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At what point do you consider someone to be obsessed?


omfgzwhat

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I know that during break ups it hurts and you do say things you regret but at what point does this "grief" turn into an obsession?

 

It hurts to lose someone but when exactly is it time to throw the towel in and just flat out admit youre obsessed with that person?

 

I don't know if I'm explaining this right but I saw a post on here and it kind of made me wonder what peoples opinion is on this.

 

Basically, you leave someone and make it clear you want NC, you dont want them back, and yet they continue to pursue you, I guess, when do you get worried about it and consider it obsessed?

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When the person repeated contacts you after you have asked them to stop. You can get a restraining order to keep them away from you. People have a right to their "safety zone" and if someone continues to cross it without permission it is against the law.

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Okay I just want to make this clear that while I'm not in this situation (I do have a restraining order against my ex but he isn't "obsessed") I just want to know what peoples opinions on this are, because I think that its something that happens quite often and no one takes it seriously.

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Obsession is fueled by mixed communication. If you want nothing to do with someone just say, "I want nothing to do with you." The ex I was obsessed with could have said this to me at any time and I would have turned on heel and walked away unfazed. I asked him if that's what he wanted and he said no. I asked him what he did want then and he said he didn't know. I let him drive me crazy until I couldn't get any crazier and still function. Then I had to let him go without any definitive answers. If only I had been on ena then...

 

I'm sure there are plain crazy people, those are whom the law is for.

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This post made me smile as I went through the stage with my ex that, because he was seeing me less and less, and no 'caring' sign-offs in texts etc etc plus a suspicious email, that I went round to his house 'under cover' and walked up and down the street loads of times in my hoodie

 

Of course no one else was there, he just watched TV then went upstairs to bed by himself and....I felt like a complete idiot

 

However, it didn't do anyone any harm, it was a catalyst for me to move on and I've never been so daft again *sigh*

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I have always been pretty good about limiting my phone calls, e-mails, and texts...probably because the risk of rejection hurts too bad. I have, however, been guilty of showing up at old hangouts, hoping that they are there, and even the occasional drive past their house. Not really trying to see if they're with someone else...just thinking about memories and all the good times I had there. NC is so hard...but nobody has ever told me that they wanted me out of their life completely, so I guess I'm not THAT annoying to them...just hurting myself, I suppose.

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I don't think there's any particular time limit to when someone is "obsessed" or not. I think if the break up has been sudden or without closure it's a lot more possible that the dumped person will strive to move on, and therfore linger in the past, both mentally and maybe geographically. It would be incredibly selfish if someone who had dumped their partner without a good explanation filed for a restraining order after two weeks or so. Anyway, I think all that has got more to do with behaviour and aggression than time and nostalgia. You're not a dangerous nutcase just because you have a broken heart that heals too slow.

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