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I like him...but I also like this other guy...


jhinesis

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I'm on link removed...I'm actually *talking* to like 6 guys. Most in the early stages--one or two dates, some I haven't met yet. One of them is my apparent favorite--lots of chemistry, I'm really drawn to this one--we've actually slept together once before--after a month of dating. *But*, it may turn out that he wouldn't be a good match for anything serious, for several different reasons. Not that I wouldn't be interested--I definitely am, but again, I'm unsure if he's longterm potential.

 

So my next favorite, I've met him twice in person and we have plans to hang out tomorrow. I like this guy, he's funny, very good looking--completely my type. I think I'd really, really like him *if* I hadn't previously become enamored with this other guy(the iffy one). *This* guy, is a better match for me, seems super-interested, texting me all the time, making concrete plans, he's awesome. I'm not sure why I don't like him more. It baffles me. I'm sure it's because this other one has my interest right now(even though that's probably not a good thing). So right now, I see absolutely no reason to stop seeing this guy--but do you think feelings can change? If things fizzle out with the first guy, is it possible for me to see this one in a stronger light? Again, there's nothing wrong with him at all. We have a lot in common, I *am* attracted to him and I could definitely see us together, but I don't the strong feelings I have for him that I do for this other guy--but this is to be expected, right? I've spent a lot more time communicating and getting to know the first one, we've been out a lot more. I think I just need more time with him. Thoughts?

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I think you should fig out which one you would like to see in the long run... and focus just on that one person.. and if it doesnt work out then there will be others..

 

seeing 2-3 over and over.. its just gonna get complicated...

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a) you dont see yourself in a lasting relationship with the first guy

 

b) the second guy has everything except being the first one that you talked to instead of the other guy

 

and c) you already made up your mind that you want to leave the first guy

 

i would recommend telling the first guy that things arent going to work out and then spending more time with this new awesome guy.

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The problem is--the first one is young. Younger than me, not by a ton, but he seems to have a short attention span. I don't think he's looking for what I'm looking for--though he's interested enough in me *right now*. But who knows how long that'll last--he may just drift off. He's the type with TONS of friends that are girls(pretty, young flirty ones who'd like to be more than friends), he's surrounded constantly by female-attention. I DO like the first one--but I honestly think he's going to lose interest in ME, eventually.

 

The other one is older, seems more mature and has a good head on his shoulders. I think there'd be more potential with him--but I don't know him nearly as well.

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The problem is--the first one is young. Younger than me, not by a ton, but he seems to have a short attention span. I don't think he's looking for what I'm looking for--though he's interested enough in me *right now*. But who knows how long that'll last--he may just drift off. He's the type with TONS of friends that are girls(pretty, young flirty ones who'd like to be more than friends), he's surrounded constantly by female-attention. I DO like the first one--but I honestly think he's going to lose interest in ME, eventually.

 

The other one is older, seems more mature and has a good head on his shoulders. I think there'd be more potential with him--but I don't know him nearly as well.

 

so basically the first one is just looking for sex then will move on......

 

theres a big community on match that partake in this espicaly the 18-30 crowd...

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The reason you're stuck on the one guy is because you slept with him. It happens all the time. A girl can be dating 2 guys and like both of them. Normally the guy who sleeps with her first will have a better chance of entering a relationship with her.

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i'm with dubb here. it seems like the only reason you even still care about the first guy is because you slept with him.

 

it happens. all you can really do is move on and go forward with your life from here. but i would suggest letting this first guy know sooner rather then later because if you are so sure that it wont work out then it really isnt fair to not tell him that you cant see it working out.

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The problem is--the first one is young. Younger than me, not by a ton, but he seems to have a short attention span. I don't think he's looking for what I'm looking for--though he's interested enough in me *right now*. But who knows how long that'll last--he may just drift off. He's the type with TONS of friends that are girls(pretty, young flirty ones who'd like to be more than friends), he's surrounded constantly by female-attention. I DO like the first one--but I honestly think he's going to lose interest in ME, eventually.

 

The other one is older, seems more mature and has a good head on his shoulders. I think there'd be more potential with him--but I don't know him nearly as well.

 

 

hmmm....it seems like you feel more attracted to the first one...due to chemistry/physical attraction....personality.......but your head stops you from dating this giy further because deep inside you know that he is not commitment type.......

the second guy meets you criteria...but u still feel more attracted to crush # 1...

 

but i honestly think...by the end of the day...i would really go for a guy who likes me a lot...and show respect & care towards me...rather than with someone whom i know might leave me one day ...& then i have to start all over again.........you have to analyze both of these guyz...to see how much interest they take into you......it seems like that you are expecting a lot more from the second guy...

 

Have you considered what will happen when the first guy leaves you...where wud u start then....

 

the second guy deserves a chance...and love takes time to develop...

 

i hope my opinion helps u figure out your dilemma

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The way I feel about the first guy is not just about the sex. We only had sex a week ago and that was the first and only time, I felt drawn to him rather strongly from the first time I met him--definitely moreso than most people I meet--I've met 10 or so guys off Match. It's a mixture of chemistry, his personality, his appearance--and the way he acts with me.

 

I'm most certainly not ending anything with the first guy based on a "bad feeling", I'll keep seeing him and see where it goes. I'm just uneasy because he's told me that he'd never had a long or serious relationship, pretty much that he'd had tons and tons of short relationships when he was younger, that he'd been one to get bored easily(and those very few he really liked, had left him for someone else), *but* he also expressed to me that he was looking for something more now. The pessimistic part of me still feels uneasy upon hearing that, though. I'm trying to be realistic.

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