phone and I keep forgetting that I have one and im not used to the realtionship life im used to being alone and im 29 and a grown man and im not into putting taps on people or watch everything that I do cuz that ain't what im about that S* is crazy to me and that right there is nuts so I just wished you could understand its way too much and I dont know what to say"

 

I explained to him that I wasn't trying to put taps on him. I only contacted him that much because I was trying to get a hold of him and was worried. I'm sorry for smothering you that is not my intentions. Then he replied I know but its too much. I told him instead of texting all of this can we please talk in person and he's like not right now its not good timing. So I left it at that.

 

Then later on that same night he started texting me again he said whatever is this fast for you, I replied No it's not going fast to me I just need to learn to chill out and not text so much and I agreed with him that, that was crazy for me to do all that, that night and I understand where he is coming from and where you would be freaked out because I would be freaked out too if someone did all that to me, yada yada yada. I told him this is my 1st serious realtionship and that Im not perfect and I'm going to make mistakes and this is one of them and again I am sorry I did that and that he's had more experience in realtionships then I do and he's like that I do. Then I told him you know this really ain't a big issue, it's just a matter of trying to understand where each person is coming from and making a compromise to make both people happy. I told him I would be willing to chill out and back off a bit if he can text me more, this way we both are happy. I told him it takes two to make this right. And he said yeah thats a start and yes it does and I will try, so I guess he is willing to compromise with me.

 

Then yesterday he starts texting me pretty much all day which I find odd since he just basically told me to chill out on that with him, yet he's blowing up my phone which I dont mind but its like I thought you told me to cool it, but maybe its him keeping his compromise with me about texting more..I dk. But for the texts it was nothing serious just talked about how our day was going and work. I'm learning to just keep it light and cool and go with the flow in the texts and when we see each other in person I'll bring up this issue to talk about it more. I mean in texts I feel some what reliefed, but it needs to be talked out in person which is much better then in texts. So I was glad to be able to be in touch with him. Then when I came home from work I noticed on his Myspace page he deleted all my comments I left him and his quote used to be "In love with the love of my life and my name," and it was up there for a while and now thats deleted which I was a little hurt by but at least his realtionship status is still in a realtionship. I hope he doesn't change that I will be peeved. Im sure if he didn't want a realtionship with me, he would have told me when this all happened, right!?!?!? Plus he wouldn't have been texting me like crazy the next day after this all happened??? I just hope things work out for us. I love him a lot and don't want to lose him and I know what I have to do, back off, give him his space, but its soo hard Please any advice or suggestions would be appreciated! Sorry so long!!

 

Just details: I'm 23. He's 29. We been together for almost two months and yes I know we still have a lot to learn about one another and the realtionship is still fresh, yada yada yada.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Lauren, oh dear. I'd like to tell you that it's cool and your relationship is going to work out. Maybe it will but I have some concerns. The six year age difference is pretty wide still since you are pretty young. Second, you guys are trying to figure out the proper amount of texting so you don't annoy each other. The fact he deleted you off his myspace is the most troubling. Why would he do that as you are becoming apparently closer? And did he think a girl who texts him so many times in a day would not notice that little detail? I would like to tell you things are going to work out but it sounds like you're smothering the guy. Even when you are with a guy you need to present some challenge and not be too available 24/7 or clingy. On the other hand, maybe it is just an adjustment period in which you will weird each other out somewhat. The fact he seems to be trying sounds good, but I keep going back to the myspace deletions. Like, does that mean someone looking at his page will think he's not in a relationship? Red flag. Good luck.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This texting thing does not need to be talked about anymore you have both said your piece even if by poor communication (texts) It is far too trivial to "bring up again" ,,,just relax... you should not have hunted him down that night it was literally stalking..its over now and sorted...put it behind you...too much talk about your relationship very early in the scene can actually be a good reason for someone to leave it, its suffocating...just keep your communications open and honest and dont sweat the small things anymore...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This texting thing does not need to be talked about anymore you have both said your piece even if by poor communication (texts) It is far too trivial to "bring up again" ,,,just relax... you should not have hunted him down that night it was literally stalking..its over now and sorted...put it behind you...too much talk about your relationship very early in the scene can actually be a good reason for someone to leave it, its suffocating...just keep your communications open and honest and dont sweat the small things anymore...

 

But isn't it important to talk face to face and get this out in the open?? Rather then just leaving this issue to the texts we had and not discussing it in person at all?? I would think it'd be more meaningful to sit down and talk about it face to face and see eachothers non verbal expressions!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

He Calls Me Instead Of Texting
He Calls Me Instead Of Texting

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...