35 and Still Lost! Is it me?

[MamaSeeker73]

I need a serious change in my life! I am desperate and have no where else to turn. I am a 35 y/o woman. I am suppose to be in the prime of my life and I am broke and unsatisfied with my life. It sucks!

 

I have aspirations of being a writer, but I always seem to fall short of finishing or getting the support I need. I am a free spirt. I NEED to be creative in some way. I tried blogging and it started off good, but I wasn't making money off of it because I was writing about adult stuff and alot of affiliate programs frown on adult content.

 

I tried to write a book and got so tangled up in the story that I put it down and never picked it back up. I started a short story and that's not finished either. I used to crochet but haven't done that in a while, money seems to always go to bills. My mind needs to be stimulated and somehow I need to make money being stimulated and creative.

 

I somehow became a stay at home mom and I'm just sick of it. Being broke and scraping the bottom of the barrel each month is depressing and so very hard on my psyche. I left my husband in charge of the money and every time we get a break like tax time or a loan from MY parents, he spends it all willy nilly and then we are back to square one again when we could have been ahead at least for a month. He just never sees the bigger picture when it comes to spending and won't let me help. Maybe its a man thing.

 

So I need to make some money some how so I can stop depending on him and have a life of my own and show this fool how to handle money.

 

I even tried to go back to school for writing and then tried for a medical assistant but I have some old loans that are keeping me from even going back to school to apply for financial aid. I am dead broke and it scares the hell out of me.

 

Though I like writing on occasion I feel like I haven't found my niche in life. I have always loved to get into many different things and felt like I had commitment issue when it comes to a career but I need a change and I need it soon.

 

 

Any help out there? Am I a late bloomer? Am I being lazy? I'm a great self starter but when it comes to seeing a project through I never take it all the way.

[MamaSeeker73]

thank you for listening Shuttlefish, I'll check it out now.

[bulletproof]

To answer your question, of course it's you. I say that because who else could it be? You are the only one in control of your own life.

 

There are tons of people who want to get paid to be creative but have to have jobs for money and do their creative projects on the side, in the hopes that they will be able to make money somewhere down the line. Or, there are people that manage to combine the two (like teachers) who can still do what they love to some degree and get paid.

 

My advice to you is to get any job you can, creative or not, pay off any debt that you have, and then take it from there. You can go to school, volunteer in a creative position, intern, whatever, if you truly want to get your foot in the door doing something creative.

 

I'm not sure what you say when you mention "not getting the support you need". What does that mean? You have to provide your own support.

[MamaSeeker73]

Hey Bullet,

 

What I meant by not getting support is finding other writers or other people who are creative to vibe with and support each other. When you're a home maker there isnt much contact with the outside world.

[bulletproof]

You have to make that contact. Do you go out with your child during the day? Do you meet other parents? Do you find groups on the internet that might share interests with you, whom you could get together with and either bring your child or leave him/her with your husband/other relative/friend?

 

Also, there are plenty of artists/writers who are not even remotely involved in the artistic community and they still write. I was just reading an article the other day about Jonathan Franzen and he talked about how all he did was write, and never met any of his contemporaries in the beginning.