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Hard time getting over separation......HELP!


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O.k. Here goes.


I was married in 1999 to a man that I really loved and I thought he felt the same way.


During the course of the relationship we had various problems which range from his mom not liking me and the fact that I occasionally had conversation with my ex-boyfriend.


In 2000 he moved back home with his parents and I moved in after a two/three week separation. I got pregnant about one/two months later. During the pregnancy I found out that he was seeing another woman, so I moved out. The baby came and we moved back in together in our own place May 2001.


December 2001 strange things started happening again and I found out that he was seeing someone. We fought many times on my initiating it - I am not proud of it but I am a very aggressive person. We fought on New Years Eve over a little stupid issue of not having gas in the car, and that ruined our new year 2002. February 13th we had another stupid argument about the car and he moved out on February 14th 2002 and left me and our daughter behind.


I really did love him and he is now living with another woman. We have not filed for a divorce and I do not want to get one. I am very religious and he was tooo.


During the past year of our separation there have been alot of ups and downs. I have gone over to the apartment where they have been staying and demanded that he come out and talk to me. I was in the apartment for about one hour talking to him and he eventually left with me. But, that did not change anything he is not with me, this was in May 2002.


We have been together intimately a few times since the break up and sometimes we have a good talking relationship and sometimes it's not so good.


In January of this year he came over to my apartment and spent some time with me, we slept together, he wanted to leave, I refused to let him go. His cell phone rang I answered it....it was the other woman and that caused a big drama. After he left I kept his cell phone got her number out called her and told her that she had stolen a part of my family and it was very hard for me to deal with this whole thing.


Our daughter spends most of her time with my grandmother on another island, but when she is with me he hardly ever spends time with her I always have to beg him and plead with him. Before we were separated he was the most loving father any baby girl could ever have. Now it is totally diferent.


Lastnight, 28th Feb, 2003 I went to a popular hangout just to pick up something from a friend of mine and he (my husband) was there with his girlfriend. I totally lost it. I immediately left and went to wait on them until they arrived at the road nearest to where they lived. I blocked them off so they were stuck in the road. We alljust sat there for 5 minutes then I got out to talk to him but he would'nt screw the glass down. I busted the glass, the girl called the police it is her car. The police came I have to pay for the glass. I have told the police that he owes me child support ans when he pays me I will fix the glass.


And that is where I am at this point.


I know now after all this he is probably not EVER coming back, but I feel as though I have to get satisfaction for all the hurt my daughter and I are going through, and I will not let him live in peace with her as long as I live.


I know this is silly but sometimes it really is hard to get a grip on this.


His mom does'nt even care about the whole situation.


I am so lost and don't know what to do. I have a really goo job and my family is my strong tower that I have to lean on. they don't know about all the drama but they are there when I need them.


The last thing I want right know is anyone's pity, I just need advice.



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Oh my god, I am so sorry to hear your situation.. and I thought that what I was going through was hard, after finding out the guy I loved and gave my everything to ..was seeing someone behind my back and sleeping with her everyday before coming to me and then I guess we slept together. And he at the end..- chooses that girl.


There is only one thing you are able to do.. which is file for child support.. get it and then leave him. There is nothing you can do which will make him come back even though I know deep inside that is what you want./ You will have to move on .. you can't continue to keep on hurting yourself by putting yourself in thoes types of situation on trying to talk to him. It is clear he has choosen another life and you will have to let him be and have to live with your daughter and try to be the best mother you can be to her. Don't let her get caught up into all of this.. that can ruin a child's mind.


It is going to be the most hardest thing in life you will ever have to be face with and do. And you won't get over it for awhile.. but by counseling it might go faster. I am sorry to hear that. Try to move on .. and try to go out occupy your mind because nothing you will do will change his mind and have him come back.. it is clear everytime he did he went back to his g/f. Divorce him at the end as well and go on with your life. Try to find the good things in everything and forget him. Don't keep on hurting yourself by comfronting him and always trying to see him to talk or resolve it won't change nothing,.



It didn't with me either.. luckly we are no married but still.



I wish the best for you.. May God guide you to right

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