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Lingering Ex Battle, whom I will always love.


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So a long story short. (I'll try) My ex moved out of our apartment in Dec. after being broken up for 4-5 months while living together. We were together for almost 2 years previous to breaking up. It was both of our first serious relationships. He's a commitment-phobe type, grass is always greener on the other side type. Anyway, He started seeing someone new so I just had to kick him out. (He didn't like that either).

 

After stages of NC and then trying to be be friends, I continued to enforce NC on my part. I don't understand why he wants us to be friends so badly but he insists!

 

I've just started dating and getting myself out there again, not very successful, but happy I see that I can do this again. My ex and I have been keeping in contact a couple times a week over e-mail or text. We see each other about once or twice a month. It just seems like a make each other jealous battle every time we're together.

 

The point of my post is that I KNOW and feel that this is the man I am supposed to be with. Everything is just RIGHT when we're together. I always think it's cause he needs to see what else is out there. I know he's not ready for marriage, but this is the man I want to marry.... he says he doesn't think I am the one, but you never know what will happen 5 years from now... does anyone know what this means or how to deal with this? Why is it so complicated?

 

He's been with this new girl now for almost 7 months and they still aren't in a relationship. When I ask him why not, he says, I dunno it just doesn't get brought up. And he said "I told her in the beginning I didn't want a relationship right now"..... and he just seems so indecisive, the same way he was when we were together.

 

But it's like when I need something, I know he's there... He always will be.

 

I just want him to realize the potential we have. Keeping him in my life is hard, but living without him seems senseless... I am at a wall.

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What are you looking for here dear? Do you want us to confirm your beliefs because I am afraid I cannot do that for you. I can only say that in my experience, if your ex is dating someone else and you want him back, it is best to let him know that you cannot be friends because you are interested in something more but you will not wait forever and then simply cut contact. Othewise, you are in limbo and are heartbroken for years while he bops around until he finds the woman he actually wants to marry. I'm sorry for your pain, but I think that you are also creating some of the pain for yourself unfortunately.

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You are right.

 

He wants to do dinner Thursday night. I'm so excited to see him, but I know how bad I will hurt when we split afterwords.

 

I'm thinking about telling him straight up at dinner that we can't stay in touch anymore. I'm scared.

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You are right.

 

He wants to do dinner Thursday night. I'm so excited to see him, but I know how bad I will hurt when we split afterwords.

 

I'm thinking about telling him straight up at dinner that we can't stay in touch anymore. I'm scared.

 

 

There is no need to be afraid that you will lose him because he is already gone.

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